ejaculation problem

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by funkymonkey1983, Jul 1, 2010.

  1. funkymonkey1983

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    ok, so i don't know if i'm posting in the right place, this is the first time i've ever started a thread, so if not i'm sorry.

    But anyway, here goes ...

    I've been with my bf for 6 months now and we have sex regularly, and its almost all good, i'm starting to get used to taking his cock (which is the largest i've ever taken before), however, he's never been able to cum while fucking.

    He hasn't ever cum while he's been fucking someone or while being sucked off, only when he's jerked off.

    He says that he gets really close and can almost feel it, but he's never actually unloaded while fucking.

    I'm just wondering if anyone has any idea's as to things that could cause this or things that I could try to get him to cum while he is fucking me.

    We've tried not doing anything for a few days, all different things that he likes and what not, we've even tried him jerking off a bit before he slides back in to cum (which he can do now) but its not the same...

    I'd be grateful for any suggestions or helpful comments

    Thanks :)
     
  2. helgaleena

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    This might belong in the other forum, in which case the mods will move it. Sounds like a problem some males have from jacking off with intense pressure not achievable by the human orifices. It happens to hetero and gay both. He's going to have to get used to less intense stimulus for his orgasm. Possibly doing more touching of the rest of his body for pleasure, massages, etc, will relax him and take the focus off that one sensation.
     
  3. funkymonkey1983

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    Hi :) thanks for the response :)

    So you think it could be where he's used to jerking off a specific way?

    I can understand that, we do loads of touching and stuff before hand and there is loads of foreplay etc, but maybe give his cock less attention?

    Thanks again :)
     
  4. Red8x6

    Red8x6 New Member

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    Have him go a few days, or maybe a week, without cumming. That will likely solve the problem, as he will have more sensation in his cock. Alas, I too am familiar with the Plight of the Circumcised.
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    Could there be some kind of mental block against coming in an orifice?
     
  6. JF

    JF
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    Moved from 'Relationships' forum.
     
  7. danjs584

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    It's probably psychological and the longer the problem lasts the worse it will get. He probably expects not to be able to cum so when he starts to feel close he starts thinking about it too much and then isn't able to. I think the main thing is getting him to relax and not focus on an orgasm and then it will probably happen on its own.
     
  8. funkymonkey1983

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    he's not circumsised and we've tried 10 days without anything ... that didn't help, just gave him sore balls lol ...

    i don't know how to get him to not focus on the orgasm tho

    thanks for the help everyone :)
     
  9. helgaleena

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    Get a feather boa or some satin and sensitize his entire body with it. Tickle him! Give him warm soaks in the tub. Massage his feet and hands. Relaxation is not necessarily sexual, but it can get that way. :wink:
     
  10. danjs584

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    try actually saying that you aren't trying to get him to cum and just want him to enjoy the pleasure you give each other
     
  11. funkymonkey1983

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    we've tried that - he was very close to it last night - but our housemate came home drunk and make a load of noise and put him off ... he wasn't thinking about cumming just keeping the rhythm :) i'm grateful for everyone's help on this :)
     
  12. legna

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    Dude, the best thing you can probably do to change the situation is to not focus so much attention on it. Don't be so concerned about whether your bf can cum while fucking or being sucked. Sometimes that added psychological pressure that comes from expectations being put on you to cum (or not to cum) at a particular time or in a particular way just stirs up anxiety and adds to the inability to relax and just enjoy the pleasure of the moment. Let him cum any way he can without feeling like he's let you down in some way.
     
  13. SpeedoMike

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    too much pressure on the penis after insertion? adequate lube? I find having lots of lube helps. my penis doesn't want to cum until the head/corona is nearly pulled out. I can feel it happening because of the stimulation just behind the head.
     
  14. funkymonkey1983

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    thanks :) again guys :) we are still going for it, i'm always telling him that its not important, and trying to ease his mind. Again i'm really grateful for any help you can give and have already given :D
     
  15. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    My ex had this problem. We were together four years and I can probably count on my fingers how often he came from sex. Apparently before me he had never cum during sex at all. I think he had psychological issues. A bit of Catholic guilt mixed with fear of losing control in front of someone else.

    Sorry I can't offer any real help. I hope it all works out for you.
     
  16. hughgr

    hughgr New Member

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    hey - may be chemical - i was on Cymbalta for a while and it led to anorgasmia (which is one of the lesser-advertised side effects). Came off the cymbalta and came all over the place. FYI, this anti-depressant also has some similarities to cocaine, so read up on it, and other drugs that could be the issue. Good luck
     
  17. horneyoldguy

    horneyoldguy New Member

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    I have a similar problem when fucking my wife sometimes I can't cum so I lay back and let her play with my balls and nipples while I jack off. It doesn't often happen but when it does there are no recriminations just adjustments so we each reach sexual pleasure.

    My urologist says it is because the plumbing has been used so often that it just, sometimes, gets cranky.
     
    #17 horneyoldguy, Jul 5, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2010
  18. Stephenmass

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    The only other thing I can add to this whole thing is I agree that his dick may need more stimulation (aka friction) while inside of you. When he pushes in you relax everything inside so it's easy to get in and as he pulls out for another thrust, you squeeze so more pressure is applied to his penis. Do this as repeatedly as your muscles down there can handle. If he still doesn't, I wouldn't even worry about it or bring it up to him. Forget about it for awhile (you can still have sex of course) but do not make any mention of his not cumming at all, etc. If he is wearing a rubber that can be desensitizing also (I am NOT advocating bareback) but it's quite possible that you can buy a thinner and still safe condom. If he doesn't seem to mind not cumming, than don't make any issue whatsoever. Also, there is no law that says he can't fuck you for awhile and pull out and let you stroke him until he is right on the edge and then have him put it back in. Be creative. But be creative silently...don't let him know you are doing whatever to make him cum as someone above said...the more pressure you put on him to cum, the more he thinks about it and the more likely it is he will overthink it. Once he overthinks, I agree with a poster above it makes it even tougher.
     
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