Encounter In The Gym Showers This Morning

Big Dick Pilot

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This update is easily the most difficult to write as I am filled with strong and mixed emotions and in some places, I find it challenging to express what I am feeling deep down, at the core of my being.

Over the past several years I shared via posts on this site my thoughts about my attraction to men and my experiences and interactions. Looking back across my life, my desires for being with guys have evolved. There are probably three distinct buckets or eras – 1) noticing and admiring good looking guys with athletic bodies and jarred into reality by my tennis coach in college (Who was the first guy you saw nude who turned you on? (18+ only)); 2) followed by acknowledging the attraction and letting myself be comfortable with this part of my sexuality, manifesting in years of jacking off thinking about guys or jacking off with them in steam rooms and saunas when the opportunity presented itself, both of which were adequately erotic and sexually fulfilling; and 3) a new reality once again through my experience with John and realizing I could fall in love and have an intimate relationship with another guy, opening the door to what could be a third, unknown phase of understanding my sexuality.

Seven months ago, I posted about an encounter I had with a guy in the showers at the gym. A guy I had seen a working out and in the locker room several times. As that encounter led to a budding relationship over the subsequent months, I discovered more about myself and I opened up to folks on here through posts and private messages. I have been blown away by those who have reached out to me with stories of their own. Men (and women) who offered their helpful insights, expressing regrets they had in their lives, yearning for something similar, just wanting to say hello or to thank me for sharing my story. I know I’ve said all of that before but I can’t emphasize enough how surprised I have been for the support offered and to discover there is a community of guys who fall all over the broad straight-bi-gay spectrum. Guys who can relate to the very feelings, emotions and pleasures of being with another guy and who do not fit neatly into one of society’s three little boxes of being straight or gay.

Several times a year my wife has her “girls time away” for a few days, usually with her sister. She works hard, does a lot to keep the household running and deserves her time away. I’ve never questioned it and it works for us. Every year I have one getaway and I have always chosen to go skiing for 2-3 days. My wife hates the cold, the snow and skiing so it allows me to do something I enjoy (but don’t get to do often enough) and not feel bad that she’s not having a good time. Again, it works for us. In years past I have traveled with a buddy or another couple, however it is difficult to coordinate schedules so I usually just go by myself. This year John joined me and we went the week before last. We talked about getting away for a different kind of trip, i.e., not a ski trip, but this was the only type of trip I could justify. We knew we’d both have fun and would enjoy being away for three and a half days and being with each other.

John arrived before me and I met him at the airport. I had two flights to fly that day, starting with an early 5:45AM first flight. For the flight to meet John, I flew on my dime and arrived still in my uniform. This was the second time he had seen me in my uniform and he really got a kick out of it. I loved seeing his excited, handsome face and broad smile. As I walked toward him I was hit with a sense of freedom that we were embarking on a few days unleashed to be ourselves. We greeted each other with a hug and he whispered how handsome I looked and that he wanted to eat me right there. A cute and sexy greeting. We picked up the rental car and as soon as the doors were shut we leaned over the console and kissed each other. I started the car and turned on the heat. We kissed again, this time my hand running up the inside of his jeans, cupping his bulge and massaging his cock and balls as our tongues swirled around each other’s mouth. John brought me back into reality as my hand was feeling his hardening cock through his jeans – there were several people heading our way, looking for their rental car. We laughed and drove out of the rental car lot and headed towards where we were staying. We stopped by a store and picked up some basics – breakfast items, alcohol and snacks and then headed to the place I rented. I splurged a little and got us a nicely appointed place that included an outdoor hot tub with privacy where we could lounge in the water naked, have a beverage and enjoy the view and being with each other.

When we arrived we unpacked the car. As soon as the last bag was in, John pulled me into him, held me tightly and kissed me. We alternated from passionate kissing, to looking into each other’s eyes, hands on each other’s ass, just smiling at each other and back to passionate kissing. John said, “I have always wanted to do this.” He stepped back, unzipped my uniform trousers, reached into my boxer briefs, and pulled out my dick, setting it free to get fully hard. He dropped to his knees and slowly sucked my dick.

