Ever been "accused" of being hard when/where you shouldn't be, when you WEREN'T?

[MrMickleGary]

Curious if it's happened to you: Whether it was a playful, in-the-moment surprise when you were making out with someone the first time and they grabbed your bulge and went, "Wait: It's this big and it's not hard?", or a roommate seeing you changing clothes, thinking your hanging hog was an already oversized hard on? I've recently received an accusatory look at my soft 5.5" in my gym's locker room, with an older man's glance down as I walked towards him in the showers. One look downward and he shot me a look straight to my face as if to say, "How DARE you!" I just smiled as he quickly exited. and thought damn, that's a first! I knew right away when his eyes locked on my dick what he was thinking - that I'm some perv...which I AM, but I also wasn't looking to hook up at the Local Community Center. Plus, HEY, I'M WAY BIGGER THAN 5.5" WHEN I'M HARD OKAY, BUDDY?

Anyways - anyone else?

 

[Shepardson]

I believe I had it happen on a walk last year or so, through a park area near my house. I passed and said "hello" to a guy walking toward me with a dog. He gave me a pissed off look and I heard him spit just after I passed, so I glanced back and he was looking back at me with a scowl, like he probably spit on the ground toward me. I didn't think much of it until some jerk shouted "the F-word" at me from a vehicle a few days later in that same spot. Not to imply that gay people look a particular way, but of all the stuff I get mistaken for, there's not much about me any piece of fratboy shit would likely see as gay. All I could figure was that it was the same guy and he had seen a lump in my shorts or something when I tried to be polite to him. - probably what his dick looks like when it's hard

 

[HorseHung40's]

I don't know that "accused" in the right word, but, have been called that.

 

[ericbear]

Once I had spent the afternoon on the patio of a bar I frequent. Somebody asked me how I managed to stay hard for hours. I didn't understand the question at first, but eventually realized that he was referring to the bulge in my jeans, which he assumed must be a hard cock. I explained that no, it's been completely soft all afternoon, that's just how big it is soft.

 

[Andrej_u]

When I was younger I was showering at the beach, with a group of dudes I used to hang out with.
We were all wearing swimsuits, but they were washing themselves and I could get a nice glance of their straight asses.

I tried not to get hard, I probably got a little bit of a chub but nothing more. One guy noticed and asked me literally "are you hard? Like, by looking at us showering?". I was in the closet back then!
I died inside, but I managed not to lose the cool, and said that I just have a big one. I put a hand in my speedo and basically showed that I was bending my dick, so it couldn't have been hard. Then I asked him back why he was looking at my dick, with a smirk.

Phew!

A couple years later I came out and they were super supportive.

 

[hung27]

I was on a bus and wearing baggy shorts. I could feel things moving but was not turned on. At a bus stop out of nowhere a young woman slapped my face! Looked at me like thunder said nothing and got off. Also have heared the expression "it rude to point" a few times. Often when out I hear giggles depending on clothing.

 

[Hannud38]

There's no crime in having a boner as long as you're not masturbating in public. But anyway, I have gotten looks when people notice my soft bulge. "Sorry, folks, my soft above-average penis makes a bulge. I'm a man. I'm not ashamed of it, and there's nothing wrong with it!"

 

[Bigdickjack]

It happens all the time ! I actually have gotten used to it now . I don’t mind telling them it’s me soft lol

 

[nomju]

My mother in law came swimming with the wife and I. She asked my wife if I had an erection. 'No mum, that's soft'.

 

[Adavis08]

My mother in law came swimming with the wife and I. She asked my wife if I had an erection. 'No mum, that's soft'.

That's really hot, dude. I bet she was impressed. Did it ever come up again?

