To make a long story not as long, since 2016 I've had a fuck buddy who is closeted that I met on an app.
The first 2 years it was purely physical. He would come over, we'd hook up, then he'd leave. But last year things changed.
One night he came over and wanted to actually talk before we got to things. He'd always been really guarded since I guess other guys he'd been with had gone psycho and threatened to out him to ex gfs and his family.
Ever since then, over the last year we've really opened up to each other, which is also big for me because although I'm out, I have MAJOR trust issues with men.
In my mind, I wanted to be with him officially, but he would always say he was anti-relationships. YET he also started acting like my bf. Acting jealous at the thought of me other guys, promising me dates, and giving me nicknames, he was even really emotionally supportive when some other guy gave me my first (and only) STI
But it also got annoying after a while, he'd come over every weekend which is nice & he'd finally come around to doing things in public together, but would always flake on the plans. A few times I'd get frustrated and go off on him and we'd stop talking for a while (5 months being the longest), but he'd always reach out and we'd be right back at it.
But earlier this month, I just reached my breaking point. He flaked again on plans we'd made and he stopped texting me mid conversation, which he knows drives me CRAZY. So I ended whatever we have, to which replied "ok"
That was April 4th and although I feel I'm justified in what I did. I really wonder if this is the end of us... like we haven't talked since.
I can't stop thinking about him. I really think I may love him. I've been with a lot of guys, guys even hotter than him & I'd always choose him over them. Even his flaws, I'm attracted to.
Anyone ever been in my boat? Any advice?
The first 2 years it was purely physical. He would come over, we'd hook up, then he'd leave. But last year things changed.
One night he came over and wanted to actually talk before we got to things. He'd always been really guarded since I guess other guys he'd been with had gone psycho and threatened to out him to ex gfs and his family.
Ever since then, over the last year we've really opened up to each other, which is also big for me because although I'm out, I have MAJOR trust issues with men.
In my mind, I wanted to be with him officially, but he would always say he was anti-relationships. YET he also started acting like my bf. Acting jealous at the thought of me other guys, promising me dates, and giving me nicknames, he was even really emotionally supportive when some other guy gave me my first (and only) STI
But it also got annoying after a while, he'd come over every weekend which is nice & he'd finally come around to doing things in public together, but would always flake on the plans. A few times I'd get frustrated and go off on him and we'd stop talking for a while (5 months being the longest), but he'd always reach out and we'd be right back at it.
But earlier this month, I just reached my breaking point. He flaked again on plans we'd made and he stopped texting me mid conversation, which he knows drives me CRAZY. So I ended whatever we have, to which replied "ok"
That was April 4th and although I feel I'm justified in what I did. I really wonder if this is the end of us... like we haven't talked since.
I can't stop thinking about him. I really think I may love him. I've been with a lot of guys, guys even hotter than him & I'd always choose him over them. Even his flaws, I'm attracted to.
Anyone ever been in my boat? Any advice?