Long story short... my ex and I were swingers. We introduced someone who was extremely endowed. I'm inclined to say his size here because not everyone, will believe me, so we'll leave it at a "rare" endowment. This fella and I talked for months before we actually got to play. We tried to meet a few times but unfortunate circumstances kept us from playing. However, despite that I was in love with my bf, the sexual attraction / chemistry / tension grew stronger between me and this fella.
Finally this past spring, we got to play twice, though both times I was blindfolded and was not allowed to touch him. I had the most amazing sex ever with him. This fella told me I was the best sex he ever had and he thought "This is how things are supposed to be." He was not able to enjoy a satisfying sex life with his past gfs, as they didn't have a high sex drive, and were not able to take his size with ease and for a long time. He would date women for 3 months and they still wouldn't be able to get him inside them or be able to handle him for more than 10-20 minutes, whereas, I was able to get him within the hour, and we both had sex for 3.5 hours the first time, and we wanted more.
The sex between my ex and I was affected greatly that I had a hard time staying wet, and kept thinking of the other fella. I still did enjoy the sex with my ex but my expectations had changed. We definitely did try to make the sex work, but it was already forever changed. The fella and I continued to talk for months, with our attraction for each other growing. We tried to stop talking to each other but couldn't deny this great sexual connection we had for each other. We felt that we had unfinished business. We talked about playing more, but the only thing that stopped me was my bf as he said I could not play with my playmate until I had his okay. So I had to respect that. The fella and I talked on MSN, like almost everyday about everything, including sex. I was basically very confused and trapped in a love triangle. I questioned whether I was in love with the cock or the person. The fella told me that he was falling in love with me, and wanted me as his long term girlfriend. It was just one big mess. My ex and I broke up a few times then got back together again, and tried to make things work. But things were just strained for months.
Anyway, last month, my ex and I broke up for good, and I think it was a tremendous relief for both of us, even though we still loved each other. I basically left him for the other guy. I could not deny my strong feelings for the other guy. And I could not wonder anymore.
I have not heard from the other guy in a month. I'm very confused and unsure how to explain his absence. It is hard to say if he is sick, got hurt at work or if something came up. I have emailed him twice, with no replies. I do not have his cell number, as we made a mutual agreement not to exchange numbers. We live on the same street, and I don't want to go over to his place (despite that I've never been there) and see if he is okay or such. It does sound a bit tempting to go over but I really do not want to look creepy at all. I don't know if he is trying to give me space, as I just broke up a month ago with my ex. I really wish he would at least email me just to say he's giving me space or to move on.
Regardless of such reasons, I don't get how he goes from telling me he's falling in love with me, and wants me as his gf and goes to such measures to try to win me over, then just disappear. He has not deleted me from MSN as privacy list shows that he still has me on it.
I hate all this wondering and if there is no chance of him and me, I would like that closure at least, if I have to move on. I am fully prepared that I may never get that closure (and that is probably is much harder than having that closure and moving on) Is it an usual habit for men to just up and cold turkey - give no reason, no explanation, no closure at all? Just walk away from the whole thing? If it is, it is the most cowardly thing to do.
I really don't care if anyone judge me. I have already been hard on myself about the whole thing, and being hard on myself is already enough.
So what should I do
Finally this past spring, we got to play twice, though both times I was blindfolded and was not allowed to touch him. I had the most amazing sex ever with him. This fella told me I was the best sex he ever had and he thought "This is how things are supposed to be." He was not able to enjoy a satisfying sex life with his past gfs, as they didn't have a high sex drive, and were not able to take his size with ease and for a long time. He would date women for 3 months and they still wouldn't be able to get him inside them or be able to handle him for more than 10-20 minutes, whereas, I was able to get him within the hour, and we both had sex for 3.5 hours the first time, and we wanted more.
The sex between my ex and I was affected greatly that I had a hard time staying wet, and kept thinking of the other fella. I still did enjoy the sex with my ex but my expectations had changed. We definitely did try to make the sex work, but it was already forever changed. The fella and I continued to talk for months, with our attraction for each other growing. We tried to stop talking to each other but couldn't deny this great sexual connection we had for each other. We felt that we had unfinished business. We talked about playing more, but the only thing that stopped me was my bf as he said I could not play with my playmate until I had his okay. So I had to respect that. The fella and I talked on MSN, like almost everyday about everything, including sex. I was basically very confused and trapped in a love triangle. I questioned whether I was in love with the cock or the person. The fella told me that he was falling in love with me, and wanted me as his long term girlfriend. It was just one big mess. My ex and I broke up a few times then got back together again, and tried to make things work. But things were just strained for months.
Anyway, last month, my ex and I broke up for good, and I think it was a tremendous relief for both of us, even though we still loved each other. I basically left him for the other guy. I could not deny my strong feelings for the other guy. And I could not wonder anymore.
I have not heard from the other guy in a month. I'm very confused and unsure how to explain his absence. It is hard to say if he is sick, got hurt at work or if something came up. I have emailed him twice, with no replies. I do not have his cell number, as we made a mutual agreement not to exchange numbers. We live on the same street, and I don't want to go over to his place (despite that I've never been there) and see if he is okay or such. It does sound a bit tempting to go over but I really do not want to look creepy at all. I don't know if he is trying to give me space, as I just broke up a month ago with my ex. I really wish he would at least email me just to say he's giving me space or to move on.
Regardless of such reasons, I don't get how he goes from telling me he's falling in love with me, and wants me as his gf and goes to such measures to try to win me over, then just disappear. He has not deleted me from MSN as privacy list shows that he still has me on it.
I hate all this wondering and if there is no chance of him and me, I would like that closure at least, if I have to move on. I am fully prepared that I may never get that closure (and that is probably is much harder than having that closure and moving on) Is it an usual habit for men to just up and cold turkey - give no reason, no explanation, no closure at all? Just walk away from the whole thing? If it is, it is the most cowardly thing to do.
I really don't care if anyone judge me. I have already been hard on myself about the whole thing, and being hard on myself is already enough.
So what should I do
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