Ended my marriage for posting?

[grilditz]

Someone made a post about using extra marital cocksuckers on another thread in this same heading. I responded about a story i had when i was 18 and fresh out of the military and letting a guy do it once while i was loaded. I wasn't proud of it but it happened.

I'm married now and we have had our up's and down's. Mostly downs. The sex when we met was great. i love my wife dearly and do not stray at all and never will. Anyways, she found my post while snooping around here because apparently theres a trust issue. I stated what had happened and thats not what pissed her off. What made it bad was at the end I stated the the sex is sub par and when she can't have sex because of back problems, urinary tract infections, i ask for the occasional blow job, hand job. I asked for a hand job the other day and she replied "i may get carpal tunnel syndrome". This is the kind of shit that goes on all the time. I stated "do i need to find a man to suck my dick because of my wifes inablity to do so"? It was taken that i was cheating on her. what gets me is she hates computers but she knew how to get to my post and i know shes had help from her friend which they did in the past. I do not lie or hide shit from her and never have except this website but i only come here to read others stories and maybe learn something from them ONLY to improve my marriage which didn't happen here.

Shes very attractive and i love her with all my heart but we fight constantly because she has severe depression issues. it's ruining me and our marriage. her sex drive went from 100% to 0% after her last back surgery over a year and a half ago and she hurts alot. Shes on pain medication. I know i'm rambling here folks but i have no-where else to turn except for the forums that possibly ended my marriage. i try to talk to her about things but shes told me shes percieved as a "piece of meat". I buy her flowers, tell her shes beautiful, whatever i can do to let her know i love her and i care deeply for her but nothing works. she doesn't like that sort of thing. it's a long long story but the fundemental core of our relationship woe's are affection. she is incapable of giving it i feel and i come last to her. we we're doing a bit better after a huge fight 2 weeks ago until she went for some unknown reason snooping around here yesterday and found my post and packed her shit went to a friends and basically told the world of my post.

yes im guilty of not telling her about this site but when shit like sex gets brought up, i've learned it's best not to say anything because it turns into a fight and she feels like i'm attacking her and it just drives her farther away. she has told me that i should be more than happy with sex once a week and that sometimes foreplay could last an entire week. Foreplay for an entire week???? i can't live like this and don't know what to do. the thing that hurts most is that was a pretty dark secret i laid out here but i guess i'm the one to blame for typing it for the world to see. what bothers me is she went and told her best friend after she spazzed out instead of talking to me and thinks i'm going to cheat on her which was not the case and i would never do that. now her family is involved because I think her friend opened her big goddamn mouth which she had zero right to do. how do i handle this? if i sound insensitive here you don't know the whole story and i'd be happy to elaborate. my 15 month marriage has surmounted to this "look but don't touch". she even admitted to me that she used her pain as a crutch to not be intimate in any sort of way. i tell her i don't need sex if we could mess around and do other things but that never happens either and i'm made to feel ashamed for advances towards her. i bend over backwards for this woman and wait on her hand and foot. shes the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing i think of when i go to bed.

After what happened yesterday my friends and family are telling me to kick her to the curb and let her deal with her depression issues on her own because shes dragging us both down. she says she loves me and wants space but i'm on the road alot and i come home after 3 days of being away and i miss her dearly and she doesn't even act like shes glad to see me. i have told her this a thousand times and even sought counseling with her and it's kinda improves until we fight again. she needs medication badly but she refuses to take anti depresents froma past bad experience with them and just takes pain pills. she told me tonight she was going to go get on some tomorrow but is it unfair for me to request such a thing? the pain pills have caused her sex drive to drop to 0%. she can't even shit regulary. she might go as long as 5 or 6 days without shitting because of the pain pills. it's unreal to watch. she used to have a great sex drive and masturbate daily on top of sex. i have asked her if shes bored with me and she just tells me "i don't know". she can't even give me a straight answer. i have talked to her friends that have known her all her life and they say she was super depressed even as a small child. i'm really needing some feedback folks. sorry for the long post but my heart is breaking here.

