Emotional Affair

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dans, Feb 7, 2011.

  1. dans

    dans Member

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    Hello ladies,
    Heres my Question,a woman having an emotional affair with a co worker,what are the odds of it leading to sex?Just the womans opionion,thank you ladies
     
  2. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Wow, depends on a lot of things. Are either married or currently attached? How long has this been going on. Oh, and describe Emotional Affair. I'm not familiar with that term.

    I've heard of office affairs and office flirting, but sure I know about emotional.

    Of course, anything and everything we do is emotional, so maybe I'm reading too much into this.
     
  3. lpsggguy

    lpsggguy New Member

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    The longer it keeps up, the better the chances. Women start out with an emotional affair and think they want to keep it that way. The guy is, of course, going to go after his prize and eventually get it. Just a matter of time.
     
  4. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    I reckon I understand his meaning. They click, have a spark - perhaps it could have worked out had they both been single. It leads to jealousy and paranoia in their respective partners that sense something is up, except where most paranoia and jealousy is based on stupid facts in this situation the 'emotional affair' is very dangerous and threatening.

    Regardless of this, this usually happens to people my age and younger. People who can't control their emotions and don't know what they want. It can lead to suffering and an untimely end, or straight up cheating. Both constitute mental and emotional torture.

    I want someone who I can trust. Who wouldn't allow any emotion to blossom to this level, and would only want me in the whole world. Its a bit cliche and maybe even a bit naive but frankly, relationships are more trouble than they're worth for anybody that thinks they can still do better - so I don't think it is worth it.

    You need to explain the situation carefully to us, and follow our advice but we cannot do much unless you open up a few more details. So far, I would say you need to voice your concerns and not in a mousey scared way or she/he will cast you aside, you need to make it clear you're serious, you feel threatened and you don't like it.

    Let them know why they're with you basically.
     
  5. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

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    Of course you can have an "emotional" affair. Doesn't mean it will go further but maybe it will. I have had several emotional affairs, some stopped there and some went further. They don't scare or worry me at all, I just enjoy them for what they are.
     
  6. LaFemme

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    Emotional affairs are serious. That's when the heart has it's foot out the door of the relationship. Without dealing with it, then physical affair is likely and so is the end of the relationship. As mentioned earlier, women are all emotions - the emotional affair means something serious is missing for her at home. At least that's my opinion.
     
  7. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    It's when technically they aren't doing anything wrong (ie. there's nothing physical going on) but the two involved seem to be falling for each other all the same. Like Jonesy said, it's the sort of situation where they might think 'it could have worked out if we were both single' (although it's totally possible to be able to recognise this WITHOUT having an emotional affair).

    To the OP, I don't really think it matters if they ever have sex. An emotional affair is just as dangerous to your relationship as a physical one, if not more so.
     
  8. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    @subgirrl I would go as far to say an emotional affair is worse than a physical one. At least if it is just a mistake for sex then there is still only love between the original couple. The offender will go begging for forgiveness and, if forgiven, chances are the relationship will be strengthened even more.

    If it is emotional, the worst could happen in that the offender could leave the poor other half for this new person.
     
  9. RawDog

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    Since you didn't ask for guys' opinions, I won't offer one. I am curious why just the womenfolk's opinions matter to you and not the men's?
     
  10. SweetLovesVick

    SweetLovesVick New Member

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    I totally agree with LaFemme. She pretty much gave the definition of "emotional affair". Both people looked for someone to fill what they are missing in their current relationship.
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Because we know everything! :biggrin1:
     
  12. helgaleena

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    I do not want to weigh in until the original poster defines better what he means by 'emotional affair'. La Femme has a lovely understanding of what he might Possibly mean, but until he agrees, his query remains much too vague.

    Is it a heartfelt friendship with somebody you also think is hot? Is it causing some sort of guilt to either of you or not? Do you hug, or kiss, or hold hands, or anything physical at all? Is there no friendship in your mind simply because this person is sexually attractive to you as well? Does this person even realize you are thinking about sex with them? Or does this person think you are simply easy to talk to about emotions?

    See? I'm speculating wildly because I need more info to answer.
     
  13. RawDog

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    Well, if that's the case, tell me why you're not here fucking my wife then? :tongue:
     
  14. dans

    dans Member

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    Thank you to all of the women who answered,I wanted a womans opinion in case any of them has had that kind of affair,and that is why I posted it in the womens forum.The affair I speak of is not sexual,It is one where they have a close friendship that could lead to more.
    I have left for now until she decides what she wants.If it were sexual i would not give her a chance.We have been married 28 years and both have been faithful,so this
    is a first.I do feel betrayed,but time will tell our out come.Again thank you ladies
     
  15. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    Dans you are doing the right thing and you are right, you don't deserve to be anybodies equal when it comes to love. Let her decide what is best, if the past 28 years mean nothing to her, then maybe it is best to let go.
     
  16. helgaleena

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    Okay, now I have more info-- the woman is your wife, and she has a very good male friend who is also her co-worker. For some reason she has decided that she values this other man's friendship more than she values your marriage which is now clouded by your jealousy of her having a friend who is a man.

    SHE DID NOT CHEAT ON YOU. However, you have let your marriage deteriorate to the point where you are letting a friendship be an issue between you.

    Reverse the situation. What if you had a very close friend, who worked at your job and listened to your problems, but happened to be a female, possibly a pretty plain female which made sexual feelings with her nearly not an issue? Would you expect your wife to be jealous?

    If you and your wife are no longer friends, and you have already left her, it sounds like your marriage was gone already.
     
  17. badgirl22

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    I think an emotional affair is far more dangerous than simply having a sexual affair just for the sake of getting a bit of *the strange* - That's probably because, for me, it takes a lot to become emotionally involved but I do believe one can have sex without being emotionally involved just for the physical sake of it. Once I'm emotionally in it with someone that's it - I'm in it. The only way that would happen if I were married is if I was done with the marriage.
     
  18. dans

    dans Member

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    Again thank you for the advise,as for being jealous,i am not.I think hurt is the
    word.And as far as the role being reversed,I would not do that to her ,well just could not.
    And our marriage was great, she and I never argue,all these years still holding hands and opening doors for her.Me leaving for a while is me giving her time to see what she wants to do,trust me when i say this is torture.I will go back on Friday to see what she thinks and feels.I do not know how long it has been going on,and do not think I want to know.I would just love to gets things back to normal if we can.
    Thank you again
     
  19. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    usually when a girl is drifting in a relationship, the guy feels the need to give them a lot of attention, which is the wrong thing to do, because women like to have a chase ... be firm with her and tell her look, its me or him, if she gives you a wishy washy thing like "i need space" or "i dont know what i want", put on a poker face as if you are not too upset and leave, (or kick her out if you own the place, you get what im saying) now of course you dont fully leave, but you have to make it look like that you wont tolerate bs like this, b/c if you allow this behavior and support it (trying to treat her extra nice for her straying, buying flowers to try and win her over etc.) then she will just walk all over you, put your foot down and squash it before you get really really hurt

    because if you walk out its a win win, if she really loves you (28 yrs put in would suggest that she does) then she will come crawling back in no time, if she runs off with her "friend" then it was bound to happen anyway and it proves that she wasnt a good women anyway

    trust biz markie when it comes to situations like this man, and good luck
     
  20. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Cat and plane ticket. See. I DO know everything :tongue:.
     
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