A childhood of daily mental abuse is what did it for me. I can go for months without talking, years without friends, and an entire lifetime without any sort of emotional or physical bond to someone. Even as I get closer to 40, I still can't look someone in the eye without it creeping-me-the-hell-out.the only people who get a free pass are those with a bit of a defect...psychos and some people on the autistic spectrum.
Try growing up as the youngest in a step-family with 6 kids (3-12 years older), an alcoholic father and his bitch wife. In EVERY situation it was always 6 against 1. Always the 5 other kids plus the bitch against me. Daily bullying by any or all of them really fucks with the mind of a pre-schooler.
Growing up in a family like that is one way killers are made...either "of themselves" or "of other people." I tried the former. Who knew it was possible to overdose an overdose? I sure didn't.
Hi Wally,
Sounds like you got a case of the fragile ego. I suggest you take a trip to the slums of a third world city of your choice. Mexico City maybe, or the favelas of Sao Paolo. If you have cash, try to make it out to Johanesburg or Cairo.
Seeing the lives that some of those folks lead on a daily basis will put some asshole laughing at the size of your cock in its relative place of importance.
Not into dodging kidnappers and carjackers? Do Big Brothers Big Sisters. Help teach a kid from the hood how to read and dramatically improve his or her chance of escaping the poverty cycle that has trapped most of his/her family for generations.
Open yourself to the bigness of the world, and you'll find that "losing social status" in the eyes of some jackass (and, let's face it, most people are a bundle of poor life decisions and self-loathing...what makes their estimation of you worth anything?) is like a raindrop on a duck's back.
A childhood of daily mental abuse is what did it for me. I can go for months without talking, years without friends, and an entire lifetime without any sort of emotional or physical bond to someone. Even as I get closer to 40, I still can't look someone in the eye without it creeping-me-the-hell-out.
Absolutely, absolutely. That's the first condition of becoming intimate.When you're intimate with someone, this is from my experience, you lower your defenses and let someone be close to you. When you have this kind of closeness, the other person can see your weaknesses. Weaknesses that weren't so apparent before you two were intimate.
Wally, if you spend your life avoiding people, you will certainly not have high social value. If anything, you will be considered an unfortunate case. Receiving the compassion of other people will be your highest possible attainment.Once your weaknesses have been revealed, you are in a bad position. What if after your intimate moment, your partner decides to blab about something you told him/her? Or about the details of your body? You will find your value radically decreased! Possibly, a person of high social value, could have their intimate secrets revealed and drop all the way down to a person of low social value or maybe even be declared defective.
Well, how many "physically and mentally perfect" peeps have you met?Unless you are physically and mentally perfect with no skeletons in your closet at all, intimacy is a mistake. The danger is just too great.
You know what ... I think a regular massage would be a great help.or, if you've got the cash, would a regular massage work?
Love that Hhuck.
Einstein once referred to our sense of separateness being a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.
I like that.
I actually DID find happiness. I even found "the one." Unfortunately, I also lost her. I made a vow to myself: never again. That was 15 years ago. No desire or inclination to go through that again.I hope that your life has improved and you've found some peace and happiness.
I've recently realized that I have a desire to be intimate with people. Now by intimate I mean non-sexual physical and emotional intimacy. Stuff like cuddling and talking about personal things.
I don't like this desire. I don't like the idea of intimacy at all. Being that open to another human being is a recipe for disaster, IMO. It's something that should be avoided when possible.
So that brings me to my question, how do I get rid of this desire? How do I make myself not want to be intimate?
I actually DID find happiness. I even found "the one." Unfortunately, I also lost her. I made a vow to myself: never again. That was 15 years ago. No desire or inclination to go through that again.
Einstein once referred to our sense of separateness being a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.