i also have 3 children from a previous marriage and shes great with them and they love her dearly. it makes it that much harder because i don't get to see them very much and my wife is all i have and i feel like i'm a 1,000 miles away sometimes when i lay next to her. i just want to die anymore because i refuse to let her give up. she said she just wants to hang out and be married but i don't want to just hang out. i want to l-i-v-e but she lays in bed all day and watches t.v. we hardly go on dates but i do try to get her out of the house. am i way off base her because from what everyone tells me i'm not. theres so much more to tell but the post is already long enough and the tears are welling up in my eyes and its late and i haven't slept in 2 days and i feel like i'm gonna lose it.

if you Do read this one angel, i love you with all my heart but i just don't know anymore. i guess water and oil do not mix.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

I really believe you could benifit from counseling honey.
It doesn't seem like there is anything to hold on to anymore and my suggestion is that you get up,get your kids and start living again without all the bs.
I'd be happy to talk to privately about some of her issues that I have in common such as pain meds and many the many surgeries that I have had {5 last year}
I just can't see any reason to subject yourself or the children to all the drama between you.
Please don't kill yourself think about what you could have if you start anew.I take the strongest pain meds available and it can make you blocked up but that goes away with constant use and a half decent diet. I think not wanting to take anti-depressents is a cop out on her part. Why wouldn't she want to get better?
As for the sex life perhaps she never really liked it all that much I don't know but it has never affected me that way.
Even though it may be different for her and I'm sure it is, I still see an unwillingness to help herself. seriously consider cutting your losses if she won't see a therapist and get on pysch drugs.
Do you really want to continue to live like this? Finding that your on LPSG isn't a reason to leave someone unless you had it in mind to get out anyway.Plus your kids deserve much more than all this chaos.
Sorry I wish I had a better feeling about this.
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Please go for counseling. Life is worth living. Your kids need their dad, and you need help to find your happiness again.

 

[grilditz]

the babies live with me ex-wife. i get asked by everyone why i still love her. what do you love about her? i can't answer these questions. i just know that i do and with all my heart. it's pure, like an unstoppable force. the thing is she brags to me about how shes treated other guys like dirt in past relationships.

my best friend thinks she has guy issues or hates men. i know she loves me but just not in the affectionate way that i would like. when i tell her i love her she says "thanks" or "ok". it hurts so bad and i've told her about this a thousand times and all i get was "i wasn't that way growing up" so accept it. shes told me that i go well over 100% in the relationship so she doesn't have to do anything or come half way because i won't let her. i don't get it. i just feel like i'm doomed to neevr be loved the way i want or i feel i deserve and i'm going to die a lonely old man and it's tearing my guts out.

I was abused growing up and she knows this but i think i've turned out ok and i show pure un-adulterated affection without any problems. why can't she?

P.S. ****I'm not going to commit suicide. no-one is worth that as i have had alot of good friends die this way and i want to see my kids grow up. i just want my angelbutt to be there with me.*******

 

[B_cigarbabe]

Oh babe I feel for you.
This woman cannot make it any clearer that she does not loveor like you much.
Stop deluding yourself and please get some counseling for yourself.
You must face facts. I think sometimes when you've been abused you tend to end up with a partner who treats you like the abuser did and many refuse to recognize this.
Try and see a therapist it will make you feel better and help you to see clearly.
C.B.:saevil:

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

You need some counseling. She needs counseling and medication. Wierd side effects or not there are a bunch of antidepressant meds out there. Keep trying to find one that works with the least amount of side effects. Part of her reactions are probably depression related others are probably how she truely feels about the relationship.

The trust issue, well that's not a good sign for any relationship. If there isn't trust I don't think there can be a relationship.

Sometimes you can love someone for all your worth but they aren't ready or capable of giving it back. Moving on to find someone that can give back is the hardest part. You said you can't live this way.


And don't be afraid to cry or feel bad about crying, an emotional cry releases some brain chemicals and reduces your stress.

 

[SCSea]

I'm sorry, any person who holds such contempt for you that a handjob comes with some bitchy excuse about carpal tunnel is not worthy of your time or attention in an attempt at rebuilding. That's a comment that cuts to the core of her character, and it's not worth your sanity to remain civil towards her in the name of maintaining her relationship with your children.

Losses. Cut them and move on.

 

[grilditz]

I really believe you could benifit from counseling honey.
It doesn't seem like there is anything to hold on to anymore and my suggestion is that you get up,get your kids and start living again without all the bs.
I'd be happy to talk to privately about some of her issues that I have in common such as pain meds and many the many surgeries that I have had {5 last year}
I just can't see any reason to subject yourself or the children to all the drama between you.
Please don't kill yourself think about what you could have if you start anew.I take the strongest pain meds available and it can make you blocked up but that goes away with constant use and a half decent diet. I think not wanting to take anti-depressents is a cop out on her part. Why wouldn't she want to get better?
As for the sex life perhaps she never really liked it all that much I don't know but it has never affected me that way.
Even though it may be different for her and I'm sure it is, I still see an unwillingness to help herself. seriously consider cutting your losses if she won't see a therapist and get on pysch drugs.
Do you really want to continue to live like this? Finding that your on LPSG isn't a reason to leave someone unless you had it in mind to get out anyway.Plus your kids deserve much more than all this chaos.
Sorry I wish I had a better feeling about this.
cigarbabe:saevil:

She has been seeing a pain psychologist for about 6 months or more now. He helps her alot she says. she feels good after talking with him. My whole thing at this point is now I have to be around her friends after all this and she doesn't realize what kind of damage that has done by showing that post. it was something very deep and dark and i planned on taking to the grave about getting oral from another guy and i'm deeply hurt that she just blabbed about it. but like I said, her excuse for doing it was because she though i was going to find another man to blow me because she won't. her family is involved although i hope they never find out about my post but even if they do?? her father called earlier and wanted to come pick her up and take her home. i said i don't care what you do anymore. it was the hardest thing driving away and not hugging her or telling her i love her but it never gets reciprocated back anyways so whatever i guess.

it's just hard knowing her family KNOWS we got problems and fight now because they always have those suspicious thoughts. her friends have told her that she should leave but i'm NOT going to feel like the bad guy here. i've put up with SO MUCH BULLSHIT for the last year only to have what i posted here tossed back in my face like i'm cheating on her which i'm not and never was going to. My marriage counselor said when she feels attacked or whatever she has a habit of turning shit around on me and i feel like the asshole for having thoughts and emotions. she said she feels like i'm hiding shit from her but when we do talk it turns into a fight and we've beat the sex thing to death so i turned to these forums for guidance and maybe knowledge.

i went as far as telling her i don't think i need medication but i would get on it and be as high as a kite so when she doesn't tell me she loves me it doesn't sting or hurt as bad as it normally does. she admits she has depression issues and is VERY selfish and self-centered. i'm like FIX IT THEN FOR FUCKS SAKE. i don't ask her to cook, clean, work. i just ask her to love me and be affectionate and i'll do everything else. we have major communication issue's because i get over emotional. i say apples she hears oranges and vice versa. i'm not pointing all the blame at her because it takes to to make it or break it but goddamn. i just don't know if i have the strength for this shit anymore.

 

[Xcuze]

First of all, get some sleep! Problems always seem much worse when youre sleep deprived. As for your relationship; its gonna be one hell of an uphill struggle to make it work from what youve written here. You have to decide if its really worth the pain & effort. Are you really good for each other? She seems to have a lot of issues & you may be too close to her to help. You may love her enough to fight for the relationship but are you sure she feels the same way? Its a complex problem & no-one here is qualified to give you all the answers. But sometimes in life you have to find the strength to break unhealthy relationships. Good luck.

