An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Essex girl. "10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAAAAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames." An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise." ==================================================== Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."