 

[stretch8888]

i've been accused a few times over the years

 

[SwinginDick7x6]

I was wearing a very tight pair of very faded jeans one summer day when my roommate texted, asking if I wanted to hang out and get high before her date. I went outside to meet her and immediately thought, "I should not be wearing these pants when she's wearing that dress!" Instant swingin' chubbie, 7"x 6", soft, but unmistakable, especially when she sat down with my crotch at eye level. (Normal flaccid range for me, bendable and swinging, i.e. non-insertable: 6.5"x 5.5" to 7.2"x 6", doesn't make for a snappy username!) I was concerned it might turn my pocket inside out if she bent forward too much! We smoked a joint with me leaning on a railing while she sat in a patio chair. I couldn't see her eyes due to sunglasses and baseball cap, she made no comment about it, and I smoked that joint with one hand in my pocket!
A few months later I was wearing the same pants but she was dressed way down, baggy sweats and hoodie. We were sitting across from each other in chairs, near the end of a table. As I was loading a bowl, she said, "Can you cover up?"
"What?" I was confused. She nodded at my groin, then gave me the "What the hell did you think I was talking about?" look. Same pants, completely soft. Winter flaccid, 6.25"x 5.25". I almost brought up her lack of reaction the last time I wore the pants, but instead I slid my chair under the table so my lap was out of sight.
I think she was looking for confirmation of sexiness before her date the first time, and I think she had been dealing with a lot of unwanted attention the second.

 

[the_man_5562000]

Yeah was on holiday with some friends and fell asleep on my back on a bed in only boxer briefs. When I woke up one of the guys in front of everyone was like: 'having a sexy dream?'.
'Err no' I replied. He laughed an said 'well it still looks like you did have one'.

'Err, that's just me' I mumbled.

Awkward silence, then gaining a nickname I've kept ever since.

 

[jumbo747jet]

While I wasn't assused as such, I once, while receiving a massage, was asked if I needed time to "calm myself down". It was about half way through a otherwise very good massage and just after I had been asked to turn onto my back. My masseur had already worked on my back and legs and after I rolled over onto my back, I felt it wasn't appropriate to "adjust myself" after my dick came resting on my stomach.
I was at a complete loss as to why he'd ask me if I needed time to calm myself down as I was pretty much as relaxed as I could be, without being unconscious. After nothing being said for maybe a minute or two, I finally caught on to what he was implying, so I adjusted myself to instead let my dick rest between the thighs. He didn't say anything to me, but I think he realised his mistake as he then continued the massage.
It kind of spoiled a otherwise very good massage, but I suspect my masseur was more embarrassed than I was.

 

[MrMickleGary]

As a former massage therapist, I couldn’t *imagine* mentioning anything about someone’s physicality, particularly because you just NEVER KNOW! You’re trained to not even mention clients’ tattoos because you NEVER KNOW, but clearly this therapist hadn’t gotten that talk.

 

[JoshHung]

This hot-headed but petite guy at the gym accused me of "looking at" his girlfriend and told me next time that he would "give me a piece of his mind." I wore grey sweatpants and noticed him looking down at my crotch periodically. When he confronted me, I told him that I was, in fact, not looking at her; he just replied with, "oh yes, you were."

After a complaint to the management and a couple of weeks, he approached me and apologized. It's not my fault my dick is 6.5 inches soft.

 

[MrMickleGary]

This hot-headed but petite guy at the gym accused me of "looking at" his girlfriend and told me next time that he would "give me a piece of his mind." I wore grey sweatpants and noticed him looking down at my crotch periodically. When he confronted me, I told him that I was, in fact, not looking at her; he just replied with, "oh yes, you were."

After a complaint to the management and a couple of weeks, he approached me and apologized. It's not my fault my dick is 6.5 inches soft.

Haha, just checked your pics and can see why the confusion- in my original post in this thread, I talked about the very same thing happening to me; an older guy looked at my soft dick and thought I was hard…while it was swinging and bouncing all over the place, unlike a hard on

 

[nomju]

That's really hot, dude. I bet she was impressed. Did it ever come up again?

It didn't 'come up' the first time lol. But no. Although my wife told her sister. But her sister has seen me naked, and knows I'm hung, anyway.

 

[Keith]

View attachment 89383601I don't know that "accused" in the right word, but, have been called that.

Yes, it was.

 

[deleted20402651]

Yep.