Embarassing problem

[KidBrown]

Ok, I'm half expecting sarcastic responses to this one, but whatever. Anyway, I'm usually just fine in bed with my girlfriend when it comes to getting aroused to the point where we can physically have sex, but here's the problem. I'm used to getting strong erections, and that doesn't seem to be happening anymore. It seems like I'm always "75 percent aroused" instead of being rock solid.

Now she hasn't said anything negative about this, but it really could be bothering her. I know she's getting off when we have sex because she's ultra sensitive and it doesn't take much to make her climax. However, I'm really starting to worry about this, and in turn, the problem seems to be getting worse. Last week we were about to have sex, I put the condom on and pretty much went limp. I felt awful because I lied to my girlfriend and told her I felt sick......man, this really sucks.

Anyway, I quit smoking some time ago, I'm in the best physical shape of my life, and I'm still pretty young. Yes, I am still able to have sex, but it doesn't feel nearly as good as it used to when I could get fully aroused. I haven't been masturbating to excess either, so I don't know what could be wrong.

Please, if you have any advice, kind words, or whatever, post them here. If there are any possible solutions to this problem medically (herbal suppliments, etc) please let me know. I really don't want to go to a doctor about this, I would be very embarrased to have to seek help at such a young age.

 

[Matthew]

Question for you KB, do you have the same problems with erection when you masturbate?

Originally posted by KidBrown@Oct 25 2005, 06:15 PM
Please, if you have any advice, kind words, or whatever, post them here. If there are any possible solutions to this problem medically (herbal suppliments, etc) please let me know. I really don't want to go to a doctor about this, I would be very embarrased to have to seek help at such a young age.

[post=355290]Quoted post[/post]​

If you do, I think it's important to speak to a doctor about it and get their feedback. It may seem embarrassing, but doctors are used to questions like this (it is their job after all). A few moments of embarrassment will be well worth it if you find our how to solve the problem or discover another health issue which needs to be taken care of.

If you don't have the same problems when you masturbate, it could be a psychological issue -- one of the major causes of erectile dysfunction aka boner problems. Either way, take some action -- this is undertandably stressing you out, and continuing to wait, wonder and suffer will be miserable.

 

[KidBrown]

No, that's the weird thing, I don't have a problem at all when I'm "by myself". I still get random erections during the day, at night, and ones that border on painful when I first wake up. I've had this same problem before the very first time I've had sex with a partner, but I attributed that to nerves I suppose. I hadn't had this problem with my girlfriend before, so it boggles my mind as to why it's occuring now. This may sound a little gross/sick, but the only time I can keep a really strong erection is when my girlfriend licks my nipples for a bit.....and I think she's getting weirded out by that constant request.

The only other thing I can think of is that I'm being tested for diabetes now since it runs in my family and I'm showing tell-tale symptoms (being very thirsty all the time, weight loss without a change in diet/excercise, feeling tired all the time, etc). However, I wouldn't think this would have sexual side effects, and if it could, wouldn't I have problems getting an erection period (as in I wouldn't be able to get one at all)?

This seems weird, but this is one of the few places I feel comfortable discussing this issue. I mentioned it to one of my close friends and he said that "it sounds really weird, and he's never had a problem maintaining a hard-on". So that made me feel even worse. There's something about the anonymity of this place that makes it easier for me to talk about this sort of thing. Even if nobody offers up advice, at least I often get a kind word here or there without the pressure and awkwardness of talking to one of my friends face to face.

 

[Ineligible]

Originally posted by KidBrown@Oct 26 2005, 02:44 AM
The only other thing I can think of is that I'm being tested for diabetes now since it runs in my family and I'm showing tell-tale symptoms (being very thirsty all the time, weight loss without a change in diet/excercise, feeling tired all the time, etc). However, I wouldn't think this would have sexual side effects, and if it could, wouldn't I have problems getting an erection period (as in I wouldn't be able to get one at all)?

[post=355305]Quoted post[/post]​

This is significant. Diabetes can restrict blood flow in the extremities, and sometimes erection difficulties are the first sign of it. It doesn't necessarily shut down erection at all, just makes it more difficult.

When you get the diabetes under control, you may find the problem goes away.

 

[Matthew]

Originally posted by Ineligible+Oct 25 2005, 09:29 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ineligible &#064; Oct 25 2005, 09:29 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>When you get the diabetes under control, you may find the problem goes away.

