Emotional Erectile Dysfunction?

[B_Think_Kink]

or just an ED with a twist for better clarification. My (gay friend if it makes a difference) has been faced with a new problem. 18 years old, and has an ED already. His most recent ex-boyfriend had the same problem, he chalked it up to still being in love with his last boyfriend. Anytime things got heading toward sex, he would remember his ex, and loose his hard on. It was a really interesting scenario, and my friend decided that instead of trying to get over it, he would psych himself out during sex. Now that my friend is no longer with this guy ^, he has been out partying, drinking, doing drugs, and trying to get over him. He's fooled around with other guys no problem, but as soon as it comes to sex... he looses his hard on, becomes angry, and makes the person leave.
The only reason why I'm concerned (besides him being a good friend) is that he'll learn the same helplessness that his ex did... and it will carry on with him.
What do you guys suggest?

 

[danerain]

or just an ED with a twist for better clarification. My (gay friend if it makes a difference) has been faced with a new problem. 18 years old, and has an ED already. His most recent ex-boyfriend had the same problem, he chalked it up to still being in love with his last boyfriend. Anytime things got heading toward sex, he would remember his ex, and loose his hard on. It was a really interesting scenario, and my friend decided that instead of trying to get over it, he would psych himself out during sex. Now that my friend is no longer with this guy ^, he has been out partying, drinking, doing drugs, and trying to get over him. He's fooled around with other guys no problem, but as soon as it comes to sex... he looses his hard on, becomes angry, and makes the person leave.
The only reason why I'm concerned (besides him being a good friend) is that he'll learn the same helplessness that his ex did... and it will carry on with him.
What do you guys suggest?

That he gets into a healthy relationship with someone who can understand his issues and help him work through it.

Seeing a sex therapist might help

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Getting into a healthy relationship is what he did for his ex boyfriend, and the ex wansn't capeable of maintaining the hard on...

He wont go for therapy... not at 18... he'd think I was crazy to even suggest it.

 

[Principessa]

There's an age requirement for therapy in Canada?

Getting into a healthy relationship is what he did for his ex boyfriend, and the ex wansn't capeable of maintaining the hard on...

He wont go for therapy... not at 18... he'd think I was crazy to even suggest it.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

There's an age requirement for therapy in Canada?

Not what I ment... just that at 18... he wouldn't go... he wont even go get tested cause he's scared... he's really immature health wise.

 

[Principessa]

Sorry it's been a long day :redface: I didn't get that.

He's drinking, drugging, and not having sex but getting to 3rd base eeeeekkkkkk! I just went into concerned mom mode. Stop! Don't tell me anymore my brain might explode. :frown1: :frown1: :frown1:

njqt466

Not what I meant... just that at 18... he wouldn't go... he wont even go get tested cause he's scared... he's really immature health wise.

 

[fatunicorn]

ok, he's 18, partying, doing drugs and "trying" to fuck around.

He's just a kid, thats way too young to be doing drugs combined with his other activities. Honestly if he really wants to lose the problem he has to completely change, I wouldn't think he'd be able to handle that lifestyle physically or mentally at his age.

Don't know the extent, did he always have a problem (to a different level), are his friends losers? is he eating right? etc.

Basically you have to fix everything, your friends, you're eating habits, your drug habits, smoking habits, etc. Having ED at that age is pretty difficult because youre libido should be higher than normal and you can pretty much get an erection by looking at paint dry.

 

[Epistasia]

I agree, he needs to come to the realization that the issue may be deeper than a physical dysfunction. I know that a quick fix would be convenient but there may not be one for this particular situation.

I don't want to come off as being condescending but if at 18 he is having sexual difficulty, it may be because he's not emotionally ready. As much as he may want to detach himself from that aspect, it is nearly impossible.

The point of having sex is to have fun and considering the circumstances it doesn't sound like anyone is having fun. IMHO there is not going to be a solution to this problem that doesn't involve some soul searching.

Brit

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Well I did have a chat with him last night, and it wasn't as bad as he first made me think. I'm sure this is just temporary... I wanted an alertative fix, as opposed to him just getting some pills.. I think that deeper root problems have to be looked into.