Me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for around 15-16 months. Lived together for probably around 8-9 months. The majority of the relationship we rarely fought or had any problems. I noticed in late August she seemed more distant less like her first I was told she was on her period (which she rarely has) next week she's sick. The third week I start thinking something is wrong so I try to show her I appreciate her by buying her coffee, bringing her home flowers, cleaning the whole house, etc. During this week and the next she's spins off on little things - I try to approach her at times she gets defensive and shuts down conversations. The last week I try talking to her she starts saying things like "I don't think you understand sometimes two people can both be great and not be together." If I ask if she's wanting to break up (I admit her I would get teared up) she would respond "No you are the only one saying that."
I woke up super early the next morning and decided to look her on phone. I had noticed she been on it a lot more and been taking it with her everywhere. I honestly assumed I'd see text to her friends "this rumbaed ain't figured out I'm mad about _______" or in worst casr to her aunt a plan to move out. Well she been out of town the previous week at her friend _______. When I don't see nothing from her closest friends I look at _______ text and all iit says is "don't do the sex don't do the sex" ....than it dawned on me up top was a text message from a Guy who I did not know. I looked most of it was just talk but one text said "I don't want you just sexually but everyway possible" "I know you have a boyfriend" and "wish I could see you too" I was so mad the only response I can remember from her was "yea, wish I could see you to".
Needless to say I confronted her. She said she would text him to tell him it was wrong and stopped. She loved me. I told her we would have to discuss it but people make mistakes and I wouldn't hold it over her head (I had to go to work), but I didn't want her to go back to her friend _______ house the next weekend. I get home and ask her about the what sh e's going to do about the trip. She precedes to tell me that She's been.having doubts about our relationship for a month not sure why etc. I spoke with her Monday so I would have a chance to say any last things and try to get a few answers.
Basically she said she has no idea what caused the doubts, she tried ignoring them, but they wouldn't go away. She even admitted that had she talked to me about them things would have gotten better, but she thinks eventually would have got the same and we would have another talk then things would get better (repeat and repay) She doesn't think relationships should work that way. The disagreement that night stems from our activity she said I'd rather sit on the couch than do something with her.She also made reference to I needing to move on (but only after I blurted my friends are trying to set me up on blind dates).. I went trough a two.month funk because of work and I think she always though it had to do with her. I got to the point where I just wanted to to sit at home and zone out. I took steps to.iimprove the situation and now of course too late it is. The only other big complaints I remember of her was that if we did anything she had to start it (which as true during the funk) and I was always working or on my phone to much (also true. I admit it.) However, I frequently took her out to eat, movies, saw friends and family. Buying her flowers, coffee, etc wasnt unusual. During the start of the rocky period I remember her making the comment "if we broke up I don't think you would even try to pursue me" out of the blue one night....Which leads me to my questions:
Is there a chance she wants me to try to pursue her or does she really want it to be over with? Its been kind of a public break up because of Facebook relationship status changes. My friends and familu are all like delete her from Facebook, ignore her, nothing will get to her more and you are better off trying to move on. Howcer if this could be an.issue of does he really want me than shouldn't I be trying?? I'm not sure what to do.
I woke up super early the next morning and decided to look her on phone. I had noticed she been on it a lot more and been taking it with her everywhere. I honestly assumed I'd see text to her friends "this rumbaed ain't figured out I'm mad about _______" or in worst casr to her aunt a plan to move out. Well she been out of town the previous week at her friend _______. When I don't see nothing from her closest friends I look at _______ text and all iit says is "don't do the sex don't do the sex" ....than it dawned on me up top was a text message from a Guy who I did not know. I looked most of it was just talk but one text said "I don't want you just sexually but everyway possible" "I know you have a boyfriend" and "wish I could see you too" I was so mad the only response I can remember from her was "yea, wish I could see you to".
Needless to say I confronted her. She said she would text him to tell him it was wrong and stopped. She loved me. I told her we would have to discuss it but people make mistakes and I wouldn't hold it over her head (I had to go to work), but I didn't want her to go back to her friend _______ house the next weekend. I get home and ask her about the what sh e's going to do about the trip. She precedes to tell me that She's been.having doubts about our relationship for a month not sure why etc. I spoke with her Monday so I would have a chance to say any last things and try to get a few answers.
Basically she said she has no idea what caused the doubts, she tried ignoring them, but they wouldn't go away. She even admitted that had she talked to me about them things would have gotten better, but she thinks eventually would have got the same and we would have another talk then things would get better (repeat and repay) She doesn't think relationships should work that way. The disagreement that night stems from our activity she said I'd rather sit on the couch than do something with her.She also made reference to I needing to move on (but only after I blurted my friends are trying to set me up on blind dates).. I went trough a two.month funk because of work and I think she always though it had to do with her. I got to the point where I just wanted to to sit at home and zone out. I took steps to.iimprove the situation and now of course too late it is. The only other big complaints I remember of her was that if we did anything she had to start it (which as true during the funk) and I was always working or on my phone to much (also true. I admit it.) However, I frequently took her out to eat, movies, saw friends and family. Buying her flowers, coffee, etc wasnt unusual. During the start of the rocky period I remember her making the comment "if we broke up I don't think you would even try to pursue me" out of the blue one night....Which leads me to my questions:
Is there a chance she wants me to try to pursue her or does she really want it to be over with? Its been kind of a public break up because of Facebook relationship status changes. My friends and familu are all like delete her from Facebook, ignore her, nothing will get to her more and you are better off trying to move on. Howcer if this could be an.issue of does he really want me than shouldn't I be trying?? I'm not sure what to do.
Last edited by a moderator:
