Erectile Dysfunction at 24... HELP!!

[shyyguy123]

I'm a 24 year old virgin. I just had an opportunity to have sex tonight but I could not get/maintain a solid erection. This is the 2nd time it's happened. I'm afraid it's a full blown psychological problem since it's the 2nd time. I can get hard erections on my own, they don't last very long without stimulation but never the less they are full erections. So I know it's a psychological issue.

I'm basically afraid I won't be able to get up for sex when the opportunity arises and it has manifested itself into reality.

How do I get past this? The only sure way I can think of is to get my hands on viagra or some ED pill. But they cost a lot of money and I need to go get a presecription.

I really need some opinions on this guys, it's absolutely tearing me apart. You have no idea what it's like for a 24 virgin to not be able to have sex when he has the opportunity!!

 

[jumbo747jet]

I think you're correct in thinking that this is a psychological issue as you're describing that you have no trouble getting and maintaining a hardon when you're by yourself.

Key is for you to be comfortable and at ease when the opportunity for you to have sex arises which of course is easier said than done. If it's with the same girl you are wanting to be intimate with I'd suggest that you be totally honest with her and explain to her that you're nervous about not being able to perform and that those nerves are likely contributing to the problem.

Viagra and similar pills are of course intended for those who for a physical reason aren't able to get or maintain a hardon but as most doctors know, they are sometimes temporarily prescribed to guys who need help getting past a mental block.

So, try being very matter of factly about your anxiety about not being to perform sexually and if that doesn't work out for you, go and talk it over with your doctor and ask him or her to give you a temporary prescription for a pill.

 

[554279]

I'm a 24 year old virgin. I just had an opportunity to have sex tonight but I could not get/maintain a solid erection. This is the 2nd time it's happened. I'm afraid it's a full blown psychological problem since it's the 2nd time. I can get hard erections on my own, they don't last very long without stimulation but never the less they are full erections. So I know it's a psychological issue.

I'm basically afraid I won't be able to get up for sex when the opportunity arises and it has manifested itself into reality.

How do I get past this? The only sure way I can think of is to get my hands on viagra or some ED pill. But they cost a lot of money and I need to go get a presecription.

I really need some opinions on this guys, it's absolutely tearing me apart. You have no idea what it's like for a 24 virgin to not be able to have sex when he has the opportunity!!

If I was a betting man, I would say once you get past your first experience you will be fine. My guess is you are carrying a lot of baggage based on the "24 year old virgin" moniker. Don't. I had this same pep talk with one of my sons (he was in his early twenties as well). You are not the only guy and you won't be the last to be an over 20 virgin in today's society.

I recommend you get into some heavy duty foreplay before you try diving straight into the saddle so to speak. If it works in her hand, it will work elsewhere.

Look at the rest of your physical make up as well. Were you recently ill, too much to drink, taking a prescription for allergies, etc.?

Unless you have some severe physical issues I really doubt you need the little blue guy yet. Just let the "one-eyed Ranger" loose to do his thing, you'll be cool.

 

[VictorV]

Since you have no problem getting it up otherwise, yes it's psychological.

Don't sweat it too hard, it's normal for you to be nervous about your first experience or even the first few times. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

Lie down with your girl in bed and just hang out naked. Don't jump into sex like "this is it, here we go, it's time to perform". Don't pressure yourself into it. Remember it's ok if you don't do it. Just hang out and have fun in bed with her. Get relaxed and be close. Joke around. Play fight or tickle. Spoon her naked and put on a movie. Chances are you'll relax and nature will take its course.

 

[Charles Finn]

first of all relax
second when the time is right it will happen the main thing is to relax and be comfortable with you body find a female friend to play with and work up to intercourse take your time is the best thing i can tell you
empty your mind and focus on what you are doing

 

[erratic]

Yeah, like the others said this is obviously psychological. It's performance anxiety - what makes some people nervous when they start a new job, stand at a public urinal, or what have you. You have absolutely no need for a prescription for ED drugs because you very probably do not have ED. You're your own worst enemy on this one. The more you build it up in to an issue, the worse it will get.

My advice to you is to acknowledge what's going on with your partner(s) and give your dick the time it needs to get over your anxiety. Just about everyone has some kind of issue to get over getting naked with someone else, so if she can help you with your issues maybe you can help her with hers?

 

[shyyguy123]

Thanks guys. But I've already done just about everything mentioned in this thread.

She already knows I'm a virgin and I even told her I got nervous and couldn't get it up with the last girl, before we even tried.

We were also just laying around naked "playing" most of the night. I got a little excited over the course of the night but never more than a semi.

Now that it's happened twice it's going to be in my mind the next time we try too. So the vicious cycle has already started. I really think I'm going to need something to help me get my mind off it. Maybe I'll try getting a little drunk next time to take my mind off it.

I'd much rather have the sure thing in a pill though (viagra/cialis etc). I'm thinking about going to the doctor to get a prescription. Hopefully they're not against writing viagra prescriptions to 24 year olds.

 

[jumbo747jet]

I don't think a good doctor would have anything against prescribing viagra to you just because you're only 24 years old. If you just tell him/her what your problem is and that you don't believe it to be physical problem as you're able to get and remain erections when you're masturbating.
Viagra can be prescribed temporarily as a way of helping somebody get over performance anxiety.

Best of luck to you

 

[554279]

Thanks guys. But I've already done just about everything mentioned in this thread.

She already knows I'm a virgin and I even told her I got nervous and couldn't get it up with the last girl, before we even tried.

