Ever dated a girl you believe is out of your league?

[rembrandt1603]

I do believe, however, that once you are of a certain level of attractiveness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to looks exclusively)

Bang on. I have a buddy who is a few years older than me; tall, black, muscular, dangerous looking (in a sexy way, not a 'I'm going to stab you to death' way), and has never failed to pick up a woman in a club, in the street, or anywhere, really. Shows how looks can elevate you to a virtual 100% success rate.

And also that when you attain a certain level of wealthiness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to money exclusively) per se.

This is undeniably true. You only have to look at the ugly old men or social disabled rich-kids who have model girlfriends and the like. People who would normally be lonely or dating someone much less attractive if they didn't have their wallet as leverage.

 

[D_Selmus_Swallow]

No on the money side. And if anything I've been out of my league but not above it, more like below it, like I should have been in the Major Leagues and instead I was playing catch with myself in the backyard. :frown1:

 

[Kempwing]

I did once, then she turned out be a lesbian

 

[D_Ernest Porknine]

I guess because I am short I have always felt somewhat inferior although after getting a muscular build my confidence level increased but I was still somewhat taken aback when I had two different women initialize having an affair with me. They were both very hot and very wild in bed and it staked me that they loved my cock and how I could use it

 

[deleted432219]

I have dated someone who considered me out of their league....I didn't agree with him, but that's how he felt.

 

[Boobalaa]

oh yeah..a few times..Those are the best memories..the spontaneous, unexpected ones..out of my league and i might add, "grudge fucks" ..and "dare ya's"..I was quite the "flirt jerk" nerdy type dude on the fringe of the gruop cliques..I was always "here and there"

(1) "Liz", Junior year, high school; really good "buddy" knew her since jr. high; She invited me to ride along with her and her college freshman, quarterback boyfriend to Yosemite because he got a seasonal ranger job there and she was dropping him off and needed help with driving back home..Well, heh, heh, we made it as far as Manteca and rented a room..

(2) Maggie; Senior year, high school, during a party, I was pretty stoned, asked boldly and ballsely, if Maggie wanted to leave and get something to eat..her boyfriend raul and his buddies were all playing poker..I could feel the stares and heads turn as we walked out together..whoa baby!!..After Jack-in-the-box and some chatting, we went up to the hills and made out, then i took her home..and Raul was cool about it at school, We all 3 became good friends..

(3) Bonnie; Summer after graduation from high school. The night before she was supposed to get married..After the After party of her fiance's bachelor party, I hear this knock on my window..it's like 3am..she crawls thru the window and hops in bed with me..

 

[petite]

I've been on both sides of it, both by my own personal feelings and by the way that I was treated by others.

I have dated someone who actually treated me like he thought that he was out of my league. He made me feel insecure about myself and about how he felt about me. We didn't date long. Some of TheBF's friends treated me like he was out of my league, because a lot of people, mine and his friends, they consider him to be quite the "catch" and I suppose that his friends didn't think I lived up to whatever ideal they had in mind for him. My friends have a higher opinion of me. I've dated other men whose friends acted like I was the one who was out of his league, and some of those men made me feel like they agreed with that assessment that I could do better, find a better man. I've also had to deal with lots of parents who made me feel either like their son had done sooo well that I wondered, and other parents who seemed to think that their son could have done better. It's so complicated.

Outsiders might look at a couple and think that one partner is out of the other's league, that happens all the time, but they don't see everything. There is a reason why someone who is considered more attractive, more intelligent, more wealthy, more socially skilled, or in any other way more desirable from an outsider's viewpoint would choose to date the person considered less desirable, and that reason may not always be immediately evident. Perhaps the "more desirable" partner was badly hurt and that person feels more secure seeing someone who provides the feeling of security from being abandoned or cheated on. Perhaps he/she has unusual tastes or sees something that other people don't see. Perhaps they share a similar past that others have a difficult time relating to. The point is that couples that work meet each other's needs, and an outsider doesn't always see all the dynamics that make a couple function the way that they do.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

This goes to the guys who aren't exactly the casanova type. Have you ever had a goal of dating a girl who you believe is out of your league and succeeded? How was it?

The most I ever got was going out with this girl I had a major crush on but it wasn't a date cause it was just helping her with school stuff. Back then I was too afraid to actually ask her out, which was lucky cause I realized we barely had anything in common. I was just attracted to her beauty and bubbly personality.

nope

 

[Synergistic]

I can finally quote Twitter for some of its wisdom

via @shitmydadsays

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

 

[upone]

I do believe, however, that once you are of a certain level of attractiveness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to looks exclusively) and also that when you attain a certain level of wealthiness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to money exclusively) per se.

