edumicating the ignorant.

D_Rosalind Mussell

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Post-menopausal woman here that has been through almost everything mentioned and more. With that being said, I haven't had a period in 9 months and I don't miss it one iota. I do miss my ovaries though, as not having them causes a whole host of other issues. Vaginal dryness, dry skin, major mood fluctuations, sexual dysfunction. Basically, menopause can fuck right off.
 

dolfette

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Post-menopausal woman here that has been through almost everything mentioned and more. With that being said, I haven't had a period in 9 months and I don't miss it one iota. I do miss my ovaries though, as not having them causes a whole host of other issues. Vaginal dryness, dry skin, major mood fluctuations, sexual dysfunction. Basically, menopause can fuck right off.
that's a good one.
vaginal dryness.
no, it does not always mean you're not turned on.
likewise, vaginal moistness. there are points in my cycle where i'm dripping wet 24/7. it does not mean i'm turned on
 

dolfette

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vaginal juices.

here's the deal...
clear and stringy viscous? normal!
white and creamy? normal!
watery? normal!
it changes from day to day.
if it was clear and watery yesterday but it's single cream today, it does NOT mean she must have caught VD, shagged another guy, turned into some kind of freak.

the time to worry is if it's green, lumpy or stinky.
 

VernalTiger

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ligament loosening during pregnancy,

in order to enable our parts to stretch enough to pass a baby, our bodies release a chemical to loosen the ligaments.
sometimes this can be extreme enough to leave a woman unable to walk for the remainder of her pregnancy. it often leads to pain and discomfort, especially in the pelvic region.

I find this part of pregnancy so fascinating. Was it Petite who mentioned not being able to walk down the hallway without popping a hip or a back muscle? On the other end of the spectrum you have people like Jana Pittman/Rawlinson, an Australian Olympic hurdler who was still training up until THE DAY BEFORE SHE GAVE BIRTH. Obviously she was insanely fit beforehand, but I still find the dynamics and abilities of the human body fascinating.

Hormonally I'm a lot more stable than I was in my early 20s, despite being on BC the whole time. Thankfully I don't menstruate at all now (thanks to the implant), but I had to sit down and do the maths last week to check out why I had outrageously sensitive nipples and a rare craving for sweet things.
 

Intrigue

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Clumsy - that's what I get. I don't mean socially or emotionally, though that too sometimes, but physically clumsy - I turn into Stan fucking Laurel, dropping shit, banging my head, bending to pick something up and dropping something else out of a pocket as I bend... stepping in buckets. (OK, maybe not stepping in buckets.)

The immune system certainly takes a hit, big time.


I thought my wifes clumsy could be attributed to this, but alas she is like the albatross. Graceful when in flight, a disaster when landing. Poor girl is knocking into shit constantly. Thank god I know how to bandage heh.

If I figure out exactly when her cycle hits is it possible to boost her immune system to somehow counteract the symptoms of the period? Her sick + period = stressed out everybody.
 

Bravo55

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I understand that menopause can affect libido considerably but I never knew that the hormonal changes could result in the thought of sex being unpleasant.... Undesired but not necessarily unpleasant. I know women are diffferent so there is no one answer but is this a common effect?

Understanding this would help me react and respond to her better.

Thanks.
 

dolfette

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I understand that menopause can affect libido considerably but I never knew that the hormonal changes could result in the thought of sex being unpleasant.... Undesired but not necessarily unpleasant. I know women are different so there is no one answer but is this a common effect?

Understanding this would help me react and respond to her better.

Thanks.
for months after giving birth,
the thought of sex was just repulsive.

certain birth controls made men smell vile to me.
like, i could hurl if i hugged one.

men think women withhold sex out of spite.
i don't think that actually happens very often.
making the man you love feel unwanted sexually?
it actually hurts like hell. it's a fucking horrible guilt.

i think it's far more common than most women would ever admit. yet lots of sex lives die.
 

Bravo55

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I never thought my wife withheld sex for spite. Over the past year or so her libido has dropped significantly. If I thought she was not "in the mood" then maybe I would try to encourge a mood change. We have little episodes of intimate contact we call fleasing (flirting combined with teasing) almost daily so sometimes the mood will change. I also understand intimacy and sex are two related but separate things.

But if I thought sex, or the thought of sex, was unpleasant for her I would want to be more considerate and not press the issue often. I don't want her to do something unpleasant. I also know unpleasant has a spectrum from mildly unpleasant, which could be tolerable, to revolting... completely intolerable.

I appreciate the insights and advice of the women here so I was just looking for more information before I talk to her more...
 
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dolfette

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if she comes around to the idea after a bit of encouragement then, in my opinion, it's unlikely she finds it revolting.

she's fortunate to have such an understanding partner.
good for you!
 

ManlyBanisters

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I thought my wifes clumsy could be attributed to this, but alas she is like the albatross. Graceful when in flight, a disaster when landing. Poor girl is knocking into shit constantly. Thank god I know how to bandage heh.