We were also just laying around naked "playing" most of the night. I got a little excited over the course of the night but never more than a semi.

Now that it's happened twice it's going to be in my mind the next time we try too. So the vicious cycle has already started. I really think I'm going to need something to help me get my mind off it. Maybe I'll try getting a little drunk next time to take my mind off it.

I'd much rather have the sure thing in a pill though (viagra/cialis etc). I'm thinking about going to the doctor to get a prescription. Hopefully they're not against writing viagra prescriptions to 24 year olds.

Having looked at one of your previous posts, I would have to question whether or not your "first degree (least severe) Hypospadias" that you stated that you suffered from, may have had a hidden emotional impact on you as well (I had PTSD before it had a cool name).

I would say that before you write yourself off for the little blue pill talk to a good health care professional. The blue pill is just a short term solution, and ultimately the doc will decide if it is really right for you.

 

[shyyguy123]

I went to the doctor and talked to him. He gave me some free cialis samples and wrote me a prescription if I needed it after the samples are used. Im going to have my testosterone checked with the blood work also.

Hopefully cialis does the trick. And hopefully once I get past the initial anxiety I won't need them anymore.

Interesting theory about my hypospadias. I only used to be embarrassed about it because of the weird foreskin I had. Once I got circumcised I had no issues with it at all. I actually like the way it looks compared to normal penis'. So I'm not sure that's an issue at all.

 

[FuzzyKen]

Your MD did the right thing here. I have "real" ED and it is not what you are dealing with, but, what the ED drug will do for you is to make it easier to get an erection and a wee bit more difficult to lose it. The use of ED meds is common even with a psych cause simply because what it does is to get one over that hump and allow a decent performance.

Good luck, there are many people in your position and performance anxiety is always a problem for men in general.

I wish you great luck my friend

 

[554279]

I went to the doctor and talked to him. He gave me some free cialis samples and wrote me a prescription if I needed it after the samples are used. Im going to have my testosterone checked with the blood work also.

Hopefully cialis does the trick. And hopefully once I get past the initial anxiety I won't need them anymore.

Interesting theory about my hypospadias. I only used to be embarrassed about it because of the weird foreskin I had. Once I got circumcised I had no issues with it at all. I actually like the way it looks compared to normal penis'. So I'm not sure that's an issue at all.

That's really good news. Hope everything works itself out for you.
Best of luck.

 

[D_Rawkesbye Deadheade]

Given your situation I would pin it down to anxiety, rather than ED. What you need is one successful attempt at keeping it hard throughout and you'll be off the hook from this consuming anxiety. Now, I do not know who are you attempting to have sex with and what the nature of your relationship with her is. Assuming you are in a loving relationship with this woman, I think she's going to be understanding and reassuring and this can help you relax more and get through your psychological roller-coaster.

Remember, this kind of stage fright has happened to more people than you can actually count and it's not abnormal. I know it's easier said than done but try to keep your mind off keeping it hard and concentrate more on what makes her feel good. I personally find that seeing my partner expressing satisfaction is highly erotic and therefore very stimulating. And don't be afraid to let yourself feel good when she does something for you.

Best of luck, matey.

 

[hifzija]

Great, we expect the game results with cialis.
And of course Don`t think about drinking, Too much liquid and/or alcohol do not make a good job with "your best friend" .Already weak erection, the alcohol can further deteriorate.Just try to mentally relax before game.

All The Best

 

[shyyguy123]

Thanks again guys, that's what I love about this site. Everyone is so willing to discuss/help you out with your sexual problems and no one is going to judge you.

 

[hifzija]

When I visited the Balkan country,I was find one interesting tradition there.
*If it comes to health,there is No Need to say Thanks*
Some people are insulted if they are thanked.

If we can help,we are here.

 

[ThickPup]

???

 

[affarsbitrade]

Hey buddy, before you start using Cialis I would think about what causes your anxiety. Maybe using Cialis and being able to rise to the occasion will get rid of the anxiety forever. But there might be more to it than that and you shouldn't use the ED drugs forever.

Are you depressed? Low self confidence? Low self esteem? Do you watch porn and masturbate everyday? Could your porn use be classified as an addiction?

I had the same problem as you, an 'older' virgin. My problem was that I had low self confidence and found it easier to just watch porn and masturbate than pursue sex with other real people. Once I figured out that I had depression and that made me turn to porn to give me a rush (otherwise I just felt numbed all the time, no emotions at all) I decided to turn my life around. I got a personal trainer and now I'm confident in the way I look and I feel healthy and full of life. I started getting out more and leading the social life I always wanted (I'm a naturally social person, I just felt too embarrassed to talk to people). I basically didn't have time to watch porn! But whenever I had the chance, I chose to do something else instead. Now I am having a healthy sex life and ED and performance anxiety are no longer a worry. I feel normal for once. The thing I've noticed as well is that I get erections when I wake up. That had disappeared for a while but now they're back.

So, make sure you're not suffering any esteem issues. Get fit and healthy (should clear up any problems with self-esteem anyway, all those endorphins!). Stop watching porn and masturbating (just enjoy porn for what it is, but don't let it become something you simply have to do). When you masturbate, do it because you are actually horny and use your imagination while you are.

I can guarantee you won't need any pills. It took me about two or three months of working out and no porn for me to notice the difference, but it's worth it. Try to stick it out!

 

[shyyguy123]

Ok so at the doctor visit described in this thread I got some blood work done to see if I might have low testosterone...

They called me back today and said I have the testosterone of an 85 year old man. :frown1:

I'm guessing that's my main issue and not performance anxiety.