I told John I didn’t want any Monica Lewinsky-Bill Clinton stains on my trousers and he laughed and said he’d swallow. I appreciated the offer but had a more leisurely late afternoon in mind since it was still daylight and suggested we get in the hot tub. I took off my uniform and walked out onto the deck in my boxer briefs, dick sticking out above the waistband. I took the cover off of the hot tub and as the rental company had promised, “we’ll have it ready for you.” The water was sparkling and warm. I turned on the jets and went back inside. John had stripped down to his boxer briefs and was at the kitchen island mixing a couple of drinks. I walked up behind him, put my arms around him and pulled him into me. He shuddered and said, “You’re cold.” I responded that the temperature outside was cold but the water was warm. I ran my right hand down his smooth stomach and into his boxer briefs, my fingers through his trimmed bush, over his cock and cupped his smooth balls. My dick was now rock hard and pushing against his firm ass. As I kissed his neck, my two middle fingers went behind his balls and lightly touched his smooth taint. My hand moved upward and to his now hard cock, moving along the length of his shaft and finding his dripping cock head. I played with his cock head and precum as I told him how much I loved him. I pulled my hand out of his underwear and put my two precum wet fingers in his mouth. He sucked his precum off and moved his mouth down the length of my fingers. He turned around and smiled and said, “I think the hot tub is calling us.” We took off boxer briefs, leaving them on the kitchen island and went outside with drinks in hand and boners bouncing in front of us as we got into the hot tub.

We sat next to each other, shoulders down in the warm water. After a few sips of the drinks John made we started making out, our hands feeling each other’s body. John stood up in front of me, his nipples hard from the cold temperature, drops of water running down his smooth chest and stomach and his hard cock pointing at my face. I put my hands on his legs and pulled his naked, wet body closer to me. My lips wrapped around his cock and traveled the length of his hard shaft, my tongue working the back of his cock as my mouth went all the way down, my nose into the short hairs of his bush. My mind was solely focused on John’s cock and hearing his soft moans of pleasure, my lips feeling his hard shaft, the velvety texture of his cock head and my tongue tasting his salty sweet precum. John leaned up and over me, to give me a better angle for sucking his cock. As he moved up further so I could get his balls in my mouth, my hands moved up the back of his strong legs and onto his smooth ass. I massaged his ass while I sucked on his shaved balls, his hard dick resting on my face. He lowered himself a little and I went back to sucking his cock while my right hand moved around massaged his balls. My hand then moved back, the middle finger finding his tight hole. I circled his hole until I felt it loosen up and then slowly inserted my finger. With my finger all the way in John’s ass, I tasted a bigger flow of precum leaking from his dick and it made me want John’s cock even more. He always shoots a bigger load if I’m fingering his ass while I’m sucking him. I worked a second finger in while still working his cock in my mouth. John naked, stretched out over me, his cock in my mouth, ass spread, two fingers in his hole – I’m sure the birds and squirrels were getting quite the show! I could tell John was close to cumming by the way his ass was pushing against my hand and riding my fingers, from his moans and because his cock was getting even harder and his cock head bigger like it always does just before he cums. I tightened the seal around his cock as my lips and tongue played with his dick, sucking in his hard shaft and the last drops of precum. His ass tightened around my fingers a second before he shot a hefty and forceful load into my mouth. His thick, warm cum contrasting with the cold, crisp air around us. I could not get enough of his cum; I didn’t want him to stop shooting his load. I swallowed his cum and slowly sucked him to get the last drops of his cum and to give him a minute to come down from his orgasm. He lowered himself back into the water, kissed me and said it was my turn. I pulled myself up and sat on the edge, my hard dick pointing upward. John positioned himself between my legs and started licking and sucking on my balls. This is his favorite way to start. He knows I love my balls sucked on and he likes teasing my dick for a few minutes before he takes it in his mouth and devours it. John took his time sucking my dick and I shot my load down his throat.

We sat arm in arm in silence for several minutes, taking in the snow-covered trees and open view. We transitioned to talking about what this trip meant to us. I’ve always kept John’s age and where he is in life in perspective. I’m more settled and he has his whole career and life in front of him. From time to time we talked about the challenges of continuing our relationship, especially if he relocates for a job after graduate school. After interviewing with several organizations, John accepted an offer three weeks ago. The position is his post-graduate degree dream job and he will be relocating to San Diego. He’s super excited about the job and it’s a good opportunity for him. But this means we’re in the realities of a time we knew was coming. If I was in a different place in my life and things were different I’d follow him. But that is not within my current reality. As we discussed this over the past couple of months we decided that we’d let go of each other. We talked a lot about what that meant. Neither of us like the idea of a hard cut off. We decided that we’d still stay in touch, occasionally meet up while he’s still local but we’d end our sexual relationship. We don’t know exactly how it’s going to work or play out and we’re open to adjusting as we go. We both believe it’s best for both of us to end this chapter but not end the friendship and fondness we have for each other. We didn’t want this to be a sad trip. We wanted it to be a trip to celebrate the two of us, what we had learned from this experience and to express our love for each other. As we told each other that we loved the other, we kissed and took turns rolling on top of the other, feeling ourselves against the other’s naked, wet body, our cocks and balls mingling between us. And then, with almost perfect timing, we both said we needed to get out of the hot tub and take a leak! We got out, put the cover back on and headed inside.

