Eeek

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Knight-7x6, Sep 9, 2004.

  1. Knight-7x6

    Knight-7x6 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    295
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    England
    Here's the situation:

    I've been talking to this woman online, I really like her, she says she loves me :D she wants me to come down and see her tomorrow night for the whole weekend. It's a 72 pound and 6 hour journey with changes and lots of waiting for trains to arrive involved. Still, I could do that. She's 30 and I'm 18. Should I travel all that way to see her? I do want to see her but the distance is discouraging and I wouldn't like to be stranded out there if it all goes pear shaped. She thinks I'm not a virgin too, when I really am.

    Advice please, I'm really confused about what to do.
     
  2. malito

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    1,564
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Victoria (TX, US)
    Two words come to mind. Openness and honesty.
    Be open with her and honest.
    If all this is to rush out and lose your status as a virgin then really think about it. Is it worth all the trouble just to change what you can never recover??
     
  3. Knight-7x6

    Knight-7x6 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    295
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    England
    Its not for me to lose my virginity but she's said she wants sex with me, she has guaranteed it but doesn't know I'm a virgin...plus the distance, and I'm the kind of guy who would get lost switching trains...
     
  4. warmsunshine

    warmsunshine New Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2004
    Messages:
    215
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan...but also Louisiana some
    My advice? Don't do it. You don't know this woman from a hole in the wall.
     
  5. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Garibaldi Biscuit:
    You see, even though you're claiming one thing in that sentence the way you say it sounds like something else ( to me anyway ). 'She has guaranteed it', I'm not judging you but I would advise for you not to just dismiss Malito's comment out of hand, as your focussing on the sex and your own virginity implies that this is playing a very large part in it all.

    Forgetting that for a second, have you seen a picture of her? It sounds shallow, and if you're not concerned with looks but rather chemistry than I have the utmost respect for you, but if you are attaching sexuality to physical attraction ( as most of us unfortunatly do ) then this is something that could prove very awkward if you haven't considered it when and if you finally meet her.

    As for your virginity, if she really does 'love you' then she won't care about any of that, unless of course you've taken it too far and boasted of faked sexual experiences. It sounds to me like you're anxious, and understandably so, but if you can afford it and you really do feel for, and trust, this woman then the other mindset says you might have an unbelievable time.
     
  6. hungthick

    hungthick New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2004
    Messages:
    480
    Likes Received:
    0
    My thoughts are if you dont know this woman but want to lose your virginity to a stranger than do it because you dont have to see her again.

    I dont know how much 72 pounds is but 6 hours is not that long of a ride. i, too, get lost rather easily but the only way to learn is to just do it.

    One more word of advice; carry extra money and have a back up plan if she DOESNT meet you and she changes her mind. Or, if you change your mind have a back up plan.

    Oh, and if anything makes you uncomfortable, get up and leave. And, you dont owe anyone an explanation if you do chose to leave. :) :)
     
  7. lellelind

    lellelind Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2002
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sweden/Stockholm
    If you want to see her and if you have the time, go see her.
    You have nothing to loose but a few hours if she doesn't turn up.
    If she shows up you will hopefully loose your virginity to a mature woman that knows the ropes. She'll take care of you and she'll show you the right direction in bed. You will be a very proud man after that!
     
  8. lellelind

    lellelind Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2002
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sweden/Stockholm
    Tell her that you're a virgin! I'm sure she'll love you for telling that.
    You have to understand that you are "hot stuff" for a mature woman that wants to see young man. She knows what she wants and she is gonna show you!
     
  9. mindseye

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
    Messages:
    5,685
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Far be it for me to tell you what to do, but let me ask these questions:

    (1) If it was so easy for you to mislead her into thinking you weren't a virgin, how certain can you be that she's being honest with you?

    (2) If she's 30, and you're only 18, why are you the one who has to shell out £72 (hungthick: it's US$128) ?
     
  10. ponybilt

    ponybilt Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2004
    Messages:
    511
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago
    Geez.

    Sex isn't supposed to be so difficult. Nor expensive. :)

    I don't know you well enought o provide advice. If I was in the same situation, it'd have to feel right. Sounds perhaps like it doesn't feel quite right to you. Your appehension shows in your posts, for whatever reason (combo of getting lost, expense, and losing your virginity).

    If you go trough with it, I agree with having a backup plan. Maybe approach it as an adventure rather than simply a destination.

    If you don't go through with it, don't worry. It'll happen when it feels right for you.

    Good luck.
     
  11. Pappy

    Pappy Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2004
    Messages:
    2,416
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Outta Here
    I agree with pony. I would also ask myself if I really want to have my first be with a much older woman. Just be careful and definitely have an escape plan. Good luck!!
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    Be prepared to spend all that money and time to get to your destination only to be greeted by a snaggle-toothed, knock-kneed, gum-popping hag with her arms out in welcome yelling,

    "Oooooo! I'm a virgin, too, lover! Heee-haww heee-haww!"

    Save 'it' for a more romantic, more meaningful relationship. After all, the memory has to last a lifetime.
     
  13. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    yourclovergrl: Alright I may not be the norm of women and dont take this the wrong way Knight but I am only 28 and I have no desire or anything in common w/ or to be w/ an 18yr old. What does a 30 old? I mean seriously you cant go to a club/bar together. You cant just go and relax and have a drink, heck in the US you can just now vote. I just dont understand what someone that much older has in common w/ somone that much younger at those ages. I mean dont get me wrong I am not against older w/ younger but not at those ages. Get w/ someone who has more in common w/ you. Plus dont let your first time be w/ someone you dont even know if she washes her "stuff". People talk about looks, what happends if she looks great but she has such bad hygene you cant get w/in 10 feet of her w/out getting knocked out? If she is something special, wait, get to know eachother and move further along when she is older. I think that there might be some self esteem issues on her end if a 30yr old is saying shes in love w/ an 18yr old she has never met. Nothing personal just my advice.
     
  14. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Messages:
    5,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisiana
    You know, if sex is the main objective, a hooker would be cheaper, and if you don't like her company, the hooker won't follow you around afterwards.
     
  15. Knight-7x6

    Knight-7x6 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    295
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    England
    UPDATE: I didn't go. I'm a very anxious person and basically am scared of getting lost on the train. She waited at the station for me. By guaranteed, I meant she had arranged to have no visitors or anything for the whole weekend. I explained to her a series of events that caused my anxiety and she's okay with it. She is a very attractive woman btw but I like the way she thinks, we have a lot in common, are both messed up. It would be good to talk to her. I said I should come down when I can drive or when I get over my anxiety. It's all good now. Thanks for your advice guys.
     
  16. philberttrw

    philberttrw New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2004
    Messages:
    239
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlottesville, VA

    ...You made the right decision. Why doesn't a bloke like you have girls draping themselves all over you, anyways? I'm sure you have plenty of very pretty women right there in your town who'd be happy to date you and *possibly* further the relationship.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted