Ever *dumb* yourself down because you didn't want to seem too smart?

Principessa

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Arts degrees are kind of tailor made for the female personality and we don't graduate that many science degrees. That could explain that. A growing number of lazy ass men and a growing number of independent women.
:confused: What a bizarrely stupid thing to say. :rolleyes: I am so glad my man appreciates me as I am and has no problem with the fact I have a MS in Plastics Engineering as well as a BA in Art History.
 

whatireallywant

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Really? Hmm... That's a slight bit old-fashioned, isn't it? I'd like to think there are more neuances to my personality than simply male or female traits. I'm working on my PhD, it's science related - does that mean I should feel less ...uhmm... womanly?

I'm sure there are several reasons for why women choose traditional; personality traits are just one, the values we are taught another, advice from peers/ parents/ student guidance... The rate of women choosing non-traditional trades is steadily - yet slowly - increasing (well, at least in Europe and Northern America, those are the countries I'm more familiar with). I don't think that the male-female rate will necessarily reach 50-50 in many of the traditional gender biased fields like engineering or nursing, but I think what we look at as an untraditional choice today will seem less ...let's say surprising... within the near future.

As for the original poster; yes, I think women were more likely to tone down their sholastic abilities - and achievements - before. The more delicate traits were encouraged, women weren't supposed to excel past the eight grade. Also, it wasn't so many years ago that women were not allowed to spend her family's money on an education that would be of no use - after all, her mission was to be a mother and a housewife. Today, women have a choice to choose a career, a family, or the combination of the two. Still, though, I find that men are sometimes turned off by being outsmarted by a female... I'm with NJQT - I tend not to give a complete resume when I first meet someone: partly because I don't feel I'm solely defined by my choice in education, partly because I know it sometimes makes people uncomfortable.

To the OP; I think that girls and women of the younger generations speak more freely about most things; they are taught that they are entitled to an opinion, an education, a career, and a good life - it doesn't occur to us that we should ..uhmm... tone down in class or in work.

:confused: What a bizarrely stupid thing to say. :rolleyes: I am so glad my man appreciates me as I am and has no problem with the fact I have a MS in Plastics Engineering as well as a BA in Art History.

Yay!!! :smile:

I have a "combination of arts and science" degrees too - a BA in psychology and an AS in computer information systems.

I never did "dumb myself down" to "get a man" but I did reduce my vocabulary, not use so many "big words" around people in my hometown - both men and women, because they all thought I was a snob and they hated me. :frown1: Ironically, some of my "friends" in Mensa didn't think I was smart enough to qualify for Mensa! :eek: (I did qualify...) While I don't dumb myself down, I also don't restrict myself to just "highbrow" interests.

My psychology degree was actually wrong for me, and was more of an attempt to seem "normal" somehow, or figure out what was wrong with ME! My interests from early childhood on were more in the sciences, but I did have some discouragement there. Not just because I'm female, but also because I grew up around a bunch of (including in my family) religious fundamentalists who were against science teaching all that "anti-God" stuff like evolution...:rolleyes:

Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm suited for. I'd like to get back into IT, but most of the jobs posted are at a higher skill level than I have, or are in different programming languages than I know, or other aspects of technology that I don't know.
 

D_Ivana Dickenside

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in the past i've made myself appear un-informed, not "dumb," as a flirting technique. for instance, power tools... i know exactly how they operate and i know how to drill and assemble. i've just pretended i don't so i can have a big strong man show me how it's done :tongue: it works!
 
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D_Tintagel_Demondong

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:confused: What a bizarrely stupid thing to say. :rolleyes: I am so glad my man appreciates me as I am and has no problem with the fact I have a MS in Plastics Engineering as well as a BA in Art History.
Yay! We can discuss the difference between thermosets and thermoplastics, or why polypropylene makes better rope than a high-density polyethylene, or which polymer you think they'll finally make suspension bridges with. Yay!

I am a bit of a know-it-all, and I find it very difficult to 'dumb it down.' Sometimes I feel like my intellect is all I've got, and I try to show off my best feature. Having said that, there are a few people--mostly relatives-- who I dumb things down for because I know that I won't get a response otherwise.
 

