AlteredEgo
Mythical Member
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- Jan 12, 2006
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I have had an emotional affair. My husband is aware of the friendship, but not of the extent of the feelings that we both have each for the other. We played a video game online together, and eventually began chatting about the world around us, and our lives away from the game. It began very innocently. We are both married. He's been married longer than I have been alive. His daughter and I could have been friends if life was different. In fact, I chose her Christmas gifts, and was asked to do so because we have similar interests, and her father felt he didn't know enough to buy something truly useful to her. He and I quite accidentally, and very quickly became really close, connecting intellectually and spiritually in a way that I've never felt with anyone else. Eventually, it did get to a point where we both knew it was inappropriate. We have talked about it, and the conclusion we came to was that these feelings might wear off when our friendship becomes less novel, and since we will never meet in person or leave our spouses, no real harm can be done.Again thank you for the advise,as for being jealous,i am not.I think hurt is the
word.And as far as the role being reversed,I would not do that to her ,well just could not.
And our marriage was great, she and I never argue,all these years still holding hands and opening doors for her.Me leaving for a while is me giving her time to see what she wants to do,trust me when i say this is torture.I will go back on Friday to see what she thinks and feels.I do not know how long it has been going on,and do not think I want to know.I would just love to gets things back to normal if we can.
Thank you again
It's been a year, and these feelings have been muted, but are not really gone. I still don't intend to act on the mutual attraction in any physical way, and I do not steal time from my husband and give it to my friendship. So, I have not broken off the friendship, though I sometimes have wondered if I should.
This is a symptom of a much bigger problem, and there is one specific aspect of my marriage with which I have never been satisfied. My husband is kind and generous, considerate, and chivalrous. He sets his alarm ten minutes ahead, just to have time to cuddle with me for ten minutes every morning before work. He rushes home to be with me after work, and is very helpful to me around the house, especially if something needs to get fixed. However, getting sex from him is like getting blood from a stone. Practically impossible. It's like being married to my occasionally inappropriate brother. Every once in a while, I'll think things are getting better, and we'll have sex a few times. Then he becomes sexually withdrawn again. Each time this happens, I myself become harder to engage sexually, because frankly, I'm tired of the rejection. I go through phases where I'd rather have sex with pretty much anyone other than my husband, not that I'm inclined, mind you. I think if this other guy didn't live so far away from here, or anywhere I'm likely to ever live, I'd have had to break it off. I feel pretty sure that he'd never cheat on his wife, and that I'd never cheat on my husband, but I wouldn't gamble. As it stands, neither of us is checking the price of airfare.
Recently, my husband and I have talked about seeing a sex therapist. We'll see what happens. I really do want to get this resolved, and this is a problem we've had since before we got married. I just thought it would get better, and it has, but not better enough.
Your wife's emotional affair is a symptom of a problem within your relationship, and you do not see it for some reason. Who cares that my husband cuddles me, holds my hand in public, opens doors and pulls out chairs? I like those things but I'm still not satisfied. My marriage still isn't whole, and yours hasn't been either. Something or other is missing from your marriage as far as she is concerned. You're here talking to us. Have you tried asking her?