eating disorders

[dolfette]

ok, i know this can be a men's issue too,
but it's so much more common in women.
obviously guys are welcome to contribute.

food and weight are such an issue these days...
from the sounds of it, my daughter's generation seem a lot more food/weight anxious than mine was at her age.

i've had food issues, on and off, all my life.
sometimes i'm fine for years,
then suddenly i'm not.

i'm almost 5'7''.
at my lightest i was just under 7 1/2 stone.

...it's not that i feel fat,
though i'll confess to feeling happier when i'm thin,
it's more that i find myself unable to face food.
i find it stressful.

i had thought i was well and truly over this,
until two weeks ago...
i've not eaten a meal for two weeks.

 

[EllieP]

Dolfette, that seems to be a common curse - I feel guilty eating anything. I'm not fat by any definition, and I love to eat. But I feel so bad when I indulge even slightly.

I hate my husband because he stuffs anything in that mouth and doesn't gain a pound. Last year he says "wow, I weigh 165 I need to lose weight." Asshole lost 30 pounds! I work my ass off every day to maintain my weight. I think I'm addicted to the gym, and I really mean that.

My daughter weighs 103 pounds and is very conscious of what she eats. Personally, I don't need to wear a size zero again, but I still keep 6s in my closet for inspiration.

I don't know what the answer is.

 

[ManofThunder]

I've never had any eating 'disorders', but have been concerned about weight in the past. In my case, it wasn't being fat that worried me, it was being too thin. I was very thin. In my child to teenage years I was ill. Believe it or not, I was roughly 6ft tall and weighed between 7-8 stone (98-112 pounds) at one point. During puberty, it is normal to gain weight. Due to my sickness, I vomited away all the natural weight I gained. So, remained a skeleton but continued to grow. I was a very fast runner and had plenty of stamina, but very little weight (fat or muscle). Scared and frustrated, I decided to draw-up a strict exercise plan for myself. I ate well (thank you, mother) and began my journey into fitness. I soon realised that with no weight left to lose, I built muscle easily. Within a few months, a small layer of muscle developed. I didn't desire muscle but needed the extra weight - I finally felt healthy and happy. Sadly, the vomiting eroded the muscle away quite quickly. I was angry at first, but soon realised that if it hadn't been for the muscle, I'd have been losing non-existent weight and seriously damaging my health. To cut a long, fairly boring story short, I continued to eat like a horse and exercise hard. It was a constant struggle of building muscle and losing it almost immediately. I won't discuss what was wrong with me, but it stayed with me until I was 17ish. I still grew up to be the tallest member of the family, but whether my growth was stunted by the illness, I'll never know.

If that experience taught me anything, it's that you can build something from nothing. It worries me when you say, "I've not eaten a meal for two weeks." I hope you are still eating something, Ms Dolfette. If you are concerned about your weight - exercise. I'm a strong believer in eating and exercising equally well. I'm an unusual case, but now that I'm well and gain weight normally, I find the exercise + food method is necessary. I'll explain what I mean. If you have no appetite - exercise. Feeling guilty or not, you'll soon listen to your hunger - a hard work-out will give you an appetite. If you feel worried about what you've eaten and gaining fat - exercise. It's a method of give and take that's healthy and actually works. Also, remember that the reading on a set of scales means nothing. You could be heavily muscled and weigh 12 stone, but according to the BMI, you're obese. (I know you don't feel fat, but, you're beautiful. There's no need to worry. Eat and be happy, lovely lady. :smile I know I'm simplifying the situation, I apologise for that. The problem is, as much as I'd love to delve into your psyche - I fear you wouldn't allow me access. :tongue:

 

[dolfette]

i already said, it's not about weight.
my weight is fine.
it's about food.
i'm not hungry.
food repulses me.

p.s. don't fucking patronise me!

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

This is a sensitive subject for me. I'll need time to think on this before responding. I can say that I do feel your pain. I love and hate food.

 

[MickeyLee]

sometimes food just weirds me out.
all the handling, the processing... i mean.. things can get on/in your food.
reading FDA allowances doesn't help.

sometimes it the texture, the smell, the look.
the idea of eating.. just mashed up food and spit.
bit stuck between your teeth... slow rotting.

sometimes i get mono foodie.
i wanna eat one thing, one thing only. for every meal.
after the mono-foodie jag passes.. i really must avoid the food at all cost.

sometimes i just don't feel like eating.
not hungry in the least.
meal replacement shakes are the awesome.

shopping is a whole other batch of twitch.

hmm a possible fix... natural foods.
self contained foods. like potatoes.
where you eat the whole thing.
sounds weird.. but complete food seems more like clean food.
fruit. is awesome. and you can wash it.

except figs. fig wasps have killed this fig season for me *sigh*

 

[ManofThunder]

i already said, it's not about weight.
my weight is fine.
it's about food.
i'm not hungry.
food repulses me.

p.s. don't fucking patronise me!

:tongue: I love you. I thought I'd give you (and everyone else reading the thread) the benefit of my irrelevant experience. :wink: I've had friends that couldn't face food and they found exercise a good way of needing food. For them, it broke the cycle. P.S. Eat me.