 

[2322]

First off.....

Cigarbabe is a real, genuine, 100% bona fide woman. I know because I've met her in-person as have several other people here at LPSG. She's what she is here. No bullshit.

Second.....

You said that before all the pain meds she was randy and happy and you were getting along well. To me, this points to a problem with the medication. All the symptoms you're describing resemble symptoms of taking opiods including the problem with being regular.

Pain killers screw with your head, not just the body. They are natural depressants. If you can, I'd view this as a situation of illness. Your wife is ill and you're reacting to her as if she was healthy. One of the hardest things to do with loved ones is to understand the difference between your loved one talking and the illness talking. I've been through this with depression. It's very difficult to understand and react appropriately when your loved one is under the influence of an illness. We understand kids are cranky and demanding when they're sick or when someone has an illness we can see or comprehend better.

I would urge you to try very hard to remind yourself that your wife is under the influence of drugs which help her in some ways but also have a marked effect on her mental state. My suggestion is for both of you to visit a pain specialist and explain very clearly what is going on and see if there aren't other alternatives to what she's taking now. There may be other drugs she can try that won't have such an effect.

It might be really difficult for you to grasp this. It might be next to impossible to appreciate how so much of her life might be colored by these drugs and how being angry with her only increases her depressive symptoms. My guess is that she's frustrated and suspicious because she's disappointed in your lack of understanding as she's disappointed in her lack of being the wife she wants to be. When we fail at something, we become very irritated at being reminded of it constantly to the point we begin blaming the person we've disappointed because facing the reality is just too awful.

That's not to say it's all entirely her fault. You speak of her as if she's in her right mind and she clearly isn't. It's like becoming angry with a paraplegic for being unable to climb stairs. She's got a debilitating problem even though you can't see it by looking at her.

Antidepressants aren't all that great. They can help steady the ship enough to allow you to get to the helm, but they can't steer the ship to safe harbor in the storm. That's up to you and your wife. Working together you might find a way to beat this. She'll need your understanding, you'll need her to be willing to find a way out of the cycle of pain killers. If you want the woman you married, as she wants to find the husband she married, then you both must work to find a solution as a team, not separately.

I do suggest talking to cigarbabe. She's been there, done that. I can't think of a better person who can tell you what it's like.

Good luck!

 

[grilditz]

One thing that may clairfy is I was goign thru my divorce with my ex when I met my current wife. It was a miserable 9 year existence. i guess i'm at fault because I bounced right out of one and into another.

My ex-wife was a mormon and we could not meet eye to eye on anything. It's out of control when I couldn't have a cold 6 pack of beer in our house without being yelled at for it.

I met my current wife and I guess I have alone issue's. I cannot be alone. We dated for about 7 months and she had all the qualities that I wanted and thought she was a perfect fit for what I had always been looking for. Laid back, fun, like to drink and just hang out. she makes these comments "shes training" me to people and at first I thought it was cute. But in all actuality I have been trained to be a deaf & dumb idiot completley omit of all thoughts rational. She has brought out quailites in me I didn't think possible.

I have changed for her so much. she wants space. more space and more space. she hates it when i come and lay across her but i need her so badly. she gets mad if I stare at her for gods sake and she really is a beautiful woman. was i just attracted to her looks? i mean if i had seen she would turn out like this i wouldn't have bothered with her. she was really fun and kinda full of life when we met then it just went down hill after her back got worse. and i feel so horrible like i'm pushing her. she said she feels pressured all the time to perform but i cannot lay in bed all day and watch t.v.

