Ending a Friendship

[GTAFan84]

Hey everyone, I don't post much, never really have anything worth saying really. Anyway, one of my best friends and I had a major falling out a couple of weeks ago. I've deleted every post comment, post like, and anywhere his name may have been on my Facebook, but I'm having trouble letting go. I know he doesn't care and has pretty much gotten over the situation and moved on, but I can't seem too.
We used to hang out and talk all the time, he even told me I was more like a brother than a friend a few times. There's no sexual attraction or anything like that, I just want to let go, stop caring, move on, and I ultimately would like to forget about him. I just want the hurting to stop, I dwell on things, it's my personality, and now I just want to forget and let it go. Does anyone have any tips?

 

[Bob Ross]

Its tough to comment at all without knowing any of the specifics of why the friendship ended

 

[unabear09]

yeah you're not giving us the complete picture. Whats the background of your friendship? Why did it end?

 

[nashboy]

you need to decide if the specific situation was enough to end a friendship that close. it sounds like ur not ready for it to be over and if thats the case...go to him and let him know how you feel.

 

[earllogjam]

YEAH, hard to comment when we don't know why you had a falling out. You seem devastated though and sounds like you'd like to vent.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

If he said you were more like a brother than a friend, then I highly doubt he doesn't care and has moved on. But yeah... it's hard to give you advice on how to move on without knowing what the falling out was about. :/

 

[479644]

You are going through what I did back in April, I never got over my friend, thats just cause i did like him quite a bit.. but the main thing is... Forget him, hang out with people that truly care about u (if he fucked u over like my best friend had)

Don't dwell on the past, cause otherwise things will just get worse. Thats a given. no matter what happened. Though a better reason as to why it happened will help. My friend found out that i had fooled around with guys before so he abandoned the friendship. Its not easy, but you'll learn and it'll make u a stronger person in the end.

 

[GTAFan84]

Thanks everybody. Sorry about not elaborating more. We became friends on Xbox Live and it evolved to texting and talking on the phone and facebook. We literally talked and hung out like two brothers who get along and enjoy hanging out together. We texted dozens of times all day and night, when we weren't on Xbox playing games. This went on from last November until this past March when he just suddenly changed.
We argued and fought throughout April, and then in May he apologized and said he thought we had gotten too close, mind you he instigated the texting and calling, I could've not given him my # but he was having some family trouble and I did my best to give him advice on how to deal basically. So everything goes back to the way it was before in May, but in June he started ignoring me and acting like he had back in April.
So I got pissed off and told him off and deleted him and blocked him from everything because all of our mutual friends were talking about how they were hanging out with him and he wasn't ignoring them during this time. I felt hurt and basically quit speaking to him and blocked him. Well a few weeks go by and he hears that I've been venting about what's been going on to a friend of ours and just verbally attacks me on Xbox Live one night in front of our friends.
A few weeks go by and he sends me two messages, the first comes off as sarcastic about how I've abandoned my account on Xbox, then the second asks if the dust has settled. I didn't know what to think so I messaged back everything had been fine for weeks, and I sent him an email apologizing for how things went down. He responded with what could have been apology without actually saying sorry and basically good job/luck with what I do. I figured he wanted to try to be friends but I'm not sure. As bad as it hurts I just really want to forget I ever knew him and move on, but like I said before I'm a very anxious person and tend to dwell on things. Everything reminds me of all that's happened, music, movies, I barely touch my Xbox anymore because I can't stand to use it, and I used to love it. This may all seem petty and stupid but I don't have a lot of close friends and he managed to become one of the closest, truly like a brother and now it's all gone.

 

[DiscoBoy]

Just find ways of occupying your time. Get a hobby or something, watch more TV, go out more often, just get your thoughts elsewhere. Rid yourself of things that remind you of him, and don't ask mutual friends about his life.

 

[nashboy]

from that it sounds like more feelings than friends man

 

[unabear09]

are you in love with this guy? Not trying to be an asshole but it sounds like there is more to this 'friendship/brother' relationship than you are letting on.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

The hurting WILL stop, eventually. You can't force it to go away, unfortunately, just something that time eventually takes care of...

 

[GTAFan84]

Thanks again guys. No, no love, just trying to understand why he just up and changed all of a sudden. He was the one who was always texting, calling, or wanting to hang out. Then all of a sudden it stopped and I'm left sitting around wondering what happened.
I haven't asked anyone about him, he's the one who tried to contact me. I've never had a fight with or lost a best friend before, I just want to deal with it, forget it, and move on. I can only compare it to how I felt after my grandmother passed away, that hurt that someone close was there one day and just gone the next. I got caught up in the roller coaster and somewhere along the way the ride stopped and I just never got off.

 

[Dave NoCal]

Sounds like it could have been "homosexual panic" on his part caused be becomeing "too close." If that's the case, there probably isn't anything you can do to change the course of events.
Dave

 

[deleted3782]

...why he just up and changed all of a sudden

...Then all of a sudden it stopped and I'm left sitting around wondering what happened.

...I got caught up in the roller coaster and somewhere along the way the ride stopped and I just never got off.

Though its obvious you had a strong connection with him...and connections are great...remind yourself that its not very wise to invest in this kind of person. Can you imagine how you would feel after several years of this guy? You would be a basket case with no self-esteem and major trust issues. That's not the kind of "brother" you want. Keep an open mind and keep doing things that you enjoy and you'll connect with a cooler person who is more stable. Don't invest in a sinking friendship. You can do better. :smile:

 

[Mickactual]

I just want to let go, stop caring, move on, and I ultimately would like to forget about him. I just want the hurting to stop, I dwell on things, it's my personality, and now I just want to forget and let it go. Does anyone have any tips?

Sounds like You're describing me.
In my experience, the only thing that will heal You is time.

Though its obvious you had a strong connection with him...and connections are great...remind yourself that its not very wise to invest in this kind of person. Can you imagine how you would feel after several years of this guy? You would be a basket case with no self-esteem and major trust issues. That's not the kind of "brother" you want. Keep an open mind and keep doing things that you enjoy and you'll connect with a cooler person who is more stable. Don't invest in a sinking friendship. You can do better.

Well said Ann Landers. :biggrin1:

 

[GTAFan84]

Thanks everybody, this really helped :smile:.