 

[dolfette]

the idea of eating.. just mashed up food and spit.

omg! yes!!
it sits in my mouth and i just cant bring myself to swallow. i find myself chewing on the same mouthful for what feels like hours.

 

[redz_rule]

...i've not eaten a meal for two weeks.

Oh Dolfette

I detest feeling hungry and find it difficult to understand how anyone abstains from eating as a means of comfort, or stress relief, or whatever the particular motivation (if anything I would be more likely to over indulge). Eating disorders are notoriously difficult to kick, but you seem to have a great deal of self awareness and I sincerely hope you get a grip of it again.

Is it food in general or just the idea of a 'proper meal'? Could you face soup, made the old fashioned way with home-made stock to make sure you are still getting nourishment and drinking it from a mug rather than sitting down to eat?

Aw, I just want to bring you home and feed you... but I don't think you've done anything bad enough to deserve my cooking ;p

 

[dolfette]

:tongue: I love you. I thought I'd give you (and everyone else reading the thread) the benefit of my irrelevant experience. :wink: I've had friends that couldn't face food and they found exercise a good way of needing food. For them, it broke the cycle. P.S. Eat me.

no, i'll work out till i drop and still can't face food.
the need is irrelevant.

i'm not hungry

 

[MickeyLee]

after taste is awful... those lil crumbs/bits.
anything oily *drinks water* just coats your mouth..
and is like the only thing you can smell *shudder*

doesn't it feel like being kinda contaminated?

 

[dolfette]

Is it food in general or just the idea of a 'proper meal'? Could you face soup, made the old fashioned way with home-made stock to make sure you are still getting nourishment and drinking it from a mug rather than sitting down to eat?

food. all food. soups, cereals, sauces, the lot.
i try to get a glass of vege juice, a protein shake and a piece of fruit throughout the day. in the evening i make a bigger effort... maybe a sandwich or a couple of slices of meat. everything is unpleasant though.

 

[dolfette]

after taste is awful... those lil crumbs/bits.
anything oily *drinks water* just coats your mouth..
and is like the only thing you can smell *shudder*

doesn't it feel like being kinda contaminated?

ha! you're a freak like me.

 

[ManofThunder]

no, i'll work out till i drop and still can't face food.
the need is irrelevant.

i'm not hungry

The 'mad' face strikes fear into my heart. I'll post in the thread again when I have a degree in Dolfette studies. Seriously though, I don't claim to know anything. You know best. I'm just bouncing silly ideas around. :smile: I think I'll go and post in the Funny Stuff area for a while. :tongue:

 

[dolfette]

The 'mad' face strikes fear into my heart. I'll post in the thread again when I have a degree in Dolfette studies. Seriously though, I don't claim to know anything. You know best. I'm just bouncing silly ideas around. :smile: I think I'll go and post in the Funny Stuff area for a while. :tongue:

coward!

picking on you was cheering me up.
you're a selfish bastard, aren't you!

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Dolfette, you have to get some nutrients in you. Scientifically your body breaks down without the necessary fuel it needs to survive. Lack thereof effects your muscles, brain, and your heart. MickeyLee has it right with the protein shakes. Many come with a daily supply of vitamins and minerals. I wish you good health.

 

[dolfette]

Dolfette, you have to get some nutrients in you. Scientifically your body breaks down without the necessary fuel it needs to survive. Lack thereof effects your muscles, brain, and your heart. MickeyLee has it right with the protein shakes. Many come with a daily supply of vitamins and minerals. I wish you good health.

oh, i'm rattling!
between the protien shake, the vege juice & the pills, the only thing i'm really lacking is bulk & calories. trouble is, aside from being a little tired, i feel great. it'd be so easy to tell myself that everything is fine.

two nights in a row i've had nightmares that i was eating crisps.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

oh, i'm rattling!
between the protien shake, the vege juice & the pills, the only thing i'm really lacking is bulk & calories. trouble is, aside from being a little tired, i feel great. it'd be so easy to tell myself that everything is fine.

two nights in a row i've had nightmares that i was eating crisps.

Thinking back, because you wrote you have a history of this, was/is there something that may be a trigger for this?

 

[dolfette]

stress!

 

[redz_rule]

food. all food. soups, cereals, sauces, the lot.
i try to get a glass of vege juice, a protein shake and a piece of fruit throughout the day. in the evening i make a bigger effort... maybe a sandwich or a couple of slices of meat. everything is unpleasant though.

Well you seem to be managing the situation pretty well, all things considered. It's weird but I had a similar attitude to food as a child. I had an ultra-sweet tooth but didn't like savoury food, or maybe just didn't like how it was cooked - I don't know. I would sit there at the table for hours chewing a tiny mouthful at a time (chicken was the worst because it was always so dry) trying to get away with leaving as much as possible.

This would infuriate my dad (a total foodie) who would rant and rave and wouldn't let me move until I had finished my meal. Eventually all mealtimes became stressful and I didn't enjoy anything. Looking back, I think the situation only improved when my mum started feeding my brother and I before my dad got home from work. I don't think I really enjoyed a meal until I was a teenager though.