Dumb Guys

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by pervasiveone, Nov 20, 2004.

  1. pervasiveone

    pervasiveone Active Member

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    Ladies and Gentlemen....

    So here is the scenario, I found it intresting. I am currently seeing this girl that puts up a pretty rough and tough exterior (she is a former cop). She is super cute and cool once you get to know her.

    Last night... we were messing around and talking.. and she stopped me. Nothing sexual was going on... most of our clothes were still on too... Her exact words were that "She was scared to have sex with me." Now... not wanting to be presumptious and assume she was talking about my dick, I asked why.

    Her response was that she really enjoyed "being" with me and that I made her feel "like a girl". I probed this subject some more and she told me that guys in the past have been pretty cut and dry when it comes to sex and things. The nifty part about it all is that we haven't actually had sex (just kind going with the flow). Not even really naked together. She said that just by the way that I touched her (and not even in the obvious sexual areas) made her feel awesome, and that she had never felt that before (she is 27 and has dated a few ppl).

    I apologized to her on behalf of the male's in the world that she had not been with a guy that cared enough to get to know someone and think of others before themselves. I also went on to say that she deserved that kind of attention, and that brought a smile to her face.

    Ok..... sorry to be so long winded on that. But my question is this... are there really guys out there that are that big of jackasses that they don't even have the respect to at least pretend to be halfway intrested in anything more than sex???

    We continued our messing around after that discussion and I got her pretty worked up. It's pretty awesome when you know people's "spots".

    Is this just and odd situation or common??

    Will keep you posted on the progres.
    -Ryan
     
  2. mekkler

    mekkler New Member

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    Yes, many guys are that big of jackasses. This is probably what she assumed of you too, until you showed her otherwise.

    It's odd that you are both communicating intelligently about it.

    Keep it up. :)
     
  3. benderten2001

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    Thanks for sharing your story, Ryan.

    Apparently, there are MANY guys out there (dumb or not--who really knows, judging from their behavior!)....anyway, THOSE are the guys who make it difficult for the rest of us (sometimes) when we're out on a date. As men, we quite often simply do NOT know what a woman expects of us (or FROM us!) anymore. We can either be too aggressive or not aggressive enough. Either way, we men risk being labeled "loosers". (That's almost as bad as being too small! :mellow: )

    Sometimes, I allow my "old fashion values" to come forward in my posts here and it's going to happen again, I suppose. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't push the sex stuff right away. I hope my dates respect that. And I prefer to be the one to (become) the aggressor at the appropriate time, too. But even before it gets to that stage, I want to have the right "vibes" from her which indicate my intentions would be what she wants or, would welcome. It used to be called having "class" or, being a gentleman. Heaven only knows what it's called nowadays. I'm better off NOT knowing, probably. But, it's how I was raised and I can't change.
    And, btw--for the record, I don't want to change.

    I'm finding the dating game is quite confusing these days. Decent guys (meaning those who respect women and don't want to use or abuse them) seem to often find themselves "walking on egg-shells" so to speak. We simply don't know what to do or what's expected during the early stages of dating someone new. While we might very well know what's appropriate, will it though, be what SHE really wants or expects? :(
     
  4. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    There are many men out there that are not interested in more than sex and will often times pretend they are just to get it. Trust me it doesn't make it better when the guy pretends to be interested in you if he isn't. At least if you are aware he wants just sex you can go into the relationship with open eyes. Being burned in the past by guys like that does make it harder for the men who are real which may not be fair but that is how it is. I think if you are interested in her she will see that and get over being afraid. It just takes time.
     
  5. madame_zora

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    I agree wholeheartedly. If a guy is just interested in sex, he should just say so so you'll know what to expect. If he pretends to really like you then he doesn't call, that is just cruel. The problem is that most women aren't in touch with their sexuality enough to be interested in sex-only relationships, so some guys feel they have to lie to "get some". It's a shame, sex for it's own reward can be fun under the right circumstances, for people who can do it and not get hurt.
     
  6. Imported

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    SL55///AMG: Hey man, good for you for being one of the good guys... I have had those conversations before with some women.. There ARE lots of guys that just want ass.. Personally Im not about that... Im totally into the sensuality and the discoveries... so much fun. Over a period of time it makes you fonder of her and her fonder of you. I mean honestly I cannot determine whether or not I want a relationship with a girl until a few weeks or a couple of months... but once that test period has passed... lots of interesting fun/feel good things to experience with that person.
     
  7. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    "Good" guys are so hard to find. I wouldn't be surprised if most just copied me and curled into their little shell.
     
  8. Imported

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    wvalady1968:
    We don't want you to change either. Ever.
     
  9. Imported

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    wvalady1968:
    Their loss. Truly. Go for it, ya know?
     
  10. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    You've stolen my quote! (-ish).

    Blargh, if I am honest, I have "emotional needs" and "biological needs", but is it reasonable to care about people you actually would want to sleep with? I've never heard anyone actually mention that here.
     
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