Encountering an ex... who got super fat!!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by cdog204, Mar 24, 2010.

  1. cdog204

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    (Inspired by the f/date/marry a fat chick thread)

    I recently encountered a young lady, Rebecca, that I used to fuck. I was about 21 and she was about 18 at the time we were together. At the time I would say that I was a lanky 6'1" and 170lbs, she was about 5'6" and barely 120lbs. I'm now pushing 27, same height, and around 180lbs but way more muscular. Rebecca is looking a little shorter than before and she is rolling right around 200lbs and simply lumpy.

    A few weeks ago, a very good friend invited me for drinks at his girlfriend's very swanky apartment. I didn't know that Rebecca would be there (she lives in a different city), nor did I know what she was looking like these days. It was just a small group of friends having some wine. Rebecca ended up telling a story about one of the times that she and I had hooked up some few years ago. I think she was trying to make me look like an ass in some stupid way, but it wasn't too successful.

    So this past weekend, I went to a party with my good friend and his girl, and she brought up Rebecca's story while we were waiting in line to get into the club. She has known me for over a year and she has seen several of the girls that I have dated (all very small and thin) and she said that she was shocked that I had dated Rebecca. Keep in mind that she first met Rebecca at the occasion described above. She has since introduced me to two girls who are quite noticeably overweight. I think she thinks I have a fat fetish or something.

    So...
    -Has anyone else been with a girl that got super-fat after your 'relationship' ended?
    -How does one eloquently disprove a 'chubby chaser' label?
     
  2. hud01

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    ummm I think people are thinking you are a dick for posting this. I am.
     
  3. goodwood

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    cdog -
    hmm. that must have been surprising to see the ex and looking like she was.
    to answer your question; of all my exes that i have run into, none of them have
    blimped out like that. they have all looked pretty good and when friends meet an ex
    of mine they always wonder how in the world is it possible it didn't work out since she was so attractive. no matter how i try to explain how crazy they all were, no one seems to get past the "but she was hot"...
    well, clearly you do like what you like and that is not women that weigh as much as you and that's fine. as long as you know what you like, its fine to let other people know what you like and it seems this new girl doesn't know what you like. so if she doesn't know what you like but saw someone you liked once when she looked a lot differently then its ok to clue her in.
     
    #3 goodwood, Mar 25, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2010
  4. Wish-4-8

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    Not me.
    How is he a dick for posting this question?
     
  5. DiscoBoy

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    You should've told her right away that Rebecca wasn't chubby when you dated her. I think that alone would've been enough to disprove her belief of you as a "chubby chaser".
     
  6. dolfette

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    just tell her she's introducing you to the wrong girls, that you're only attracted to petite girls.
    it ain't rocket science!
     
  7. cdog204

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    I guess the 'emotional' level question that I neglected to mention is that I feel somewhat guilty that Rebecca's fatness is my fault in some way. I wonder if I caused her some sort of emotional trauma that has led to her overeating or something, and that actually (surprisingly) bothers me. Similar to Goodwood above, most of the times that I have encountered an ex or introduced one to friends, the question has more been, "Why would you have ever let her go? Wow." (I've been very fortunate in finding affection from several very very attractive women in the short course of my life...)

    I really don't know who Rebecca may have dated/ fucked after me. She says that she currently has a boyfriend whom she lives with, but none of my friends have ever met him or know anything about him or know exactly when they met. I'm somewhat concerned that she ballooned up after me, and I'm quite honestly upset that I did something that got her so fucked up that it caused this. Even though I very admittedly dumped her (probably for no good reason), I will feel terrible if it is somehow my fault that she got all fat and gross. She's still young and it would suck to throw away everything because I was a dick to her in some stupid college relationship, but then again I probably am the worst person to be trying to help her if I am indeed the reason behind all this. I don't know. This is bothering me in a way that I would have never expected...
     
  8. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    when she mentioned that she was surprised you dated rebecca you should have been all "ewwww nah she was skinny i dont fuck fat chicks just look at how muscular i am. in fact, i am so insulted i am going to run home and log on to a sex themed message board and post about this" she would then have had the good since to never waste any of her friends' time by setting them up with you.
     
  9. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    dude you didnt cause rebecca to be fat. a lot of girls blow up in their 20s. most of them are perfectly stable emotionally
     
  10. ferfed

    ferfed <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi
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    yeah man ^ what brett farv said
     
  11. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    I found an old girlfriend from college on Facebook. She doubled her weight since I dated her. She went from 110 to over 230 pounds after we parted company.

    Cdog, you don't need to prove anything to anybody. You know what you find attractive - regardless of what anybody else says.
     