After taking a bio break, we played a couple of rounds of pool. Neither of us are pool players and our game is average-ish at best. But with the house now warm, it was fun to hang out naked and play pool. I’ll admit, he’s a better player than me and won both times that afternoon. In fact, I won once during the entire trip. OK, maybe I suck at pool.

(continued below)
 

Big Dick Pilot

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Both of us beginning to feel the need for a meal, we decided to clean up and head out for dinner. After showering, I was standing naked at the bathroom counter, brushing my teeth, when John walked in, naked, iPhone in hand and asked about my preference for one of three restaurants he read about. I told him what I thought, he agreed and said we could try the others another night. He put his iPhone down on the counter, stood behind me, his soft cock in the crack of my ass, his hands on my hips and told me he loved me. As I leaned over to rinse, he pulled my ass into him and I felt his cock getting hard. He said, “I also love this” as he spread my ass and his cock head found my hole. When I stood up straight, my back to him, his hands went around to my cock and balls as he nibbled on my ear. I turned around and without saying a word we went to the bed. For the next hour or so we made love, sucking each other, eating each other’s ass, 69’g and fucking each other in multiple positions. We barely said a word. When we came, we were tightly embraced, my legs around him, my dick shooting my load between us and John cumming in my ass. The hot tub had been a warm up. We both needed this expression of love for each other. We cleaned up (again) and headed out for dinner, both of us now starving!

Each day of our trip consisted of getting up early (early mornings in the hot tub with coffee and naked John are awesome!), sex, skiing for a little over a half day, lunch, more sex, hanging out in town or going for a drive, more sex, dinner, hot tub time again, binging on Narcos Mexico while cuddling in front of the fire, more sex, sleeping, and getting up and repeating for the next day. The sex ranged from “I need to suck a load out of your cock” to playful fucks to deeply passionate sessions making love.

On the second night, we had dinner sitting at the bar of a restaurant. There were two guys next to us who were nice looking and probably mid 40’s. We struck up a conversation with them. After chatting with them over drinks and dinner, one of the guys asked how long we’d been together. John and I looked at each other and laughed. The guy said, “You are a couple? Sorry if I got that wrong.” I told him we were and it had been about seven months. I was really taken aback. I didn’t think we gave off a vibe of being a couple and our conversation with these guys was not “couple talk.” And then it dawned on me that maybe these guys were a couple. So I asked them and they said they had been together for 15 years. I asked them why we were giving off a vibe that we were a couple. They laughed and the other guy said it was just gaydar and he could tell we were in love, not so much by anything we said but how we interacted with each other. John said that we’d just fucked each other before dinner and that maybe that look of love was post sex afterglow. I was surprised that he said that, especially in a crowded restaurant and looked around to make sure no one heard what he said. The other guys laughed. It also struck me that it was the first time openly telling someone else that we were having sex. That led into a conversation about how we met, etc. Interestingly, they had met on Craigslist and one of them had been married to a woman. After dinner, we went across the street and had another drink with them in a quieter setting. They were good guys and it was fun to talk with them openly, especially the divorced guy. We wanted to meet up with them again but they said they were flying out the next day. We exchanged numbers and email addresses. The divorced guy sent me a text this week and asked how it was going (re post trip and pulling away from John). We exchanged a few texts. It was nice of him to check in.

Although John and I had a brief trip away a couple of months ago, this was the first time we felt unrushed and could be ourselves, both in private and in public. As with most getaways and vacations, all of the realities of day to day life were lacking, and that made it easier to focus on the two of us. Over the course of the several days together, my attraction to and love for John grew stronger. For him, John said the trip validated what he already knew, his deep love for me.

The last morning we made love for a couple of hours, starting in the hot tub and finishing in bed. It was an incredibly intense session, filled with pleasure and emotion. He came in my ass and then I rolled on top of him and came in his. We’ve done that before but this time was different. The feeling of his body as he came in me. The feeling of him holding onto me and the sensation of his ass around my dick when I came in him. I always felt close to him when we made love but this time was like we were transferring something of each other to the other, creating a unique bond between us. I can’t find words to articulate the feeling.

We quickly cleaned up and packed. On the way to the airport, John asked how many times we’d cum over the past several days. We tried to count the number of loads we swallowed, the number of loads we’d taken in our ass and we couldn’t. We cracked ourselves up trying to recount. We did agree that every load was either swallowed or deposited. Besides sex we talked about what a perfect trip it had been and how good we felt about it. I hung out at John’s gate until he boarded. We gave each other a hug goodbye and a pat on the shoulder. We both held it together. A few minutes later, as I was walking to my gate, a sudden wave of sadness and general feeling of emptiness hit me. That sense of freedom I felt just a few days before was now gone. A piece of me, a part of who I am, was being boxed up and tucked away inside of me. And the guy I love and I were distancing ourselves from each other to do what is right. It was almost overwhelming. I ducked into the men’s room and barely made it into a stall before I lost it. It has been many years since I was that emotional. I stood in the stall and let it all out.

