Ever been ghosted?

[David Lucaya]

So I was going out with this girl we were talking for about a month, she and I would meet basically every weekend and text about daily.The last time I had seen or heard from her we went out and in the car made plans to go out the following evening. About 4-5 hours before we were supposed to go out I texted her to remind her and confirm we're going out that evening, to which I got no reply. About 2 hours later I attempt to call, still no answer. so that evening I texted her one final time saying I hope everything is alright. The next day I text and call one time each still no response. I try again that weekend and nothing and then I came to terms that I had been ghosted lol.
It's not a good feeling being dumped with no resolution, even though it was not serious, I'd like to know at least know why she didn't want to hangout any longer.
What are you guys' experience with the phenomenon. What are your thoughts about it

 

[David Lucaya]

no we had met and everything lol. Ghosting is when you just suddenly cut contact with a person with no explanation.
but yea idk I guess I scared her lol

 

[stretch8888]

Shit happens, some are just flaky, some like to play games once they get you where they want they drop you, some just like the attention till something more appealing comes along, been there and it sucks, best to suck it up and move on and learn from it. Also next time dont give her the time of day with that many follow ups,not only is it needy and she's likely loving the attention but she didn't have enough respect to even confirm or cancel your plans, one follow up after that at most and the ball is in her court, personally at that point i delete the number and move on to people that respect my time and company, usually they come crawling back when they need attention, where you go from there is up to you but keep your guard up and if she shows the slightest bullshit be prepared to drop her.

 

[David Lucaya]

Shit happens, some are just flaky, some like to play games once they get you where they want they drop you, some just like the attention till something more appealing comes along, been there and it sucks, best to suck it up and move on and learn from it. Also next time dont give her the time of day with that many follow ups,not only is it needy and she's likely loving the attention but she didn't have enough respect to even confirm or cancel your plans, one follow up after that at most and the ball is in her court, personally at that point i delete the number and move on to people that respect my time and company, usually they come crawling back when they need attention, where you go from there is up to you but keep your guard up and if she shows the slightest bullshit be prepared to drop her.

I never had that happen before, so I was kinda shocked by it I guess plus she was such a nice girl, so I didn't expect that type of behavior. I thought maybe she was hurt initially lol

 

[HorseHung40's]

You will likely never know the reason why this woman behaved in the manner that she did. She is now in the past. You have the time and capacity to focus on meeting a decent person.

 

[David Lucaya]

You will likely never know the reason why this woman behaved in the manner that she did. She is now in the past. You have the time and capacity to focus on meeting a decent person.

I think maybe ive conveyed that I'm hurt about this situation (I was at first though lol). I just wanted to know if it's a common thing or if anybody here has done it to someone else and why you would do it.
I would feel better to know why though lol mostly to satisfy my curiosity

 

[pachuco2]

I don't Chase,..I Replace,..move on!

 

[josh20hung]

I've never been ghosted ... But I did ghost a friend once

 

[LaFemme]

That is weird. Maybe something did happen.

That’s the thing with ghosting, you just never know. Usually ghosting happens after a date or two, not after a month. I think you are owed an explanation. It just seems so odd. But maybe something happened and then she got too embarrassed to tell you, and the more time that passed the harder it got to reconnect.

I don’t know - people can be weird. Glad you’re not hurt, but you really didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry that happened to you.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I think maybe ive conveyed that I'm hurt about this situation (I was at first though lol). I just wanted to know if it's a common thing or if anybody here has done it to someone else and why you would do it.
I would feel better to know why though lol mostly to satisfy my curiosity

I have never just disappeared without a trace. Some relationships ran their course due to geography; others ended by growing apart. At no time did the woman or I simply cut the other out.

 

[marriedasian]

are you sure she's not dead or in the hospital somewhere? i assume you have confirmed that she's alive and well and simply ignoring you?

with that said, i would just let it go and keep moving. it's not worth your time or energy to chase a "why". people will do what they want and there's nothing you can do. i would however remove her from your life and not allow her back in no matter what if she un-ghost herself.

life goes on. so many women out there... try again...

