Embarrassed with family?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by KomodoDragon, Oct 30, 2007.

  1. KomodoDragon

    KomodoDragon New Member

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    I find myself much more aware of my tight clothes when with family. I feel awakward wearing speedos to the beach when my parents and sister is tagging along. Also, when I go on my run in spandex, I find I must change before heading over to their house afterward.

    I'm afraid to "show" myself before them. Unlike being among friends and collegues, I have no reservations. I would jog into work, and literally change in my office. In the afternoons, when I change into my spandex shorts/long tights, I actually like to comments made by my co-workers as they see me exit.

    Are there others who feel less assured/shy with their family in their choice of clothes that show off their pecker?
     
  2. Big en

    Big en New Member

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    To make an informed decision and advise you correctly I would have to see the offending member...

    Seriously don't wear speedos in any situation....especially at family functions:smile:
     
  3. fak_et

    fak_et New Member

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    I just got a speedo and am perfectly comfortable wearing it in front of people. Yes it is a bit different in front of family but i still think i could do it.
     
  4. Sixofspades

    Sixofspades New Member

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    Yeah, just rock the loose-fitting look around any family members. Maybe that honey in the water will pick up on your bulge, but hey, you've got a girlfriend and it's an awkward situation with the parentals. I used to forego those sorts of outings altogether when I was younger.
     
  5. Freddie53

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    It is just the opposite in many families. Sons will walk around the house in just their briefs. Girls will walk around in a bra and panties. Same for the parents. But in public, modesty prevails.

    A very interesting question that is really a part of this poster's question is why are some people more modest around their parents and family than non family and why it is the opposite for some people?

    Why is it that some sons can change with their fathers in room? Why is it that with some guys it is OK for anyone to see their dick except their fathers?

    Are these taboos the result of family and public procedures over a life time or is there something else as in a moral issue involved?

    The "I am 24 years old and I forgot to lock the bathroom door and dad walked in and saw my soft dick. What am I going to do? I am scarred for life. My dad has not ever seen my penis. He wasn't allowed to change me when I was a baby. No men were. Please help. Do I qualify for counseling over this. I use the communal showers at the Y all the time. But this....it is incest I think."

    What is driving this kind of moral philsophy these days?
     
  6. Sixofspades

    Sixofspades New Member

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    It's all in the mindset the parents choose to adopt. I for one grew up thinking sex was vile and unnatural. I had the kind of mother who'd go "disgusting!" if anyone was even kissing on TV - you've never seen anyone change the channel so fast. So I think more often than not, it's the upbringing that governs how the child views these situations. My grandparents were also very Victorian in their thinking, so I can only assume that prudishness is passed down through the generations. I'm trying to break the mold as my siblings and I both laugh at the archaic way we were brought up, but we're still a little uptight and I'd probably need counseling too in the example you gave, haha.
     
  7. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    It's interesting my parents weren't necessarily prudes but I was very ashamed of my body growing-up. I think most of it stems from a single incident which made be believe sex was really evil. I discovered my father's porn stash and showed the neighborhood kids. The babysitter found it, told my mother, and then all hell broke loose. I was punished way beyond what might have been reasonable and that just vetoed any previous sense I had that there was nothing wrong with sex or sexuality. I spent most of my teens horrified that I was developing sexually as I felt my parents would think I was dirty and animal for doing so. Looking back I can now see that my parents were trying to be more liberal than they really were because Dr. Spock told them to be. Truly fucked-up.
     
  8. Freddie53

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    Thanks Jason for sharing this and this problem is much worse now than when you were a teen. If we are not careful we teach boys that puberty is evil for boys, not girls though. Mothers and daughters talk about bra sizes and go and try to bras together.

    But guys so much of the time are taught that any thing to do with sexuality involving parents is some type of incest.

    I know Jason is not alone in guys in our society believing that puberty is very evil and is to be completely embarassed about.

    Just exactly what is wrong with a father telling his 15 year old son that he is maturing normally and that he the father is pleased that his son is growing up? And just exactly what is wrong with a father telling his son who is on the verge of puberty what is going to happen and that size doesn't matter as far as what the father thinks about the son.

    Can someone tell me what is so wrong about a father telling his son that the son's body is fine and nothing to be ashamed of?

    The one thing that most guys really want but sometimes just can't or won't say verbally is that they really want their dad's approval and that includes their developing or developed bodies.
     