There were several moments over the last week that were rough. Each time I had to pull myself up with thoughts that not only was this the right thing to do but given the experience we had together, there could not have been a better guy than John to have been with and discover this side of me.

I have no idea what this third era will bring. Or where what I have learned and discovered about myself and my sexuality will take me. There have only been two guys in my life I have had feelings for, my tennis coach in college and John. John was the only one I had an opportunity to allow myself to open up and to discover sex and love with. It may never happen again. But what new perspectives will I now have?

John and I exchanged a few texts the middle of last week. I was going to hold off for a week, but on day five he texted me and asked how I was doing. We both kept it light, acknowledged what a great trip it had been and said that we missed each other. The exchange kind of helped and kind of didn’t.

As Bugs Bunny used to say, “That’s all folks.” At least for now.
 

Big billie

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Both of us beginning to feel the need for a meal, we decided to clean up and head out for dinner. After showering, I was standing naked at the bathroom counter, brushing my teeth, when John walked in, naked, iPhone in hand and asked about my preference for one of three restaurants he read about. I told him what I thought, he agreed and said we could try the others another night. He put his iPhone down on the counter, stood behind me, his soft cock in the crack of my ass, his hands on my hips and told me he loved me. As I leaned over to rinse, he pulled my ass into him and I felt his cock getting hard. He said, “I also love this” as he spread my ass and his cock head found my hole. When I stood up straight, my back to him, his hands went around to my cock and balls as he nibbled on my ear. I turned around and without saying a word we went to the bed. For the next hour or so we made love, sucking each other, eating each other’s ass, 69’g and fucking each other in multiple positions. We barely said a word. When we came, we were tightly embraced, my legs around him, my dick shooting my load between us and John cumming in my ass. The hot tub had been a warm up. We both needed this expression of love for each other. We cleaned up (again) and headed out for dinner, both of us now starving!

Each day of our trip consisted of getting up early (early mornings in the hot tub with coffee and naked John are awesome!), sex, skiing for a little over a half day, lunch, more sex, hanging out in town or going for a drive, more sex, dinner, hot tub time again, binging on Narcos Mexico while cuddling in front of the fire, more sex, sleeping, and getting up and repeating for the next day. The sex ranged from “I need to suck a load out of your cock” to playful fucks to deeply passionate sessions making love.

On the second night, we had dinner sitting at the bar of a restaurant. There were two guys next to us who were nice looking and probably mid 40’s. We struck up a conversation with them. After chatting with them over drinks and dinner, one of the guys asked how long we’d been together. John and I looked at each other and laughed. The guy said, “You are a couple? Sorry if I got that wrong.” I told him we were and it had been about seven months. I was really taken aback. I didn’t think we gave off a vibe of being a couple and our conversation with these guys was not “couple talk.” And then it dawned on me that maybe these guys were a couple. So I asked them and they said they had been together for 15 years. I asked them why we were giving off a vibe that we were a couple. They laughed and the other guy said it was just gaydar and he could tell we were in love, not so much by anything we said but how we interacted with each other. John said that we’d just fucked each other before dinner and that maybe that look of love was post sex afterglow. I was surprised that he said that, especially in a crowded restaurant and looked around to make sure no one heard what he said. The other guys laughed. It also struck me that it was the first time openly telling someone else that we were having sex. That led into a conversation about how we met, etc. Interestingly, they had met on Craigslist and one of them had been married to a woman. After dinner, we went across the street and had another drink with them in a quieter setting. They were good guys and it was fun to talk with them openly, especially the divorced guy. We wanted to meet up with them again but they said they were flying out the next day. We exchanged numbers and email addresses. The divorced guy sent me a text this week and asked how it was going (re post trip and pulling away from John). We exchanged a few texts. It was nice of him to check in.

Although John and I had a brief trip away a couple of months ago, this was the first time we felt unrushed and could be ourselves, both in private and in public. As with most getaways and vacations, all of the realities of day to day life were lacking, and that made it easier to focus on the two of us. Over the course of the several days together, my attraction to and love for John grew stronger. For him, John said the trip validated what he already knew, his deep love for me.

The last morning we made love for a couple of hours, starting in the hot tub and finishing in bed. It was an incredibly intense session, filled with pleasure and emotion. He came in my ass and then I rolled on top of him and came in his. We’ve done that before but this time was different. The feeling of his body as he came in me. The feeling of him holding onto me and the sensation of his ass around my dick when I came in him. I always felt close to him when we made love but this time was like we were transferring something of each other to the other, creating a unique bond between us. I can’t find words to articulate the feeling.