Principessa

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Yay! We can discuss the difference between thermosets and thermoplastics, or why polypropylene makes better rope than a high-density polyethylene, or which polymer you think they'll finally make suspension bridges with. Yay!
Thermosets aren't usually recyclable, though I understand some labs are working on that. Polypropylene is stronger than HDPE. The actual bridge supports? :confused: Most plastics can't withstand the wind & water pressure needed for suspension bridges. Call me old fashioned but I'm more comfortable with concrete, steel, and brick for bridges.

I am a bit of a know-it-all, and I find it very difficult to 'dumb it down.' Sometimes I feel like my intellect is all I've got, and I try to show off my best feature. Having said that, there are a few people--mostly relatives-- who I dumb things down for because I know that I won't get a response otherwise.
hahaha OMG a few years ago when I was diagnosed with vulvar cancer I was trying to explain it to my ghetto cousin when I paused and said cancer of the 'cootch' that she understood. :tongue: :lmao:

in the past i've made myself appear un-informed, not "dumb," as a flirting technique. for instance, power tools... i know exactly how they operate and i know how to drill and assemble. i've just pretended i don't so i can have a big strong man show me how it's done :tongue: it works!
Oh, I've done that, that's not dumbing down that's just being smart. Men like to feel useful, I don't like to emasculate them.:cool:
 

D_Ivana Dickenside

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Oh, I've done that, that's not dumbing down that's just being smart. Men like to feel useful, I don't like to emasculate them.:cool:

yes! my point exactly. plus i get to do some "hands on" work. :tongue:


:eek: But how about them actually teaching you how to use the powertools sometime?:rolleyes::biggrin1:

oh invisi, you should know by now that i specialize in "powertools." :biggrin1:
 

ManlyBanisters

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I have never dumbed myself down - not for men, not for women, not for children - no one.

I am who I am - if a guy has a hang ups about a woman being clever then why on earth would I waste my time on him?

I've had a number of boyfriends and fuck buddies who were academically far less bright than me - I certainly never bored the poor bastards to death with discussions of Chomskian Generative Grammar, or whatever, but we still had plenty of stuff we connected on and I never pretended not to know something I did.
 

mattbuddy

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My girlfriend in High School was one of the smartest girls I knew and I found that such a turn on and great! I don't believe she ever dumbed herself down in front of the classroom...she just never expressed her answers out loud to the class unless a teacher called on her and she would never dumb herself down.
I thing smart, intelligent women are fantastic and they are such a turn on to me. I don't want some brainless unintelligent girl.
 

got_lost

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I've been known to. :cool:

But also I've worked in a very male environment where they've assumed it... and I've let them think it.... til I whoop their arses! :biggrin1:

So sometimes it's quite a clever tactic... :wink:
Though they thought of it all on their own! :rolleyes: and I just played to it... for a while! :smile:
 

nudeyorker

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You know what? Don't ever dumb yourself down or let someone try to do it to you! If you stay as your are; you will go far... playing games is for children. Being the best possible you is being proud of who you are and what you know and "Don't take any prisoners" ...You are better than that!
 

nay-nay

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i think it's *dumb* to do that. why not just be yourself? :rolleyes:

intelligence is sexy. :biggrin1:
 

D_Tamerton Taintpussie

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I'm forever biting my lip.

My ex-fiance was a super bright, alpha male, but emotionally stunted. My last boyfriend was fairly bright, but did not have any tertiary education, and had a huge chip on his shoulder about that, and the fact that I do. I often used smaller words around him, to make him more comfortable.

My sense of humour can also come off as slightly sarcastic, so I dumb down on that too sometimes. If I'm completely myself all the time then I'm forever explaining obscure nuances to people. Every now and again (but very rarely) I meet someone who gets me, and that is a total joy

That said, the thought of finding an intellectual equal that I have chemistry with, and who would not be intimidated, would be great. I hear about men who are turned on by intelligent, feisty women, but I don't seem to come across them :rolleyes:.
 

Runco

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I don't dumb down but I do tend to be less outspoken in certain situations.