u have to look at it from her perspective. she's 29 can't ride a horse, in a car for long periods. can't jump on a trampoline. she can't do much of anything without pain and i feel so bad and i just wanted to help her and give her as best of a life as i could. i meant what i said that if she was burned beyond recognition in a horrible fire i'd still love her but i think she doesn't believe me. i know shes a great person and she has these flashes. she said i smother her but i told her that i may get 30 seconds of the "old her i fell in love with" or maybe even 5 minutes during the day and i want to be there and not miss it because it makes me so happy.

so if i smother her i guess i don't know what to do. as she drifted farther the other way i could not help thinking it was something i did so i began picking up her side of the relationship as well as mine and i was told she didn't think it was possible but she told me "i love her to much". i didn't think that was possible but i guess it is.

shes on tramadol which is the lowest pain meds available. it's not even narcotic and she only takes them to dull the pain. she never full on goes all out so shes constantly hurting. it's to the point with sex i told her thats i think shes just going thru the motions with me. she is highly intelligent and admits i have needs to thats shes trying her best to accomodate. shes on a muscle relaxer also name i forgot and ambien to help her sleep. she has a deviated septum so she has trouble breathing so i bought her nose strips which sorta help until we can get her nose fixed. the kicker part is she decided to go ahead and get her fusion this month. in about a week from now. we're broke and i told her i can't finalcially do this alone anymore but she can't work due to the obvious pain issues so she decided might as well do it. now in my mind i was hoping this would make things better provided it worked but she got mad one day and told me i was dumb because this wasn't the cure-all.

i said it's gotta be better than the path we are going. i have spoke with my brother at length and he feels shes a hypochondriac (sp) and the way she feels and acts towards me should be percieved as shes taking advantage of me and in my tiny little mind i'm not smart enough to realize this. shes a strange girl. she never planned on getting married and i honestly believe her when shes says shes not taking advantage of me but why is it so hard for someone to tell you they love you? so hard to show appreciation for the shit you do. i put her above everyone else and ashamed to say sometimes even my children. i tell her this and she tells me i'm dumb for doing that but i'm trying so hard to win her affection that i don;t know what else to do. i guess in my mind i know my kids will always love me no matter what so i'm trying to concentrate on the task at hand and thats her.

i asked her to dance with me one night to a slow country song and just let me hold her close. she refused because "she don't like to dance'. talk about stubborn. I couldn't even get her to dance with me at our wedding! pissed off my family and they began to be suspicious. i have random people walk up to me and ask me what the hell is wrong with her because she acts like shes gonna die or not having fun but thats just the way she is and i defend her but when i bring it up to her it starts a fight.

this whole thing is beyond retarded and she cries and says she loves me more than anything and i do believe her. you have to know this woman to understand i guess. she doesn't just love someone so she can say she loves them. shes also one of those types than can have sex with someone and not fall in love or see it as serious. i cannot do that. we are complete opposites in alot of areas but i try to be open minded about her pain. she was dating another guy when i met her but she dumped him for me. she said no other guy has ever been patient and waited for her and thats why she fell in love with me. so where has the patience gone? if we can't have sex and i don't want to force myself on her then why can't we just mess around and do other shit? she says it always leads to sex. i can;t help that i'm extremely attracted to her and it's hard not to want sex. i have bouts of depression and always have but not like this. so i guess i'm an asshole and my patience is gone now? is this whole thing all my fault because as my counselor says, you want something you can't have? he said i don't think it's not that she DOESN'T wants to give you what you need, it's just that she CAN'T. shes just not wired that way.

a friend asked me "can you be miserable with her or miserable without her". i just don't know anymore. i want this to work so bad but i'm aging myself and i have so much love to give but it's like i'm told to stuff it. i feel like i'm goign to burst at the seams sometimes i love her so much and i can't contain it and it's so un-natural for me to try and hide it or go jerkoff or run around the block 20 times as she tells me to do. it's just utter bullshit to me i have to live like this.

