Erototoxins

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by jay_too, Apr 25, 2005.

  1. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    Today at lunch a friend brought a copy of the current issue of Mother Jones. I laughed so much that I went out and bought a copy.

    In a time of rising trade deficits, increasing national debt, an economy that refuses to provide good-paying jobs or halt the export of manufacturing jobs, etc., what is Congress concerned with?

    Did you guess porn? Yea, Congress held hearings on internet smut. The Congressional Committee heard that:

    Porn is the leading cause of breast implants. [Dumb me would have guessed undersized boobs.]

    Porn contributes to the "direct release of the most perfect addictive substance. . . .That is, it causes masturbation, which causes the release of the naturally occurring opiods. It does what heroin can't do in effect."

    The idiot who is chair of the committee is considering appropriating money to explore mind-altering porn poisons, known as erototoxins.

    jay
     
  2. Supportive Female

    Supportive Female New Member

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    How wonderful that the taxes we pay by the sweat of our collective brows goes for such a "mysterious" phenomenon!
     
  3. Dr Rock

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    ... so what exactly is the supposed harmful effect of "erototoxins"?
     
  4. madame_zora

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    Well, dammit, you might have fun and nobody in government wants that!
     
  5. Dr Rock

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    SURGEON-GENERAL'S WARNING: DRUGS MAY BE ENJOYABLE
     
  6. lokican

    lokican Member

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    No offence but your government is really messed up. How is it that they actually are spending time and $ on this issue? Their not going to be able to ban porn anyways, it falls under free speech.

    Americans don't seem to mind graphic violence and such but sex on TV is a big deal, look at the whole uproar over the superbowl incident.... what have people not seen a breast before?
     
  7. Dr Rock

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    it WAS a pretty nasty breast.
     
  8. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    I hope these hearings were captured on C-Span so maybe someday there will be a Classic C-Span Channel for rare moments like these.

    It will be a toss up between which group is more stoooopid....the idiots who called the hearing and had to sit through it or the idiots called as expert witnesses who had to ponitificate on the dangers of erototoxins...ya know that euphoric feeling after the release of precious bodily fluids.

    I hope at least one Congressman had the balls to ask for clarification: "I have read studies that indicate that everybody is doin' it....masturbating. Would you care to comment?"

    I guess that I should be outraged that Congress is not attacking important issues facing the nation while dinking around with something they cannot fix or should not even be concerned about. But on the otherhand, maybe we are better off with these idiots doing nothing of importance.

    jay
     
  9. blackwood

    blackwood New Member

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  10. Bananaman

    Bananaman New Member

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    Well, what did anyone expect with the party of homophobes & prudes in charge?

    B-man
     
  11. madame_zora

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    I expected exactly what we are getting. Don't worry, there's more to come.
     
  12. KinkGuy

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    No kidding. :grr:
     
  13. Freddie53

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    Yea, Jana. Threre is more to come. Who knows. We all may meet face to face in a prison. All of us here that are in the US of A may be arrested for God knows what. But mainly for being a member here and Jana, you and I have plenty on record for them to use if they don't like our posts.

    So we are headed to the Middle Ages. Seminal fluid is now a toxin. Wow. Masturbation will now be illegal. What about wet dreams? Shall we punish any boy caught with stained sheets or underwear?

    While we are at it. Let's spend millions of dollars on the mentral cycle and the toxins produced there. Shall we make it illegal to have a period as well.

    While we are at it. Let's make defacting illegal. I hate having to use public restrooms. Let's just declare peeing illegal too. Those byproducts are definitely toxins.

    I have had sinus problems. Can we declare ehem, uh "snot" illegal?

    And last we need to pass legislation making the passing of smelly farts illegal. They disrupt classrooms across the nation. And most folks don't like them. I'm sure a survey can be done to prove that people don't like to be present when someone as farted one of those them is heavy and permeates the entire room for it seems eternity.

    I am getting excited over all of this. Our US Government:

    "Wasting your tax dollars inefficiently. But at least we are conssitent"

    I am looking forward the the judicial proceedings.

    Senator Shitass: "Sir, what is your position on eurotoxins? Should it reach the Supreme Court. Do you believe that mean passing eurotoxins is constitutional?