  9. sdbg

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    I grew up in a sexually conservative family - the true fashion police. None of us - female or male - ever wore anything revealing around the family. I left the east and moved to AZ at 23. When I went back to visit 2 years later, I was always discreet with my dress. Well, almost always. I was very fit had this royal blue and white striped Speedo that I loved. I was visiting my aunt and her 2 girls who lived 2 blocks from the beach. I changed and went to the beach with my 2 cousins. The next day my sister said that my aunt was embarrassed when she saw me leave for the beach. It's not like the swimsuit was skin tight and obscene. After that incident, I knew to play it cool when I went back to visit.
     
  10. Bbucko

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    My parents were always very open about sex and nudity. It's one of the few things they got right.
     
  11. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Thanks Freddie.

    I know I craved it. I remember thinking exactly this. My father takes no pride in his body, refusing to even wear tank tops as they are, "too revealing." He never played sports and never got me involved with them which I deeply wish he had. Instead sports were left to a butch lesbian teacher in gym who constantly singled me out for being nonathletic. She hated me with a passion, using every excuse in the book to embarrass or humiliate me. When I got to high school it was even worse. I avoided sports like the plague because I felt I'd never be any good at them and I'd have to wear revealing things like shorts and tank tops! Took me a long time to get over that.

    My father is a couch potato and taught me to be a couch potato too. Even now that I'm losing weight and trying to take better care of myself both my parents make comments about how I'm, "wasting away." It was even worse when I ran cross country in high school and I got down to a 34" waist (I'm 5' 11"). Both my parents and even my grandparents kept trying to get me to eat. They wanted me to be fat again! It's really perverse but neither of my parents want me to look attractive. It's OK for my sister to be, but not me. They want me fat and flabby and I think part of that is because if I became attractive then maybe I'd actually display an interest in sex. As of now, I've never mentioned or spoken of sex and the ONE time in my entire life I went out on a date and mentioned it, the news was greeted with stone silence. One time I got together with a neighborhood girl and we went out for an hour or two. We didn't do anything, it was just fun. I got home and was greeted with a tirade about how irresponsible I was to take off with a girl like that, blah, blah, blah.

    I don't know why it is but both my parents do not want me to think about, have, or seek sex of any kind. Odd because they constantly encouraged my sister to date, have fun, and even let her boyfriend sleep over!

    It's actually amazing I get along with them at all but how different, how much more confident and happy with myself I might have been if my father offered me more support. He should have stood-up to my mother in that porn incident but he didn't. He should have taken me out of that god-awful parochial school but he didn't. He should have instilled in me a sense of pride about my body but he didn't. I was amazed at how my friends got along with their fathers. They loved them, didn't fear them, actually had warm and supportive relationships.

     
  12. G_U

    G_U New Member

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    The only reason I can see to being more bold in front of your family is if you find one of them attractive and that kind of thing is legal where you live. (or you just don't tell anyone about it =P) Seriously, that's the only reason I can think of. If you don't have that kind of reasoning, then don't even bother because then you will probably just make at least one of them feel awkward. Personally, aside from a potential lover or lover, no one should have to see a guy in a speed-o. The only time for that is if you want to pick up horny girls. (or guys as the case may be.)

    This is just my personal opinion. Others are, of course, entitled to their own. Honestly, do whatever the hell you like, and let others be damned. You don't seem to mind people seeing your junk. You probably even enjoy it. I say do it if you think you will get some enjoyment from it. The worst that can happen is someone will be embarrassed or grossed out and there will be a few awkward days.
     
  13. KomodoDragon

    KomodoDragon New Member

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    You know what, I purposely wear spandex when I know certain girls I have the hots for will be where I'm going. I ha'ven't heard them discussing about me. One time, they must have forgotten I was there, or they must have allowed their guard down. The sister's mom was there and joked about me in spandex - telling another woman in the room. The mom (in her 50s) even asked if she could get a peek next time. I was so thrilled as it must have meant the sisters liked what they saw.
     
  14. HERCSURF

    HERCSURF New Member

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    the bigger issue is that you actually wear speedos and tights...lol hows about a little fashion sense
     
  15. KomodoDragon

    KomodoDragon New Member

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    What is fashionably incorrect with speedos for swimming/sun tanning and spandex tights for jogging??? Bad fashion sense from my perspective is cotton track pants for jogging and knee length shorts for swimming. See my point? It's similar to wearing skis for skiing and skate for skating! So you're saying, for example, it's better fashion sense to wear hiking shoes to go jogging, or wearing baggy jeans for a run?
     
  16. rich-9.8

    rich-9.8 New Member

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    I think the problem is that you are choosing exercise clothes specifically to show off your dick. It's not surprising that these clothes make you embarassed in front of your family. If I have the wrong end of the stick feel free to correct me though.
     
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