 

[grilditz]

Oh and one last thing. I was asked if I was bi-curious today. never thought i'd EVER be accused or asked that in my entire fucking life from my wife. i don't know HOW but gay porn sites keep ending up in my browser history. My brother said just delete the history but since I have nothing to hide why should i?

As if saying do i need to find a man to blow because my wife won't me wasn't bad enough, she then went to some adult match web site which she has accused me in the past of doing which I NEVER did and typed in something and WHAM! up popped something to the effect of "looking for gay guys in another town 150 miles from here" where i end up staying all the time. I try to explain those search engines are based off your IP addy which in turn is based off your zip code so if you went to the EXACT SAME WEBSITE say in Dallas Texas, the same damn thing would pop up but would say "looking for gay guys in Dallas Texas".

I'm like duuude. seriously. i'm totally into my wife, do not want my dick sucked by another person BUT my wife. no part of my body will EVER touch another human being except my hand shaking someone elses hand or a pat on the back.

I asked her tonight point blank, do you feel because you cannot give me what i need that you have an issue that i'm going to cheat on you? i already knew the answer but thankfully she confirmed my suspicions by answering yes. I wish there we're do-overs because i would have never posted that here. i should have kept that totally to myself because it just gave her ammunition to accuse me of infidelity.

i just thought things like that could be safely shared here and i didn't think that my actions would warrant suspicion on her part. i'm totally into my wife and come home to her and no-one else and never would. i guess i don't know how to fix it besides saying i'm sorry but i can't change what i did in the past but it was an open ended question. my older brother is gay and when i told him of this he laughed his ass off and said there are millions of guys who are straight and married that get someone else to suck them off because they do not get it at home. he then mentioned that he might have did it a time or two lol. i for one are not one of these people and never planned on it but to each their own i guess.

I got as many people telling me to duck and ran as I do stay and work it out. I have been trying for a year to no avail but god I can't get enough of this woman. I want to make it work so bad. if I could just figure out how....

Unless what you have read here says otherwise please feel free to elaborate. my relationship has become almost as null and void as yanking petals off a daisy going "she loves me, she loves me not". the wife is very cold and manipulative and self centered and i don't like that. she said she is working on it and yes the past couple weeks have been great but then she keeps digging around looking for shit. i mean i can't be mad that she found it. i guess i'm glad that is out in the open because if there is ONE person i would have told that to it would be her since i don't hide shit but it was just so hard. i didn't know how. i just didn't let it go at sharing my story of a past "one and only" experience with another man. but i HAD to toss in at the end "should i find another man to blow me to surpress my urges"? as dumb as this sounds "IF" i did it, it would only be under the premise that it would take the heat off her shoulders and she wouldn't feel pressured. is that a chicken-shit thing to say? i'm not trying to make excuses but i love her that much that to avoid a fight i would do the unthinkable with another man if need be just so she could feel secure and not pressured to do something which she doesn't want to do with me? does that make sense to anyone? or is that a childish way of saying "it's your fault I cheated"??

but running and blabbing about it to her friend is just so disturbing to me. it's like it went one step to far. i can see where she thought i would do that but for gods sakes to not confront me about it and go and blab is just fucking unreal. they say hell hath no fury like a woman scored i guess. i'm seriously hurt by this now and i don't know what can repair the damage granted i wrote it but she didn't have to tell fucking people which mind you, have less than desirable moral standards themselves and have zero goddamn right to judge me. i'm far from perfect but to me a perfect world is living in harmony with my wife. thats all i want. why is it so fucking hard?

 

[erratic]

You need to set boundaries, dude. You need to set goals and tell her that if those goals are not met you're going to walk. You need to give dates for when those goals need to be met. You need to be clear which goals are negotiable and which are not.

On her behalf, you need to continue to understand that pain meds can mess people up. She also needs to know that antidepressants are not all the same and if she needs them she can try different ones. Further, encourage her to set boundaries and goals that make sense for her, and which ones for her are negotiable and which are not.