[post=355344]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b]

Well, I&#39;m not a doctor, although I do play one on TV. But it seems like if it was a health issue like that, the erection problems would happen all the time, not just when he&#39;s with his girlfriend.
<!--QuoteBegin-KidBrown@Oct 25 2005, 07:44 PM
No, that&#39;s the weird thing, I don&#39;t have a problem at all when I&#39;m "by myself". I still get random erections during the day, at night, and ones that border on painful when I first wake up. I&#39;ve had this same problem before the very first time I&#39;ve had sex with a partner, but I attributed that to nerves I suppose. I hadn&#39;t had this problem with my girlfriend before, so it boggles my mind as to why it&#39;s occuring now. This may sound a little gross/sick, but the only time I can keep a really strong erection is when my girlfriend licks my nipples for a bit.....and I think she&#39;s getting weirded out by that constant request. [/quote]
My spider sense tells me this is where the issue is. If I were you, I&#39;d search my feelings about intimacy with my girlfriend and how our sexual openness and communication were. I think it&#39;s significant that you feel some discomfort about asking for something that gets you really hot and hard in bed. "Gross/sick," and you "think she&#39;s weirded out." To me those are red flags of deeper issues. Your number one sex organ is your brain, and it can affect your dick in ways you&#39;re not consciously aware of, especially if not everything is out in the open. Nipple licking is hot, dude. My guess is that the solution lies in some real talking with her about your desires, and maybe your fears too, to help deepen the intimacy. If that sounds problematic, a therapist&#39;s feedback could potentially be very useful.

 

[GoneA]

Much against your wishes, I really do think that you should see a doctor. The "anonymity" of discussion forums and "a kind word here or there” which comes along with it are good - but not exhaustively helpful. A doctor is the person you really want to see; especially since the prospect of you being diabetic has been factored into the equation.

More to the point, there are so many things that could be wrong, with what you described; it&#39;s any man&#39;s guess. You need the hard and fast facts that can, really, only come from a medical professional.

 

[deepdick]

This is as much for all than for our 23 year old here - though its probably been discussed here before. I&#39;ve heard most large men can have this problem eventually - sometimes earlier than most since we are talking about more real estate.

I started having this problem around 50 <sigh> and saw a urologist. The usual pills were not the reliable solution I wanted them to be so I opted for injection. Believe me, it&#39;s not a big deal - or rather it is&#33;

Bi-Mix, which I have, or the stronger Tri-Mix, is a mixture of erectile drugs you inject with an insulin (VERY thin, small) into the base of your dick, away from vasculature and nerves, about 2 o&#39;clock position. It&#39;s usually a very small amount, like .5 ml. One vial will cost you about &#036;100 and last you months and months. A lot cheaper than the pills.

It works in about 15 mins and will make you rock hard for hours. Really. It&#39;s amazing stuff. Now, of course, if you have a woody for more than four hours you probably took too much and need to pop a few Sudafed to reverse the effects. In about 30 mins you&#39;ll shrink to a nice semi that you&#39;ll have for a couple more hours.

So, uncomfortable about needles in the pecker? The needle is about the width of a hair and 1/2 inch long. We&#39;ve subjected our junk top more pain while having fun than you&#39;ll ever feel from this tiny prick. (pardon the pun)

 

[hippyscum]

But d&#39;you really think the guy should be doing that at 23? I think he should try and see if there&#39;s a problem that a doctor can solve - something natural, without resorting to injecting god-knows-what into his dick. As for the embarassment issue, fuck it, there&#39;s always someone who&#39;s had a more embarassing ailment that day... at least that&#39;s how I consoled myself after that hoover incident.

 

[robertomuro]

Originally posted by hippyscum@Oct 27 2005, 01:54 AM
But d&#39;you really think the guy should be doing that at 23? I think he should try and see if there&#39;s a problem that a doctor can solve - something natural, without resorting to injecting god-knows-what into his dick. As for the embarassment issue, fuck it, there&#39;s always someone who&#39;s had a more embarassing ailment that day... at least that&#39;s how I consoled myself after that hoover incident.

[post=355622]Quoted post[/post]​

Agreed.

