Erection Problems?

[Detrivus]

I'm going to give some background so if you don't want to read all of this next part you can skip down to the underlined word and after.

About two and a half or so weeks ago I lost my virginity to my girlfriend... we're both 19 and she's had two BF's before. She has never had an orgasm during penetration (I can do it pretty easily with my fingers), so of course I want to give it to her. As of now, though, I have enough trouble lasting five minutes before I have my own orgasm, so that's something I could improve on, partially by getting used to the experience (we've done it five times since), and only one of those times was I completely erect. Needless to say, she could tell.

So, it seems that I have a problem becoming completely erect before actual penetration (foreplay and so forth included) or once erect, I have a hard time staying hard once I'm in... even though there's no reason sensation-wise as to why I would be going soft. (I do, of course, use a condom.)

So... To the good folks at LPSG: Do you have any advice or feedback on how I could fix this? Maybe different positions would help (her approach is to not try anything else before you get one right... so we've stuck to missionary, though she's flexible), or maybe there's something else I can do to improve my ability to become and stay erect?

 

[bigmix]

practise your kegels, check out some web sites regarding this as below,

How to Kegel (this one for women)

AskMen.com - Kegel exercises for men (this is for you, man)

or you can find more...by google it.. it works greatly for me as i never had any erection problem.. i'm always hard and stiff every morning or any time i want.. try it.. this could work both of you, as both men and women have this muscle. the more you practise, the more pleasure you will get...

it also helps to strengthen your ejaculation performance and so.. read more about it..

good luck, man!!

 

[rimmer9]

Are you taking any medication at the moment that may be affecting you?

 

[sykray]

First of all you need to know that the majority of women do not reach orgasm during penis-vagina penetration.

You are still experiencing a novel stimulation. The vagina and a condom both give different sensations to masturbation or fellatio. you need to get accustomed to it. Also you may be feeling some performance anxiety, which tends to kill or inhibit erections and speed up ejaculation.

Kegels are fine but maybe you have also learnt to cum quickly when masturbating so it would be a good idea to play "stop-go" when you masturbate (either yourself or your gf doing it) so you learn to last longer anyway.

You could also try a femal superior position with your gf kneeling astride your hips. That way she can lift off and give you a few hand strokes if you begin to soften inside her before settling herself back on top of your penis.

 

[alex8.5]

If you persist with erectile difficulties, you should consult your Doctor. Your still new at sex, it could just be anxiety. You could try a cock ring for now to help maintain an erection.

 

[Detrivus]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

I will say that girl-on-top positions have worked questionably well. She's not overweight but... heavyset. And she's not that great with her hands (at least with it).

I might be nervous, but I don't tend to feel it. I'll look into kegels.

 

[239843]

Can't add much to what has been discussed, but a trip to the urologist cannot hurt. There may be some underlying condition of which you are not aware. The urologist is a practiced physician or surgeon with these conditions. A trip to Men's Clinic International could help too. The doctor could tell you to use a pill like Viagra, Cialis, heaven forbid, but he could also tell you, like me, that the only answer to a sustainable erection is alprostadil cocktail injections directly into the corpus cavernosa!

 

[Qua]

I've noticed trouble maintaining erections when not receiving hard physical stimulation recently, i.e. stopping whacking motions or fucking will cause me to lose hardness and blowjobs work questionably. I would chalk this up to recent depression and anxiety, and perhaps watching too much porn and masurbating too often. "Sexy thoughts" or erotic sensual stimulation doesn't seem to cut it anymore. My point here is that the largest sexual organ is the brain, and if something is amiss with it or your mental feelings of arousal than it will cause difficulties.