If I figure out exactly when her cycle hits is it possible to boost her immune system to somehow counteract the symptoms of the period? Her sick + period = stressed out everybody.

My clumsiness kicks in a few days before I start menstruating, and carries on til about day 3 or 4. I know for sure I'm coming on when I start opening cupboard doors into my own face, knocking things over, backing into stuff in the store, etc.. While I'm no Margot Fonteyn the rest of the month I'm far less clumsy in general, which is why I think it is due to hormone levels changing. It seems to be a spatial awareness thing, my hand-eye coordination doesn't seem to suffer.

As for the immune system, I have been taking Vitamin D and Calcium supplements for over a year now. I started taking them because I read that they might help with mood swings. They did - they had an even more pronounced effect on breast soreness, reducing it dramatically. Since taking those supplements I find that a sniffle or sore throat around the time my period is due is no more likely to develop in to a full blown cold than it would at any other time in my cycle.
 
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Intrigue

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My clumsiness kicks in a few days before I start menstruating, and carries on til about day 3 or 4. I know for sure I'm coming on when I start opening cupboard doors into my own face, knocking things over, backing into stuff in the store, etc.. While I'm no Margot Fonteyn the rest of the month I'm far less clumsy in general, which is why I think it is due to hormone levels changing. It seems to be a spatial awareness thing, my hand-eye coordination doesn't seem to suffer.

As for the immune system, I have been taking Vitamin D and Calcium supplements for over a year now. I started taking them because I read that they might help with mood swings. They did - they had an even more pronounced effect on breast soreness, reducing it dramatically. Since taking those supplements I find that a sniffle or sore throat around the time my period is due is no more likely to develop in to a full blown cold than it would at any other time in my cycle.


She has/had a Vitamin D deficiency so she's already taking a ridiculous amount of that, plus some daily womens vitamins that include an extra healthy dose of Vitamin C. So besides that I'm just trying to increase leafy green intake of our whole family. So I guess I'm doing what I can for her immune system. Phew, good to know. I'm always wicked worried I'm missing something or some method to help. (Trying my hardest to reduce stress because it kills the libido and well, I don't want it dead... Lol. Not the only reason ofcourse, Just one of the top 5.)
 
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InsaneJester

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that's a good one.
vaginal dryness.
no, it does not always mean you're not turned on.
likewise, vaginal moistness. there are points in my cycle where i'm dripping wet 24/7. it does not mean i'm turned on

but does the times when you are wet correspond to times men are repulsive?

vaginal juices.

here's the deal...
clear and stringy viscous? normal!
white and creamy? normal!
watery? normal!
it changes from day to day.
if it was clear and watery yesterday but it's single cream today, it does NOT mean she must have caught VD, shagged another guy, turned into some kind of freak.

the time to worry is if it's green, lumpy or stinky.

in my experience, lumpy is always bad (pillows, beds, oatmeal, breasts, balls, peanut butter, etc)
 
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D_Rosalind Mussell

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that's a good one.
vaginal dryness.
no, it does not always mean you're not turned on.
likewise, vaginal moistness. there are points in my cycle where i'm dripping wet 24/7. it does not mean i'm turned on

Exactly, and vaginal dryness is no picnic. I can't take HRT so I have to be vigilant about using lubricant. Not only does the dryness actually hurt, it's a guaranteed gateway to a UTI for me.

I also haven't had much sex since my surgery. When I got the green light to have sex again it just plain hurt so my husband and I waited longer. I had it again and I got massively depressed because the sensations had changed. The lack of reproductive system put a spotlight on the sensations I most likely will never feel again and I fucking lost it. Sex has always been my escape, my happy place and suddenly when the bliss buttons were pushed I got nothing back. We tried sex again last week and it was better, so I'm hopeful. I am still very much interested in sex, but I'm not interested in being reduced to a blubbering mess if my own body disappoints me. Pre menopause I wouldn't have been so emotional but the circumstances surrounding my surgery were traumatic and I can only go the motions one day at a time. We play in other ways until I'm ready to try again. I'm 37, I'm too young to feel old (another lovely side effect of menopause and hysterectomy). I want to enjoy sex until I die and I'm willing to fight to keep that fire burning.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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if she comes around to the idea after a bit of encouragement then, in my opinion, it's unlikely she finds it revolting.

she's fortunate to have such an understanding partner.
good for you!

I agree. Having a patient and understanding partner has helps me greatly. If he had put pressure on me I wouldn't want to have sex with him. He is sensitive to the fact that menopause has put me physically and emotionally all over the map and that alone makes me want to touch him. Every time he shows me that level of regard I fall for him again. I don't have a perfect marriage by any stretch, we have plenty of problems, but we want to be together so we work at it. Even though my hormones have taken me on a hell ride, I'm still me underneath it all and I think it's important for husbands to understand that, too. We don't ask for the hormonal frenzy and most of us don't know how to handle it, but it helps to have a port in the storm and partners can be invaluable in that regard, not to mention how much that understanding deepens the relationship.