 

[KidBrown]

Well what&#39;s worked recently is kind of weird, but hopefully it&#39;ll keep doing its job. What I&#39;ve been doing is masturbating to almost the point of "completion" and then stopping. I try and do this when I get off of work, and then I&#39;ll go see my girlfriend a few hours later. At that point, I&#39;m so ready to go that I don&#39;t have any problems at all. However, this isn&#39;t the sort of routine I&#39;d want to keep resporting to, you know?

I just bought a bottle of ginseng, because I&#39;ve heard that it might help, and if not, it shouldn&#39;t do any harm. I&#39;m also going to start taking a multi-vitamin every day, but I have a feeling it really might be something mental. This scares me almost more than there being a physical problem, because I don&#39;t know what&#39;s ailing me (if that makes any sense, hopefully it does). She&#39;s one of two women I&#39;ve ever really fallen for so quickly, our personalities mesh so well, and I&#39;m very attracted to her physically. I just can&#39;t stand not being around her, and it hurts my pride and emotional well-being when I have trouble performing to the best of my abilities.

Does anyone know if there are people to talk to that specialize in this sort of field? Like professionals that deal with mental issues pertaining to sex? If there are, and they are quite confidential (meaning I don&#39;t want to walk into a building that has a sign reading "erectile dysfunction shrink", haha) then I would like to visit one of them sometime soon. I was thinking about sharing my concerns with my girlfriend as well, and maybe she could come with me to put my mind at ease some more. However, I&#39;m a bit worried about what her reaction would be. "Hey honey, come see a doc with me about the ol&#39; half-hard dick issue".......seems like it could be embarassing for her too.

 

[photox]

Originally posted by Matthew+Oct 25 2005, 09:22 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Matthew &#064; Oct 25 2005, 09:22 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>Question for you KB, do you have the same problems with erection when you masturbate?

<!--QuoteBegin-KidBrown@Oct 25 2005, 06:15 PM
Please, if you have any advice, kind words, or whatever, post them here. If there are any possible solutions to this problem medically (herbal suppliments, etc) please let me know. I really don&#39;t want to go to a doctor about this, I would be very embarrased to have to seek help at such a young age.

[post=355290]Quoted post[/post]​

If you do, I think it&#39;s important to speak to a doctor about it and get their feedback. It may seem embarrassing, but doctors are used to questions like this (it is their job after all). A few moments of embarrassment will be well worth it if you find our how to solve the problem or discover another health issue which needs to be taken care of.

If you don&#39;t have the same problems when you masturbate, it could be a psychological issue -- one of the major causes of erectile dysfunction aka boner problems. Either way, take some action -- this is undertandably stressing you out, and continuing to wait, wonder and suffer will be miserable.

[post=355299]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

Dear KB,

Sounds like a psychological thing, but you shouldn&#39;t be intimidated by the thought of getting it checked out medically. The fact that you&#39;re your normal self when you masturbate leads me to believe that there&#39;s something other than physiological behind this. I&#39;m a mid-fifties guy with a great libido and a unit I&#39;d put up against most (that didn&#39;t come out right&#33;?). I&#39;m in good shape, been married for 35 years to my high school sweatheart. I&#39;ve been experiencing the exact same syndrome. I&#39;m as attracted to my wife as the day I met her but she doesn&#39;t have much of a sex drive and I think it has finally caught up with me. She thinks it&#39;s just my age, but I know that in any other circumsatnce I can get as hard as I could when I was 20 and come five times a day. In fact I can do it just thinking about her and how attracted I am to her. I&#39;ve gently attempted to discuss this with her, but you can imagine how difficult it would be to word that properly and not end up with someon&#39;s feelings trashed. In my situation, there&#39;s a lot more to our marraige than sex so I guess this will just be a part of my life that will be a little lacking. There are so many things, work stress, familiarity with your partner (read boredom), even antihistamines that can affect it. It seems with guys, once you have the problem a few times, you can perpetuate it just by being worried you&#39;re going to have it again. Give it some time.

Regards,

Photox

 

[Matthew]

Hi KB, I was hoping you would get a few more replies, because I&#39;m no expert but let me say this, agreeing with much of what was said above:

1) Go ahead and get checked out for diabetes or other potential physical causes so that you can rule them out.