 

[SoaringSpirit]

Its happened way in the past. The worst part of course is not knowing why, even a simple sentence would have been nice.
Be that as it may, chalk it up to a life experience & move on. Yes it does hurt because you had met & thought you were getting to know her. People can sure surprise us !
Don't allow it to discourage you or dampen your enthusiasm, a better person awaits you -

 

[CUBE]

What a terrible thing to do to someone. When I get a text, I text back. Or email. Or call. Or letter for Pete’s sake. If I’ve had a situation that was bad I just say goodbye. If she did this, good riddance. To me, it shows they were of no character.

 

[tito21]

I never had that happen before, so I was kinda shocked by it I guess plus she was such a nice girl, so I didn't expect that type of behavior. I thought maybe she was hurt initially lol

I don’t think she was a nice girl. We tend to put on our best behaviour and a facade when meeting/dealing with a stranger or someone aren’t close to us. She was a disrespectful person and couldn’t even text you back with a ‘sorry, it isn’t going to work between us and thank you for your time’. Clearly she doesn’t think much of you, if at all.

I don't Chase,..I Replace,..move on!

This! We are all adult and life is too short for mind game. If people want to play game and want to be chased, then they can go for a run in the plains of Africa. There are more than enough wild lions with the time to chase and hunt them down. I hope for their sake they don’t get caught!

 

[stretch8888]

I think maybe ive conveyed that I'm hurt about this situation (I was at first though lol). I just wanted to know if it's a common thing or if anybody here has done it to someone else and why you would do it.
I would feel better to know why though lol mostly to satisfy my curiosity

You will likely never know the real answer to why, as i said above, any number of reasons, flaky, some like to play games for their own amusement or benefit, some just want the attention till something else comes along that draws their attention more. best to write it off as some people are simply shitty people and move on quit thinking about it or it can mess you up.

I've been there and it sucks and the part that bothered me most is i knew better, last time it happened to me this chick seemed super nice, we met through a mutual friend, had a lot in common seemed to hit it off really well, i let my guard down and with in a couple weeks i was crazy over her then about a month later out of the blue she just ghosted me, no rhyme or reason, it hit me hard and it fucked me up as i tried to make sense of it, hell even people that knew us and thought there was something there couldn't make sense of it, i called her out on it and she attempted to make it seem like i was blowing things out of proportion. The mutual friend that we met through eventually told me she was notorious for pulling that shit, and hindsight being 20/20 pieces fell together, she was using me for her benefit and once I'd served my purpose she ghosted me. Bottom line she was just a shitty person.

another example, many years ago, old childhood friend that I'd grown up and gone to school with, we'd drifted apart in high school then reconnected in our early 20s, it was like we'd never been apart things were going great for a few weeks, never would have expected to be treated like i didn't exist, supposed to go on a date and she seemingly vanished, no text no call nothing, couple months later she comes back out of no where and like an idiot i let her play with my head again, eventually caught on i was just feeding her need for attention until her on again off again boyfriend came calling. Funny part is i haven't really talked to her in years yet i'll still get the needy text looking for attention every so often. Bottom line she was an attention whore.

 

[sangheili90]

Happened to me several times with different women, this type of behavior is actually pretty common, especially if you met them off of tinder/OLD or at a bar/club.

Last summer I met this half Japanese half Mexican girl on the patio at a club in my area and we ended up talking for over an hour, she was super cute and I had a hard on the entire time whilst I was with her. Anyway, a couple days later we met up for a date to go mini golfing. I was having a really good time and when we were waiting for the people ahead of us to finish the course we were sitting down next to each other on the bench talking for a while. I noticed she was stroking the golf club like she would whilst giving a hand job and I put my hand on her knee while we were talking. The rest of the date involved me wrapping my arms around her while she was putting the ball. On one of the courses a tampon fell out of her bag and I awkwardly picked it up and gave it back to her. However, we had to cancel the date early because she ended up losing her phone somewhere on the course, though we eventually found it. We were standing outside and she jumped into my arms to hug me and kissed me but before leaving she did it a second time. We texted each other a couple times after that but she ended up disappearing after I tried to set up another date, which was extremely disappointing to say the least.