    Senator Pissless: "Sir, there are some who do not agree with the latest government findings and believe that have a right to shit in the nation of ours. Do you believe that people have a constitutional right to shit. Do you believe that it is constitutional for people and business to have commodes and urinals. Does the presence of commodes and urinals pass contitutional muster?"

    Senator Shitass: There is some concern about your position. As you know there were no commodes and urinals in the United States when our beloved and perfect Constitution was ratified by the states. There is a lot of concern about this issue. I mean there is absolutely no evidence that there were commodes and urinals in our country when the Constitution was ratified.

    Senator Clueless: I just want to know if you are ProCommodes or ProNoShit. By the way didn't Thomas Jefferson have an indoor restroom at Monticello?

    Senator Shitass: Not exactly. The one he had did meet constitutional mandates at the time. But slaves carried the buckets of shit down to empty them. Slavery has been abolished. So there is no one to go and empty the slop jars now meeting strict constitutional standards.

    Senator Clueless: Damn I don't care about all the shit. Pardon the pun. But a poll in my district says they want commodes. I don't give a rat's ass about the Consitution. I just want to know if I vote to confirm you if it will make me lose my job as Senator in the next election. Do you understand what I need to know? So are you ProCommodes or not?

    Senator Pissless: We need to end this discussion right now. We don't need to be holding up Presidential appointees. Our job is to approve whomever the President nominates for judges. We have a constitutional mandate to confirm these nominees without any questions. Do you realize when we ask questions we are also questioning the President of the United States's ability to select the finest people in the nation to be judges. I move to end all debate and confirm this nominee to the Supreme Court. It is the right thing to do.


    Oh our wonderful Congrees at work. Eurotoxins now. Shit and Piss will be next.
     
  14. Simon9

    Simon9 Active Member

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    It's for your own good, you know. It's ALWAYS "for your own good".

    I'm glad you all can watch those self-righteous nitwits at work. I just reflexively change channels.

    As far as I'm concerned, the nitwits of Party A are virtually indistinguishable from the nitwits of Party B. Which is why I thoroughly agree there is more to come, no matter WHICH major party is calling the shots. It's all about aggression and the exercise of power. For our own good, of course.
     
  15. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    (In The Media)

    Sex [Porn] - At worst creates a life (usually though it makes someone masturbate, which doesn't produce babies, maybe the American government should research into that as well though :p)

    Violence - Destroys a life

    Which is worse?

    Although banning some of that really sick pron where they're forcing the girl to do all kinds of weird shit and actually hurting her would be a good idea. Which is I guess violent sex...Max Hardcore would be one culprit.
     
  16. madame_zora

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    Well rape and snuff already IS illegal as it denies consent.

    Freddie, I almost couldn't type from laughing so hard at your post! You are THE man!
    I just wish the subject was actually this funny but it's not inconceivable that you could be closer to the truth than I care to think about.
     
  17. Bananaman

    Bananaman New Member

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    Hmmm...
    At this point anarchy is beginning to have a certain appeal...
    What a sad state of affairs.

    B-man
     
  18. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    Freddie...

    You are a visionary...scary but prolly true.

    jay
     
  19. Freddie53

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    Jana. thanks for the compliment. I could hardly type when I wrote it I was laughing so hard myself. And I had a good time writng it until I realized how serious it really is.

    We have had fun with the flesh pile. It keeps going. I think it would be hilarious if others joined in on the Senate deliberations and wrote some dialogue too. We haven't heard from Senators Fuckstick, Blowjob, Impotent, and Cumming. And there are other senators as well. Out of 12,000 members, I am sure othes can add to the dialogue. We can call the "The Senate."

    Jay,

    Damn, I hope I am not a visionary on this subject. But who knows. We should have discipline you know. Everyone should be trained to go to the restroom at 8 in the morning, 4 in the afternoon and again at bedtime. The daily poop time should always be at 4 in the afternoon regardless where you are even if you are in the check out lane at Wal Mart.

    I can see a zillion dollars being wasted on bathroom study. There is the left wing socialist philosophy that suggests that people should go when they feel the urge you know. We must watch that group. Next thing you know they will suggest that you eat if you are hungry. They are a dangerous lot. What if they suggest freedom of speech, religion and press?
     
  20. jonb

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    And snuff's apparently an urban legend.
     
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