2) If it is a psychological thing, please don&#39;t be intimidated to talk to a therapist. I don&#39;t think it should take a specialist, but if the therapist thinks it does, they can refer you. The most important thing is that you pick a person you can feel comfortable talking to. And remember, it may seem terribly embarrassing and awkward to talk about, but from the therapist&#39;s point of view it will seem tame and normal to them. Think about some of the stuff they must listen to everyday ...

3) What the last writer said is really true. Our dick responds to our brain, and stress and worry can definitely affect erections. Taking some of the pressure off yourself may have a positive effect in and of itself. But if it doesn&#39;t, don&#39;t be shy to get help. Mental or physical, the problem can be solved and you&#39;ll feel better with it behind you.

 

[KidBrown]

Seriously, thanks a lot for the replies, it&#39;s always good to get input around here.

Anyway, I&#39;m so glad to have an understanding partner that cares about me enough to deal with my problems. My girlfriend gave me a massage the other day, and that helped so much that I was just dying to have sex. It sounded great to have her say "wow, that was amazing" again, I felt like I was the king of the world, haha. Now obviously she&#39;s not going to want to give me a massage every time we have sex, but still.

I really think it&#39;s a mental thing, it&#39;s weird but having the TV on in the background has helped a lot too. I think my mind is just stuck on the past experiences of not being able to maintain a full erection, and harping on the fact didn&#39;t help at all. Maybe it&#39;s the backgrond noise of the TV, or just having something to take my mind off sex, but yeah.....I feel much better. Also, having my girlfriend put the condom on me seems to help a lot too.....she uses her mouth somehow, I get so turned on seeing it that I forget about my problems, haha.

You guys rock, thanks for the understanding comments. If any of y&#39;all need advice or just someone to talk to, feel free to PM me any time. Just no sexual connotations, ok? I&#39;m not on here trying to find a person to fuck, so if I get any messages pertaining to that subject I will not be a happy person to deal with.

 

[B_horribleperson56]

when i dont get rock hard its because my mind is someplace else, im thinking about school or work or that butterfly outside the window. its going to be hard to do but you have to not thing about your erection problem. you have to find your happy thought. that one miage in your mind that makes you horny as hell.
if you have trouble with that then try having your girl suck on your balls (always works for me) or have her dry hump you

 

[Mattness]

I swear by this stuff&#33; If you take two capsules, in a half an hour your cock will be hard enough to help them hammer nails into boards at a construction site. I usually only take one capsule before wanting to shoot a huge load and have a ROCK hard cock and very intense orgasms.

http://www.nutraceutical.com/search/view_p...oduct_index=808

If you&#39;re interested, you can get it at most health food stores.

 

[GoneA]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(horribleperson56 &#064; Nov 4 2005, 03&#58;24 PM) [post=358199]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
you have to find your happy thought.
[/b][/quote]


it helped peter pan to fly...i&#39;m sure it can help you.

 

[Multipass]

I really think it's a mental thing, it's weird but having the TV on in the background has helped a lot too. I think my mind is just stuck on the past experiences of not being able to maintain a full erection, and harping on the fact didn't help at all. Maybe it's the backgrond noise of the TV, or just having something to take my mind off sex, but yeah.....I feel much better. Also, having my girlfriend put the condom on me seems to help a lot too.....she uses her mouth somehow, I get so turned on seeing it that I forget about my problems, haha.

Hey man! I've been having that exact problem! I know exactly where you're comming from. I have sort of cured myself from this problem, it only comes back once a month or so, I know I'm making good progress.

Like you I can get rock hard when masturbating, in public, etc. My problem was that I couldn't get hard with my g/f sometimes or I would lose my erection during sex. Strangest thing was, that me and my girl split up for the summer and with this other girl I was a rock again! Then I came back to my old girl and while things were rock solid for a while the same erection loss came up again.

What others have been saying about it being a mental game is bang on. I noticed something: the ONLY times i had a problem getting an erection was when i was THINKING about how i might not get one. I sat myself down, smoked a joint, and realized that I was still perfectly capable of maintaining an erection. You gotta believe in yourself, you know you can get hard, your mind is just blocking you. With me it all started because I got whisky dick one night and I got all paranoid thinking I might not be able to get hard the next time.

Slap yourself in the face, and realize that you're a stud. Your girl still loves to fuck you and you know that giving it to her with a hard dick is the best. SO DO IT! You have the power hahahah, tell me how it goes bro.