We quickly cleaned up and packed. On the way to the airport, John asked how many times we’d cum over the past several days. We tried to count the number of loads we swallowed, the number of loads we’d taken in our ass and we couldn’t. We cracked ourselves up trying to recount. We did agree that every load was either swallowed or deposited. Besides sex we talked about what a perfect trip it had been and how good we felt about it. I hung out at John’s gate until he boarded. We gave each other a hug goodbye and a pat on the shoulder. We both held it together. A few minutes later, as I was walking to my gate, a sudden wave of sadness and general feeling of emptiness hit me. That sense of freedom I felt just a few days before was now gone. A piece of me, a part of who I am, was being boxed up and tucked away inside of me. And the guy I love and I were distancing ourselves from each other to do what is right. It was almost overwhelming. I ducked into the men’s room and barely made it into a stall before I lost it. It has been many years since I was that emotional. I stood in the stall and let it all out.

There were several moments over the last week that were rough. Each time I had to pull myself up with thoughts that not only was this the right thing to do but given the experience we had together, there could not have been a better guy than John to have been with and discover this side of me.

I have no idea what this third era will bring. Or where what I have learned and discovered about myself and my sexuality will take me. There have only been two guys in my life I have had feelings for, my tennis coach in college and John. John was the only one I had an opportunity to allow myself to open up and to discover sex and love with. It may never happen again. But what new perspectives will I now have?

John and I exchanged a few texts the middle of last week. I was going to hold off for a week, but on day five he texted me and asked how I was doing. We both kept it light, acknowledged what a great trip it had been and said that we missed each other. The exchange kind of helped and kind of didn’t.

As Bugs Bunny used to say, “That’s all folks.” At least for now.
Sad for you but so damn erotic-thanks for posting
 

Sexybadger

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Both of us beginning to feel the need for a meal, we decided to clean up and head out for dinner. After showering, I was standing naked at the bathroom counter, brushing my teeth, when John walked in, naked, iPhone in hand and asked about my preference for one of three restaurants he read about. I told him what I thought, he agreed and said we could try the others another night. He put his iPhone down on the counter, stood behind me, his soft cock in the crack of my ass, his hands on my hips and told me he loved me. As I leaned over to rinse, he pulled my ass into him and I felt his cock getting hard. He said, “I also love this” as he spread my ass and his cock head found my hole. When I stood up straight, my back to him, his hands went around to my cock and balls as he nibbled on my ear. I turned around and without saying a word we went to the bed. For the next hour or so we made love, sucking each other, eating each other’s ass, 69’g and fucking each other in multiple positions. We barely said a word. When we came, we were tightly embraced, my legs around him, my dick shooting my load between us and John cumming in my ass. The hot tub had been a warm up. We both needed this expression of love for each other. We cleaned up (again) and headed out for dinner, both of us now starving!

Each day of our trip consisted of getting up early (early mornings in the hot tub with coffee and naked John are awesome!), sex, skiing for a little over a half day, lunch, more sex, hanging out in town or going for a drive, more sex, dinner, hot tub time again, binging on Narcos Mexico while cuddling in front of the fire, more sex, sleeping, and getting up and repeating for the next day. The sex ranged from “I need to suck a load out of your cock” to playful fucks to deeply passionate sessions making love.

On the second night, we had dinner sitting at the bar of a restaurant. There were two guys next to us who were nice looking and probably mid 40’s. We struck up a conversation with them. After chatting with them over drinks and dinner, one of the guys asked how long we’d been together. John and I looked at each other and laughed. The guy said, “You are a couple? Sorry if I got that wrong.” I told him we were and it had been about seven months. I was really taken aback. I didn’t think we gave off a vibe of being a couple and our conversation with these guys was not “couple talk.” And then it dawned on me that maybe these guys were a couple. So I asked them and they said they had been together for 15 years. I asked them why we were giving off a vibe that we were a couple. They laughed and the other guy said it was just gaydar and he could tell we were in love, not so much by anything we said but how we interacted with each other. John said that we’d just fucked each other before dinner and that maybe that look of love was post sex afterglow. I was surprised that he said that, especially in a crowded restaurant and looked around to make sure no one heard what he said. The other guys laughed. It also struck me that it was the first time openly telling someone else that we were having sex. That led into a conversation about how we met, etc. Interestingly, they had met on Craigslist and one of them had been married to a woman. After dinner, we went across the street and had another drink with them in a quieter setting. They were good guys and it was fun to talk with them openly, especially the divorced guy. We wanted to meet up with them again but they said they were flying out the next day. We exchanged numbers and email addresses. The divorced guy sent me a text this week and asked how it was going (re post trip and pulling away from John). We exchanged a few texts. It was nice of him to check in.

Although John and I had a brief trip away a couple of months ago, this was the first time we felt unrushed and could be ourselves, both in private and in public. As with most getaways and vacations, all of the realities of day to day life were lacking, and that made it easier to focus on the two of us. Over the course of the several days together, my attraction to and love for John grew stronger. For him, John said the trip validated what he already knew, his deep love for me.

