Erectile Dysfunction- How Do I Tell Him

EboniGoddess

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Okay, we've been fucking for over a year. I've communicated numerous times that I need more sex and yet we're down to once or twice a month. However there's a problem... I'm almost certain he has erectile dysfunction. He could barely get it hard. After I sucked on it for a while it go hard but by penetration it was already getting soft and after a few strokes it was completely soft. I'm getting so sexually frustrated at this point because I'm not getting the sex I need and he won't open up to me about possibly feeling the same. I expressed some frustration once and I think I made him feel bad and he hit me with the "be nice" line.

So how do I have this conversation with him?

Thinking about the angles...what if he's in denial? What if he agrees with me but refuses to go to the doctors because he doesn't want to pay out of pocket? Should I just accept no sex forever? Would I be a shitty person if I left him because of the lack of sex? Have any of y'all had conversations with your partners about this? Was it embarrassing? Full disclosure: he had someone close to him die and honestly that's when the sex went downhill and I suspect it may be stress/ mentally related. I've been trying to stick it out but it's been like 10 months of trashy sex and I've tried to see if it could work it out on its own but it has not. I've tried a lot to please him and get him there but it's just not working.
 
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orly6666

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Definitely do not accept no sex for ever....
At an appropriate time, ask him if you two can have a talk about a delicate matter.
If he says yes, say that you noticed he's having erection difficulties since his close friend etc died.
If he agrees with you, move the conversation into what sort of help he needs to overcome the problem.
If he flat out refuses to seek help, you will have to tell him that the frequency and quality of sex as it has been for 10 months is unacceptable, and that the relationship is probably over.
Tell him that's not your first choice, but may be he will be better off in the long run with someone with the same sex drive.
Hope this helps, I'm sure others will have suggestions as well.
It might help to move this thread to the healthy penis section....
 
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cincinnatus1951

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Eboni: .You are very right to reach out for help. ED is neither the end of the world or anything to be ashamed about. The key is having the man accept he needs help and then get the "right" kind of help. I agree with Orly above. If he is even remotely open to seeing a doctor, yo are most of the way there. I understand in Canada resorurces are less available than in the States. What you need id preferably a University hospital and look up a urologist who specializes in reproductive medicine or male issues. Garden variety urologists are frequently out of tools after they have prescribed pills. There is no "cure" for ED, only treatments that run the gamut from vacuum tubes, to pills, to implants. If you go to a specialist who deals with this stuff regularly, the conversation is no more embarassing than talking with your mechanic about a shimmy in the front end of your car. Those guys(gals) have seen and heard it all. The standard treatment is to use a vacuum pump, the next step would be pills and the final would be a surgically placed implant. He should start to think that if he had headaches, constipation or clickng joints he would probably want to get that fixed. Why not the same thing with a limp winkie.
I would be glad to talk with either or both of you about this. Send me a direct e-mail or phone number and we can set up a time to talk. Another resource for ED treatments is www.Franktalk.org. That is a website for ED suffers. A look at that and he will realize he is not alone.
Personally, I got ED from prostate surgery and went the full range of treatments and am now the proud owner of a coloplast implant, which solved the problem and my wife and I both love it
Cincinnatus.
 
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MilfBanger78

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How old is he?

Low-T could be an issue in terms of sex drive. as far as erectile function, if thats the main issue, Cialis would help. If hes worried about paying out of pocket, its dirt cheap online. Liquid cialis is like $20 for a 2 month supply.

Other possible issues could be mental. A guys mind will fuck his boners up more than anything. Also possible porn addiction etc
 
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