For the past several years I can't remember a time in which I had been truly happy. But here recently, it seems that it's gotten worse. In the past week or so I've began feeling more and more worthless, sleeping 14 hours a day on average on the weekends. I can no longer bring myself to go to work for fear of unacceptance and rejection. This morning I sat on my couch and seriously thought about walking into the kitchen to grab a knife and cut my wrist, watching the blood spurt down the sink, just so I could go to the hospital and avoid going to work to be around other people. Now I know what you're thinking, a cry for help, or someone that enjoys the attention of medical personnel. It's not like that. I thought about it in attempts to avoid social confrontation. It's scary to me beginning to wish bad events occuring to my wife and child just to avoid going outside the house. I have felt more and more hopeless and just generally miserable. I've always had a slight social anxiety, but never had I thought about hurting myself or those around me just to avoid social confrontations. Obviously I need to seek help, but I don't know which it could be. Severe depression, or severe social anxiety. And yes I am aware that I need to seek help but I really don't know where to start. The last thing I want is to "talk" to someone. It's embarrassing to spill your guts to someone you don't even know. I even find it hard to go and see a doctor, I just wanna curl up into a ball and be forgotten. My job, my marriage, and sense of sanity are at stake. I guess I'm posting this just to find some sort of relief. I cried in the shower thinking about it and oddly feel a bit better after doing so. As said before, I'm not in denial, I'm not craving attention, I know there's a problem and I need to seek help, this I don't need to hear again. Please no flaming, I didn't post to be your joke of the day. I guess my question is this, have you ever felt like this? If so how did you overcome it? Where can I start? Should I ask my wife to take our kid to her mom's for a while so that I can work through this?