The last morning we made love for a couple of hours, starting in the hot tub and finishing in bed. It was an incredibly intense session, filled with pleasure and emotion. He came in my ass and then I rolled on top of him and came in his. We’ve done that before but this time was different. The feeling of his body as he came in me. The feeling of him holding onto me and the sensation of his ass around my dick when I came in him. I always felt close to him when we made love but this time was like we were transferring something of each other to the other, creating a unique bond between us. I can’t find words to articulate the feeling.

We quickly cleaned up and packed. On the way to the airport, John asked how many times we’d cum over the past several days. We tried to count the number of loads we swallowed, the number of loads we’d taken in our ass and we couldn’t. We cracked ourselves up trying to recount. We did agree that every load was either swallowed or deposited. Besides sex we talked about what a perfect trip it had been and how good we felt about it. I hung out at John’s gate until he boarded. We gave each other a hug goodbye and a pat on the shoulder. We both held it together. A few minutes later, as I was walking to my gate, a sudden wave of sadness and general feeling of emptiness hit me. That sense of freedom I felt just a few days before was now gone. A piece of me, a part of who I am, was being boxed up and tucked away inside of me. And the guy I love and I were distancing ourselves from each other to do what is right. It was almost overwhelming. I ducked into the men’s room and barely made it into a stall before I lost it. It has been many years since I was that emotional. I stood in the stall and let it all out.

There were several moments over the last week that were rough. Each time I had to pull myself up with thoughts that not only was this the right thing to do but given the experience we had together, there could not have been a better guy than John to have been with and discover this side of me.

I have no idea what this third era will bring. Or where what I have learned and discovered about myself and my sexuality will take me. There have only been two guys in my life I have had feelings for, my tennis coach in college and John. John was the only one I had an opportunity to allow myself to open up and to discover sex and love with. It may never happen again. But what new perspectives will I now have?

John and I exchanged a few texts the middle of last week. I was going to hold off for a week, but on day five he texted me and asked how I was doing. We both kept it light, acknowledged what a great trip it had been and said that we missed each other. The exchange kind of helped and kind of didn’t.

As Bugs Bunny used to say, “That’s all folks.” At least for now.

How did it feel to type that out? Reading it, i can't help but feel like you should be chasing this man you love. I know its complicated, but you only get one life - why not live a life where you can be truly happy.
 
A

AnthonyAdkins

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Wow this was a hell of a read. Sucks how it had to end but glad you got to enjoy the time you had together at least. This is kinda something I’d like to do at some point, romantic getaway where you’re naked all the time etc.

someone at a book company hire this guy I’d read any book you make you’ve clearly got a knack for it
 

DavidXL

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Hi, BDP - I am sorry that something beautiful has turned painful. I understand that he is moving away (and that he is starting the rest of his adult life now that he has finished school). But, why can't you keep up a 2.0 version of your relationship even if different and separated by distance? It seems like some sort of middle ground is possible.
 

Big Dick Pilot

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How did it feel to type that out? Reading it, i can't help but feel like you should be chasing this man you love. I know its complicated, but you only get one life - why not live a life where you can be truly happy.

The complication is neither choice is less desirable than the other.
 

Big Dick Pilot

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Hi, BDP - I am sorry that something beautiful has turned painful. I understand that he is moving away (and that he is starting the rest of his adult life now that he has finished school). But, why can't you keep up a 2.0 version of your relationship even if different and separated by distance? It seems like some sort of middle ground is possible.

Hi DXL – Thank you for the post. During this period, what keeps me going is to focus on the positive and I am very grateful for the time we had together. It was beautiful and I can't imagine having spent it with a guy better than John.

“2.0” is what we want. We may have different definitions of 2.0 than you.

We thought through several scenarios. Spending time together over the past several months with John in the same city has been logistically complex. Adding a transcontinental distance between us makes it even more challenging. I know he wants a committed relationship and wants to spend more time with his partner. Our situation did not allow for that.

John will always have a place in my heart. We both believe we will probably have a lifelong friendship. Our relationship was more to us than friends with benefits and therefore this is more complex than just ceasing all sex. We need to untangle our feelings and emotions, the intimate bond and desires for each other and allow our relationship to evolve into 2.0. For now, the only way we believe this will work is not by cutting ourselves off from each other but by pulling back. We both are calling it “the transition” and are open to adjusting as we go. There are no easy solutions here.

Is this what you meant by “2.0”? Or were you thinking we could maintain a sexual relationship?
 

DavidXL

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Hi DXL – Thank you for the post. During this period, what keeps me going is to focus on the positive and I am very grateful for the time we had together. It was beautiful and I can't imagine having spent it with a guy better than John.

