Elderly Sex.....

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Aug 8, 2006.

  1. jakeatolla

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    ELDERLY SEX

    An elderly couple, who were both widowed,
    had been going out with each other for a
    long time.

    Urged on by their friends, they decided
    it was finally time to get married.

    Before the wedding, they went out to dinner
    and had a long conversation regarding how
    their marriage might work.

    They discussed finances, living arrangements
    and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided
    it was time to broach the subject of their
    physical relationship. "How do you feel about
    sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.

    "Well," she said, responding very carefully,
    "I'd have to say, I would like it infrequently."

    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment,
    then, looking over his glasses, he casually
    asked, "Is that one word or two words?"
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    OLD PEOPLE have sex?
     
  3. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Yes, but we use our walkers as sex toys.
     
  4. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    jakeatolla:

    LOL. That's a good one. I must admit that the thought of 70 and/or 80 year old men and women having sex is a bit disturbing.

    But I do say, god bless 'em. If we live long enough, one day that will be each and every one of us.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  5. Heather LouAnna

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    Shush now! Fifty isn't OLD!
     
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  6. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    :love: :love: :love:
    How do you like my avatar, Heather? I chose it thinking of you (Or did I guess wrong and you don't like Hunter Thompson?).
     
  7. Heather LouAnna

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    I've never read any of his books personally, but I've watched a couple movies and I read his wikipedia description, so now I'm an expert.

    What exactly are you a teacher of, Mr. COLJohn?
     
  8. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    And we also use our Metamucil as an aphrodesiac.
     
  9. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Not yet a teacher, Heather. Right now I am finishing my army career; will begin tecahing English in a few weeks.
     
  10. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Yes, and it's great lube, too.
     
  11. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Tsk, our vintage fornicators on this side of the pond have to make do with mashed potato as lube. :rolleyes:
     
  12. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Probably better than sauerkraut, which leaves a nasty aftertaste. Too, I prefer not getting gassy from my lube.

    To answer the original poster's question, I don't consider myself old yet, but I have noticed a strange attitude among my older office mates, who often joke that they don't have sex and don't care. According to my grandparents who came to America from Scandanavia, the attitude about aging there was much healthier. There are a few mature posters here who do have great attitudes, though, and live sexually active lives. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, but I don't plan going gently into that particular good night.
     
  13. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    The bus from the home doesn't pass by the WALMART, so we have to use our lumpy oatmeal as a comparable substitute for KY.:biggrin1:
     
  14. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    hadn't thought of that, Chuck. And it comes in flavors, too. It takes a lot of lube, you know, to get that walker slick.
     
  15. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    For all that, we coulda just belted the young punk in the cafeteria for a loop and just "borrowed" his cooking oil.:biggrin1: :rolleyes:
     
  16. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    And maybe a few kitchen implements.
     
  17. dengia

    dengia Member

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    what's this topic' aim.
    Anyway I love old people doing sex...
     
  18. basque9

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    Your tongue in cheek satire is duly noted Karmen!...and so is most of the other drivel being espoused by enlightened LPSG members who should know better than make these insulting comments about older generations...many of us glow beautifully into our senior years! We do not need your unbridled sarcasm and maturphobia. Remember that truth lies in the specifics and not in generalities!

    I ask, no, I challenge any of you younger studs to perform in a competition against me comparing: vitality, sex drive, sexual prowess, attractiveness, fitness, body beautiful, cock length and girth and general allure to men and women of all ages! You might beat me in one or maybe two of those categories, but I would be the real winner in everyone's eyes for stacking up so well against you!

    I make no apology for a lifetime of sexual pleasure and sometimes sexual excess and I carry my handsome cock and physique and my 73 years just as proudly as I did 50 years ago as a young cockster setting out to best the whole world!:tongue:
     
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  19. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    I don't see a single comment on this thread which isn't clearly tongue-in-cheek.
     
  20. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    just steer clear of anything sharp.
     
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