Effeminate gay men

[Blokeboy]

Yeah there is such a difference between the guy who has an effeminate emotional system vs. someone that needs constant attention to the point where they embarrass themselves to get it.

I feel the guy with an effeminate emotional system is usually best paired with the guy with a masculine emotional system. Emotionally- Ying/Yang . They learn from each other's strengths, instead of competing like the "twin" couples who mirror each other out of insecurity.

 

[boymonkey]

My advice: get over it. The same feelings are stirred in me when I have the misfortune of having to walk into a sports bar for some social obligation. But that said, I trust the original poster is aware that one will find nauseous over-acting and affected behavior in any scene just as much as he will encounter those who are enjoying themselves, unconcerned with what other uptight individuals might think of them. I hope he is not simply eager to confuse effeminacy and supposedly fey gestures with posturing, poseurs and bitchiness. True, it's clear he isn't bashing. But with all due respect, it would seem that despite his disclaimer about living and letting live, the "envelope" that he feels has been "pushed too far" is one stuffed with some pretty anachronistic assumptions.

 

[SpeedoMike]

Effeminate men never bothered me. However, LOUD effeminate men who have the need for attention and makes a scene - now that's annoying.

Having said that, I find straight men who have to be LOUD in a croud and make a scene,etc - that's just as annoying.

Agree... Every "group" has its behavioral turkeys! :tapedshut:

 

[dutchlplover]

I don't care at all if a guy is effeminate or butch. as far as I'm concerned they both are poses. I want to see past that facade what the guy is really like behind the mask. And it always intrigues me why someone needs a mask at all, but maybe that's beside the point.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

Sexually, I know I tend not to be attracted to more effeminate men. However, in social situations it's great to have them around. Some of my best friends are technically on the swishy side, and it's great to get together and let one's hair down once in a while.

With that said, there's a time & place for everything. I'm naturally the type to not camp it up if I'm in an area or scenario which doesn't call for it, especially if I'm in a part of town where ignorant people who don't have open minds would take offense. The last thing I need to be involved in is a fight because some idiot thinks I can be bullied about for talking or looking "faggy", for that channels the project ghetto persona out of me and all hell breaks loose.

Hmmmmm... maye I should change my name to Sybil.

 

[Mickactual]

I have mixed emotions about effeminate gay men.
On one hand, it perpetuates the stereotype - which is never a good thing.
On the other hand, it can be funny as hell. Swishiness is the major component of what we'll refer to here as "gay humour". ...And "La Cage" humour can be quite a hilarious.
Sexually and attraction-wise, however, it's another ballgame. I've turned to a puddle of goo at the sight of some truly gorgeous men...but then when they open their mouths and Carson Kressley comes out: pfffffttt - GONE! Nothing will turn my noodle limper or send me running for the hills faster than an effeminate guy.
I suppose this all explains my proclivity toward straight men (?)...

 

[Primal_Savage]

Like VinylBoy and a few other, I'm not attracted to more effeminate types, however, I do love teasing them. Example, if I'm in a T and 501's and maybe a bar, I can without much effort flex my pecs, triceps and biceps, and adjust my buldge, etc. while talking with them. Do it to a few clerks in clothing stores too. Perhaps that a little on the evil side, but if I don't know the guy I really like coming on real butch.

 

[saintedelephant]

I am not fem, nor do I find them attractive. Somtimes I think its them acting out in public, making a scene that can draw unwanted attention to the whole lifestye.

 

[Bbucko]

I am not fem, nor do I find them attractive. Somtimes I think its them acting out in public, making a scene that can draw unwanted attention to the whole lifestye.

You really think being gay is a "lifestyle"? I'm hardly the PC police, but there's a reason why we've favored "orientation" over "preference" or "lifestyle". One suggests an element of choice, the other suggests more of a hard-wired approach to being gay.

Knowing that I've never "chosen" to be gay (though I don't find it shameful, either), "lifestyle" just seems really...retro.

And I'd like to comment on people's distaste of flamboyant, effeminate men:

There's an underlying misogyny in this. It suggests that any (inherently superior) man who repudiates his gender by aping the mannerisms of (inherently inferior) woman is abdicating the responsibilities and prerogatives of manhood.

Sounds kinda 19th Century, non?

 

[Primal_Savage]

......There's an underlying misogyny in this. It suggests that any (inherently superior) man who repudiates his gender by aping the mannerisms of (inherently inferior) woman is abdicating the responsibilities and prerogatives of manhood.

Sounds kinda 19th Century, non?

Or an extension of Robin Morgan's ideas concerning the hatred of women... “Every organized patriarchal religion works overtime to contribute its own brand of misogyny”.

Deeply Perceptive as she might say. Can we just get back to our religious practices of penis worship. :biggrin1:

 

[Brendnj]

I hate when people speak of 'the gay lifestyle'. How's it different than 'the straight lifestyle"? I find effeminate gay people equally as annoying as the pseudo-butch overly compensating 'masculine' man that needs to include the words bro, dude and man in every sentence they speak in order to project their 'straightness'. Laughable, in both instances. Does it bother me? No. Live and let live.

 

[bentrim]

have any guys out there ever tried a fucking machine, as one that does the fucking when plugged in?

 

[Gnashin Teefe]

Don't do it for me i'm afraid but maybe that's because i'm bi. When i want feminine i have my wife. when i want a man i want him to be all male.

Boy does that ever express my feelings. It seems like today's PC culture is always pressuring me to suppress my more masculine characteristics to get along in this increasingly feminized world. When I want feminine, I have that all around me. That's one of the things that makes gay sex so appealing to me - the chance to revel in total masculinity with another male. Being with a swishy guy kinda defeats the whole purpose for me.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

I had a really effeminate gay man in my class two years ago and it was horrible. Man, I'm okey that you are gay, but please don't act like a screaming teenage girl. It's okey to be sensitive and carring, straight guys can do that too, but please act normal. You don't have to brag about being gay, that is not necessary. Be proud of who you are, but don't make a fool off yourself, pitty enough those gay men gives us a stereotypical image of other gay men.
Lucky for me I know LPSG and I know that that isn't true!
Sorry if I offend someone here.

 

[killerb]

What is your opinion of very effeminate gay men?

it depends on the guy & it depends on my mood at the time...
sometimes I find guys like that to be amusing...
other times I'm irritated by them...
but either way, they'd never know...

 

[heist]

It's one thing to be effeminate and quite another to be a bitch. (This is also why no one -- female or male -- should ever be called that unless they really are one.) And rudeness was never restricted to one type of person, either...

 

[KIKEMAN29]

Nothing wrong with them but personally if I want femininity I stick with girls, when I want a man I like them masculine.

 

[deleted213967]

Nothing wrong with them but personally if I want femininity I stick with girls, when I want a man I like them masculine.

Probably because there is a difference between sexual attraction and social attraction...The former is really really really hard to control.

 

[D_BarryBunwarmer]

I'm attracted to men who act like men. Fems are a turn off. If I wanted someone fem I would fuck a woman

 

[WellHung83]

Its hard to have an opinion about this without coming off as a complete asshole, but for me personally and ONLY me personally, I would much rather have a bloke be a bloke and a girl be a girl despite how degrading that may sound to those who are effeminate or butch in the eyes of others. At the same time though I would not want a bloke to be a complete jackass or the chick to be so full of herself and really girly ala Paris Hilton. For a bloke I want my Benjamin McKenzie or Cooper Cronk types and for the ladies I love me some Eliza Dushku or Emma Possum.