“2.0” is what we want. We may have different definitions of 2.0 than you.

We thought through several scenarios. Spending time together over the past several months with John in the same city has been logistically complex. Adding a transcontinental distance between us makes it even more challenging. I know he wants a committed relationship and wants to spend more time with his partner. Our situation did not allow for that.

John will always have a place in my heart. We both believe we will probably have a lifelong friendship. Our relationship was more to us than friends with benefits and therefore this is more complex than just ceasing all sex. We need to untangle our feelings and emotions, the intimate bond and desires for each other and allow our relationship to evolve into 2.0. For now, the only way we believe this will work is not by cutting ourselves off from each other but by pulling back. We both are calling it “the transition” and are open to adjusting as we go. There are no easy solutions here.

Is this what you meant by “2.0”? Or were you thinking we could maintain a sexual relationship?

Hi, BDP - yes, that's what I meant by 2.0, although I was thinking you could also maintain a sexual relationship where you could meet up a few times a year and maintain what you describe, which being a pilot might allow. I guess I am grasping at possible solutions, because it sounds like you have had a very special relationship and the romantic in me hates to see people swallow up deep feelings in the way that you have had to.

On the other hand, I see the logic in going the way you described, particularly since he wants a committed relationship and you can't offer that. Maybe the greatest gift you can give him is to let him go so he can go off, start fresh, and find a committed relationship and build a life, particularly as he starts a new life in a new city. And it would allow you to focus on your own marriage and what may be going on in that which led you here (which I say without any judgment whatsoever, but rather from the perspective of someone who is married as well and has lost and found his way and lived experiences that are somewhat similar to yours).

It's definitely a tough situation and I wish you the best as you work through this!
 

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Damn @Big Dick Pilot, I didn’t know if I should jack off while reading your update or be sad!

Seriously, thanks for updating us and good luck to you as you work through this. I believe you and John will end up in a healthy, lasting friendship that works for both of you.
 

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The complication is neither choice is less desirable than the other.

Hello my friend... Firstly, I'd like to say thank you for being so honest about your wonderful adventure with this man. Secondly, I'd like to offer some unsolicited advice. Spend more time with him. Spend consistent time with him. Once a month, something, anything. Don't let that wonderful bond break. Life is far too short to let that happen. @Big Dick Pilot you deserve to have this man in your life and you to be in his.

I know it may be difficult and seem overwhelming at times, and it likely is, but it will work out in the end. Just please keep at it with him, emotionally, spiritually, physically, sexually.
 

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Damn @Big Dick Pilot, I didn’t know if I should jack off while reading your update or be sad!

Seriously, thanks for updating us and good luck to you as you work through this. I believe you and John will end up in a healthy, lasting friendship that works for both of you.

@Big Dick Pilot ’s posts frequently make me hard.

I just read his last update. I have no shame. I stroked my cock while reading it.
 
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MarcoJock

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On a serious note, @Big Dick Pilot , thanks for bringing us along on your journey with John. I think you and John did the right thing, as tough as it is. Who knows what the future will bring. I agree that the two of you will be friends with a special bond for years to come.

A lot of your posts over the past few years share a side of you that most men would never talk about. Thanks for opening up and sharing this part of your life with us.
 

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Wow what an awesome update, thanks for sharing this part of your life and journey. What an amazing read horny as all hell, but beautifully written wish you all the best.
 

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Both of us beginning to feel the need for a meal, we decided to clean up and head out for dinner. After showering, I was standing naked at the bathroom counter, brushing my teeth, when John walked in, naked, iPhone in hand and asked about my preference for one of three restaurants he read about. I told him what I thought, he agreed and said we could try the others another night. He put his iPhone down on the counter, stood behind me, his soft cock in the crack of my ass, his hands on my hips and told me he loved me. As I leaned over to rinse, he pulled my ass into him and I felt his cock getting hard. He said, “I also love this” as he spread my ass and his cock head found my hole. When I stood up straight, my back to him, his hands went around to my cock and balls as he nibbled on my ear. I turned around and without saying a word we went to the bed. For the next hour or so we made love, sucking each other, eating each other’s ass, 69’g and fucking each other in multiple positions. We barely said a word. When we came, we were tightly embraced, my legs around him, my dick shooting my load between us and John cumming in my ass. The hot tub had been a warm up. We both needed this expression of love for each other. We cleaned up (again) and headed out for dinner, both of us now starving!

Each day of our trip consisted of getting up early (early mornings in the hot tub with coffee and naked John are awesome!), sex, skiing for a little over a half day, lunch, more sex, hanging out in town or going for a drive, more sex, dinner, hot tub time again, binging on Narcos Mexico while cuddling in front of the fire, more sex, sleeping, and getting up and repeating for the next day. The sex ranged from “I need to suck a load out of your cock” to playful fucks to deeply passionate sessions making love.