I agree with that. I usually think of "out of my league" from the point of attractiveness, but I've learned that great-looking women are usually as insecure as I am, so we get along fine. And the sex is great.

 

[balsary]

Every girl that I've dated has been out of my league. Who the hell would want to date a girl that is in the same league as me?

Seriously though, that is what I thought before dating every girl that I've dated. I usually figure out pretty quick that they are right there with me though. The whole "league" thing is in your head.

 

[B_625girth]

I fucked a few out of my league but never dated them. they were there for my cock. It was a long time ago and I was pretty young, naive.

 

[Riven650]

There is no such thing as 'out of my league'. Only compatible and incompatible.

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

r_j_r summed up my perspective on this nicely. But to put a more positive spin on it, I've found myself attracted to certain people whom few other found interesting in any way at all. I've never considered "attractive" to be anything other than a deeply personal, highly subjective opinion (and one subject to frequent revision).

In terms of social mobility and dating outside of one's class: I find that even the concept is deeply un-American. We're supposed to be beyond that sort of thing, right?

You hit the nail on the head. We are kindred spirits in this regard, as I don't have a type and I've never dated the same type of guy twice. Who they are either works for me or doesn't, there's no formula.

 

[JG6]

I don't think that way either - but I typically don't date women with smokin' bods - and I did once - it threw me off. But we weren't compatible anyway

 

[arthur]

Forgive me. And I may be wrong about this. But I thought this 'out of my league' theory on dating was something you grew out of after senior school. Yes it was all part of social mobility at school. But then the notion of a class system is very prevalent at school. 'Your on the football team therefore he is better than you and he is worth dating 'to be seen with'."

Personally I didn't think it has anything to do with adult modern relationships. I either like the guy or not? Not dating him because I think I would look good with him or he's so good looking I'll get a 'premium' notch on my bed post?!

 

[ConstantComment]

There is no such thing as 'out of my league'. Only compatible and incompatible.

I agree with this. Or, they're interested or not interested. I accept that men have tastes all over the place. Just when I think someone or some characteristic should be attractive or unattractive to a guy, well, there is someone out there who can love / hate it.

The only thing I think about when I am on the market is whether I am attracting the kind of guys that I am interested in. If not, what can I do about it (that I would want to change)?

 

[DavidXL]

. . .
I do believe, however, that once you are of a certain level of attractiveness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to looks exclusively) and also that when you attain a certain level of wealthiness that no one is out of your league (at least when it comes to money exclusively) per se. . . .

I think that is spot-on. I also think that women tend not to be as shallow as men in some respects (i.e., they don't care as much about looks as men usually do and will focus more on whether they like you for you), though they tend to care whether men have money or not, at least the women in the circles in which I have traveled. Looks are very important for me - money, not a factor at all.

The other thing about very beautiful women is that they are sometimes very lonely, I have found. Men are intimidated to approach them, because they think she is out of their league or already taken. And other women can be not very nice to them either because of jealousy or for other reasons that I don't fully comprehend (like a lot of other things about women that I just don't get!).

 

[deleted432219]

The other thing about very beautiful women is that they are sometimes very lonely, I have found. Men are intimidated to approach them, because they think she is out of their league or already taken. And other women can be not very nice to them either because of jealousy or for other reasons that I don't fully comprehend (like a lot of other things about women that I just don't get!).

This is very true...<sigh> It's the story of my life!:frown1:

 

[petite]

Well, I think I must be interpreting this question differently than everyone else, since most everyone seems to be only looking at physical appearance or wealth. I think that anytime you look at a couple and you think, "She could find a better man than him," then that constitutes a belief that she's "out of his league" and that he's lucky to have her. To me, it isn't just appearance or wealth that make people think that one person in the couple is "better" than the other one, but factors like educational level, talent, IQ, personality traits, character (like loyalty or honesty), and charisma factor heavily, too. For example, person who is considered to be fun might seem mismatched with someone who is a bit of a downer and whose conversation is tiresome or boring. You can't tell me that the "fun" person's friends wouldn't secretly believe that the boring person isn't good enough for her. A person who is lazy and a liar might not seem good enough for a person who is hard working and honest and kind.

I think that most people have a kind of "mating calculator" in their heads where they calculate "league" status. A person who is wealthy and educated but perhaps not so young or especially funny might be considered a same league match with someone who isn't wealthy but has youth and charisma, youth and charisma being considered "equal" to wealth and education by whomever made that judgment. Obviously every person's calculator is different. For example, some people are going to consider beauty to be of higher value than intelligence, and other people consider the opposite to be true.