Finally, you have to be firm with your boundaries, goals and deadlines, and with the consequences if they are missed or broken: You walk.

Both of you deserve better.

 

[erratic]

P.S. Advice is always easier said than done. No matter what you do it's a hard road. Try to go easy on yourself.

 

[MistressDD]

I feel very sad for you and I wish you all the best, but I think that it might not be a bad idea to let it settle and try to be dealt with on your own terms away from eachother. Then try to talk about it, go to see someone together, or something, just not right now. She is taking things way too out of proportion and that isn't going to change until she comes to it on her own.

I hope it works out!

 

[nicenycdick]

It is clear to me that the problem here for you...is YOU. You have to ask yourself why you continue to blindly adore a person who treats you as you say she does. It doesn't even matter who is at fault.

If all you say is an accurate representation of what is going on (and only YOU know that for sure), then why do you remain? I know...you love her, and love is something worth fighting for. But it seems to me that you are accepting a situation that is demeaning to you and one that can only end badly. Why would you do this? You should conside therapy...not for your marriage but in order to answer this question: Why do you continue to "adore" someone who is emotionless, distant and hurtful? Why are you attracted to such a person?

In the end, you can only be responsible for the things YOU do in life...you can not induce fundamental change in another person. To attempt to do so will leave you emotionally exhausted and filled with anger.

Examine yourself...and make the moves that maximize your happiness and your ability to care for your kids. This is what matters in life.

Good luck.

 

[Insanedragon]

I feel for you to, but I'd just dump her ass just like that. I've been in many relationships good and bad and I think she is abusing you and enjoys it. You are right about rebound relationships, they are almost never what they seem in the beginning. You have to deal with stuff as you go or you will get buried in shit in the end. Besides for the children sake, don't let the fighting or bad feelings go on, I know from personal experience how bad it affects children to have their parents at odds with each other. And best of all you can get to know your self better enjoy the rest of your family and move on to bigger and better things. If its meant to be, and I'm sure it is, you will meet the right person at the right time and you will be ready. Best luck from a neighbor.

 

[MarkLondon]

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in. But I don't think you realise just how mentally ill your wife is, and probably always has been. I feel this marriage is capable of destroying you. If she won't get help, you MUST get out. She probably won't get help, her family and friends seem complicit in her condition.

You also need help. You must find out why you are prepared to put up with such behaviour and attitude. Even though she is loveless, neglectful, scornful and has no respect for you or your privacy, you seem to blame yourself. You ended your marriage by posting truthfully and honestly in a safe forum about a single incident in your past, long before you met her? I think not. She'd have found something to beat you with anyway. And for her to make it public speaks volumes about her abusive nature.

Somewhere, there is a woman that would appreciate a kind loving man like you and reciprocate your love instead of absorbing and draining you like an emotional vampire.

I wouldn't normally speak so forthrightly, especially on the subject of a heterosexual marriage. But I think this is an emergency, and you need to wake up to the reality of the situation. She IS abusing you. Consciously or not. And there is nothing YOU can do about it - if she doesn't take steps to change herself you must protect yourself by leaving. Soon. Very soon.

My best wishes for you and your future.

 

[LoveBlueEyes]

Pics of hot wife???

 

[dirj99]

From reading your posts, you are in quite a situation. It sounds like you love your wife very much. However, it seems like she is not reciprocating that love (not just the refusal of sex). Others have strongly suggested counseling but for counseling to work, both parties have got to want it to work. Just from your posts, it seems that she does not want it to work.

Maybe you should turn the table on her. Instead of coming in a being the loving, caring, flowers and gifts husband, maybe you should become disinterested in her (easier said than done when you love someone). Ignore her. Don't initiate any physical contact. Act as though you are roommates and nothing more. This will either make her wake up and realize she is driving you away or she may decide in her head that you are cheating on her. Either way, life is way too short to deal with things like that. Chances are the behavior will continue.

Good Luck