On the second night, we had dinner sitting at the bar of a restaurant. There were two guys next to us who were nice looking and probably mid 40’s. We struck up a conversation with them. After chatting with them over drinks and dinner, one of the guys asked how long we’d been together. John and I looked at each other and laughed. The guy said, “You are a couple? Sorry if I got that wrong.” I told him we were and it had been about seven months. I was really taken aback. I didn’t think we gave off a vibe of being a couple and our conversation with these guys was not “couple talk.” And then it dawned on me that maybe these guys were a couple. So I asked them and they said they had been together for 15 years. I asked them why we were giving off a vibe that we were a couple. They laughed and the other guy said it was just gaydar and he could tell we were in love, not so much by anything we said but how we interacted with each other. John said that we’d just fucked each other before dinner and that maybe that look of love was post sex afterglow. I was surprised that he said that, especially in a crowded restaurant and looked around to make sure no one heard what he said. The other guys laughed. It also struck me that it was the first time openly telling someone else that we were having sex. That led into a conversation about how we met, etc. Interestingly, they had met on Craigslist and one of them had been married to a woman. After dinner, we went across the street and had another drink with them in a quieter setting. They were good guys and it was fun to talk with them openly, especially the divorced guy. We wanted to meet up with them again but they said they were flying out the next day. We exchanged numbers and email addresses. The divorced guy sent me a text this week and asked how it was going (re post trip and pulling away from John). We exchanged a few texts. It was nice of him to check in.

Although John and I had a brief trip away a couple of months ago, this was the first time we felt unrushed and could be ourselves, both in private and in public. As with most getaways and vacations, all of the realities of day to day life were lacking, and that made it easier to focus on the two of us. Over the course of the several days together, my attraction to and love for John grew stronger. For him, John said the trip validated what he already knew, his deep love for me.

The last morning we made love for a couple of hours, starting in the hot tub and finishing in bed. It was an incredibly intense session, filled with pleasure and emotion. He came in my ass and then I rolled on top of him and came in his. We’ve done that before but this time was different. The feeling of his body as he came in me. The feeling of him holding onto me and the sensation of his ass around my dick when I came in him. I always felt close to him when we made love but this time was like we were transferring something of each other to the other, creating a unique bond between us. I can’t find words to articulate the feeling.

We quickly cleaned up and packed. On the way to the airport, John asked how many times we’d cum over the past several days. We tried to count the number of loads we swallowed, the number of loads we’d taken in our ass and we couldn’t. We cracked ourselves up trying to recount. We did agree that every load was either swallowed or deposited. Besides sex we talked about what a perfect trip it had been and how good we felt about it. I hung out at John’s gate until he boarded. We gave each other a hug goodbye and a pat on the shoulder. We both held it together. A few minutes later, as I was walking to my gate, a sudden wave of sadness and general feeling of emptiness hit me. That sense of freedom I felt just a few days before was now gone. A piece of me, a part of who I am, was being boxed up and tucked away inside of me. And the guy I love and I were distancing ourselves from each other to do what is right. It was almost overwhelming. I ducked into the men’s room and barely made it into a stall before I lost it. It has been many years since I was that emotional. I stood in the stall and let it all out.

There were several moments over the last week that were rough. Each time I had to pull myself up with thoughts that not only was this the right thing to do but given the experience we had together, there could not have been a better guy than John to have been with and discover this side of me.

I have no idea what this third era will bring. Or where what I have learned and discovered about myself and my sexuality will take me. There have only been two guys in my life I have had feelings for, my tennis coach in college and John. John was the only one I had an opportunity to allow myself to open up and to discover sex and love with. It may never happen again. But what new perspectives will I now have?

John and I exchanged a few texts the middle of last week. I was going to hold off for a week, but on day five he texted me and asked how I was doing. We both kept it light, acknowledged what a great trip it had been and said that we missed each other. The exchange kind of helped and kind of didn’t.

As Bugs Bunny used to say, “That’s all folks.” At least for now.

Wow, that was an incredible read. Thank you for sharing!
 
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TheHorrorPapi

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Wow! I just read ALL the updates....what a wild ride. Did I feel every type of emotion one can possibly feel? You bet your sorry ass I did. This thread left me feeling bitter-sweet, made me reflect on my life and my past relationships. Although I haven’t gone through this personally, I think we can all agree that we all have had a “John” in our lives...wether it be a first love or someone that came into our lives when we weren’t expecting it....the one that got away. What a beautiful, magic love affair...what a sad, beautiful tragic love affair.

BDP, thank you for opening up about something so personal. Wishing you the best in whatever comes next in life. Remember to always follow your heart. After all, we only have one life to live and as the current state of the world shows us, nothing is certain and anything can happen. xo