  12. TastyFox

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    CDog--I am stalking you (lol). No, actually, we just shared some chat in the chat room on here and I wanted to know more about you. That is how I found this post, and I feel compelled to write. I do not discount your genuine anguish and you are obviously upset deeply about seeing your ex and the fact that she is much larger now. I am adding my own story because I want you to perhaps understand that you are not responsible for anyone but yourself--regardless of what you may or may not have done in the past in hurting your ex.

    I am a single woman, and I am also considered a BBW. I was super skinny (stick thin) my whole life until right after college, and I had a desk job and started filling out a little. I looked great for another ten years until I had a back injury that left me bedridden for four months and I spent another month essentially re-learning how to walk. My metabolism changed completely. I started gaining weight.
    I cannot BLAME any of my weight on anyone but myself---it is my own responsibility. Yes, I have had a break-up that was emotionally devastating---the guy was the guy I would have married--and he is now gay. I have to own up to the fact that I essentially had a few years (yes--I said years) that I "let myself go" because I was miserable, hurt, devastated, apathetic, and lost. But my ex was not to blame for that---we all make choices.
    Thankfully, I am on track again, exercising and trying to eat in a more healthy manner--but I am still a BBW. Yes, I would prefer to be slim again--but most likely I will always be plump and voluptuous. My boobs are an amazing DD and guys love them. I still have great legs---but I am thick in the middle. I have learned to love who I am and also to be confident and to revel in my sexuality and curves. Having self-confidence shows, and it is reflected in the attention I get from very hot younger guys who have awesome bodies. I realized this past year, after coming out of a long self-imposed celibacy and breaking free of sexual repression--that TONS of guys love us curvy women. We are hella sexy!
    Part of your thread was a little disturbing though--regarding you feeling like you have to tell your friend that you are not a "chubby chaser." I think it is 100% ok to have preferences in body form/shape/size. In fact, preferences should be honored and celebrated. That is why I am on here--I like men with big dicks, among other things. But you feeling like you have to explain to your friend smacks a little bit of insecurity and you worrying about your self-image. Why should you give a shit what ANYONE says about anyone you date, past, present, or future? Yes, of course, tell your friend that you PREFER thin girls. But I do not think you need to "explain" that the ex used to be skinny years ago when you dated her---that makes you sound extremely shallow NOW.

    May I add a suggestion? Have you ever thought about apologizing to your ex for how you treated her? It may really mean something to her, even though it is years later. Also, it may help you forgive yourself for dumping her in a way that you know was wrong. For some reason---I have Alanis Morrisette's famous song "You outta know" in my head. Forgiving yourself means healing and moving on. Maybe the Universe brought her into your life at this time to teach you a lesson that will enable you to grow and be a better person.
    Lastly, do not listen to people on here who slam you for expressing anything. The internet is an open forum and you should be able to express your feelings, and concerns without being ridiculed. There is nothing wrong with sharing deeply personal things here and it is a great way to reach out to others in a POSITIVE way.
    I hope to chat with you again, and don't beat yourself up about this.
     
  13. Guy-jin

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    Tasty, this thread is two years old. Maybe he's changed in that much time. Who doesn't, right?
     
  14. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    I like the above,

    regardless I'm somewhat the same as the OP and most girls I knew from highschool either gained some or a lot of weight.
    Those skinny genes only help up to around 21 after that you have to work to stay in shape which most people neglect to do.
    And in stead of being proud of who they are an/or working out they have become supreme masters at hiding those extra layers of fat.

    I too have played an important part in the choices one of my exes has made regarding her body and even though I share some responsibility she is responsible for the choices she does or doesn't make.
    You didn't pull out a gun on her head and told her to get fat did you?
    I use my breakups as times to re evaluate and reflect on myself and where I can perform better like working on my body in the gym.
    Others choose to stuff themselves with food and sit in front of a tv moping or mutilate themselves but you did not do this to them.
     
  15. MickeyLee

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    y'all are just too damn in love with yaself. :rolleyes::rofl:
     
  16. Guy-jin

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    Mick lets make a pact. If by the time were thirty neither of us is married we tie the knot
     
  17. Fade

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    You slut, Guy-jin! How dare you! *storms off in a jealous rage* :tongue:
     
  18. MickeyLee

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    *raises hand* i am all for open marriages... there is no reason all of Mr. Guy's proposals can't be honored.

    anyway, man-slut is endearing on him
     
  19. Guy-jin

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    How did you find out my secret identity as Man-Slut, the awesomest of the Dark Avengers???
     
  20. Fade

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    Oh good, so long as we all share well :redface:

    I knew I saw a caped crusader with an enormous bulge -somewhere- recently! :biggrin1:
     
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