Earlier in the fall I met a half Mexican/half Colombian girl that was a recent regular at my gym, I had just approached her and we ended up talking for over 10 minutes. A couple days later she was there and when she saw me she came over to talk to me and when we were discussing things we liked to do for fun hiking came up and I mentioned a place near where we both lived that she had not been to. She then proceeded to ask me out to do that with her that evening and we exchanged numbers. She later cancelled the date and then didn't reply at all for almost a week. After a week I was kind of annoyed and told her that I didn't understand why she came over to me to ask me out if she was just going to flake on me and ghost. Anyway, long story short she ended up stringing me along but after I stopped talking to her I later found out that she was engaged.

I've met other women who would at least text me saying they weren't ready to date or other such gentle let downs, but I always told them I appreciated the fact they said something instead of leaving me hanging by ghosting on me.

 

[328982]

So I was going out with this girl we were talking for about a month, she and I would meet basically every weekend and text about daily.The last time I had seen or heard from her we went out and in the car made plans to go out the following evening. About 4-5 hours before we were supposed to go out I texted her to remind her and confirm we're going out that evening, to which I got no reply. About 2 hours later I attempt to call, still no answer. so that evening I texted her one final time saying I hope everything is alright. The next day I text and call one time each still no response. I try again that weekend and nothing and then I came to terms that I had been ghosted lol.
It's not a good feeling being dumped with no resolution, even though it was not serious, I'd like to know at least know why she didn't want to hangout any longer.
What are you guys' experience with the phenomenon. What are your thoughts about it

That sounds really odd. Not much to go on but my guess would be that she met/was seeing someone else and/or just decided she wasn’t really into you . When it started to go from casual weekend thing to successive week nights, she pulled the plug. Who suggested the next date? Maybe she was irritated by the 'reminder' text, given that you'd made plans only the night before? Perhaps she started to feel suffocated or that you were becoming needy / controlling. Did you fart in the car? But who knows why - ghosting is a mystery.

I've been ghosted or rather 'orbited' by an old friend. Just slowly phased out. It's horrible. They’ve kept me as a FB friend presumably to keep tabs on what I'm up to on social media. I haven’t unfriended them because I'm nosy too and want to give the impression of not giving a damn, but inside I'm suffering!

 

[David Lucaya]

are you sure she's not dead or in the hospital somewhere? i assume you have confirmed that she's alive and well and simply ignoring you?

with that said, i would just let it go and keep moving. it's not worth your time or energy to chase a "why". people will do what they want and there's nothing you can do. i would however remove her from your life and not allow her back in no matter what if she un-ghost herself.

life goes on. so many women out there... try again...

so we met through tinder and you can see instagram posts through there if it's linked and she posted a few pics looking fine and dandy lol.

So if you can post a picture you have time to text back. that's just my take on it :/

 

[David Lucaya]

That sounds really odd. Not much to go on but my guess would be that she met/was seeing someone else and/or just decided she wasn’t really into you . When it started to go from casual weekend thing to successive week nights, she pulled the plug. Who suggested the next date? Maybe she was irritated by the 'reminder' text, given that you'd made plans only the night before? Perhaps she started to feel suffocated or that you were becoming needy / controlling. Did you fart in the car? But who knows why - ghosting is a mystery.

I've been ghosted or rather 'orbited' by an old friend. Just slowly phased out. It's horrible. They’ve kept me as a FB friend presumably to keep tabs on what I'm up to on social media. I haven’t unfriended them because I'm nosy too and want to give the impression of not giving a damn, but inside I'm suffering!

i mean the reminder was literally "hey we still on for tonight" but i get what you mean it could be anything
But she was the one who brought up hanging out the next night , which is why I think I even cared in the first place if she had said hey I'm busy af or something a lightbulb wouldve gone off like she's prob not into me that much. Making plans then ghosting is so dumb lol

 

[David Lucaya]

That is weird. Maybe something did happen.

That’s the thing with ghosting, you just never know. Usually ghosting happens after a date or two, not after a month. I think you are owed an explanation. It just seems so odd. But maybe something happened and then she got too embarrassed to tell you, and the more time that passed the harder it got to reconnect.

I don’t know - people can be weird. Glad you’re not hurt, but you really didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry that happened to you.

I agree it is very weird. but idk i think maybe she was going out with 2 guys and didn't choose me lol. that's an excuse most people aren't willing to give lol