Ever fall for a friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lokican, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. lokican

    lokican Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2004
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    This question is intended for the gay or bisexuals out their, but it can be applied to straight male/girl friendships as well. Have you ever fallen for a friend before? Me and a good friend who is also bi-sexual, have fallen in to the trap where we fell for a friend, and as a result held them to a different standard, I.E. treat them like your their boyfriends/girlfriends. This has happened to me often, gotta say its almost like an inner demon, has caused drama, and affected me negatively. Has anyone else ever experienced this?
     
  2. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Lokican, you are not alone! This question is probably the most frequent relationship question among the gay and bi-guys on this site. Frankly I don't understand it, but that's just me.

    If I have a crush on a guy and find out he is gay. Yes, this has happend one or two times many, many years ago then I no longer think of him in a romantic fashion. I either back off entirely or I become his A-List fag hag. It would never occur to me to pursue a gay man and try to change him. I'm good, but I'm not that good. :wink::cool:
     
  3. marwan80

    marwan80 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2007
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    dude, I'm going through one myself right now. I am so in love with my best friend. He's just perfect! I noticed that I have been treating him like a bf when he opened his Christmas presents infront of his family (I spent Christmas with him). We're both students, but I saved up to get him a ticket to fly out to Atlanta to visit me for Spring Break. I kinda felt like a douche. But, you know what, shit happens.
     
  4. lokican

    lokican Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2004
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Marwan, I have been in that situation many times before, if your friend is straight honestly, start to pursue a romantic relationship of your own, even if your friend is bi or gay he still may not return your feelings. My advice keep the friendship but pursue something else, even a one night stand.
     
  5. BiItalianBro

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,246
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago & Louisville KY
    It happened allot when I was in my teens/early 20s and coming to terms with being turned on by both genders. As time goes by you will learn how to let go of those feelings and love your male friends in an appropriate, platonic matter. I remember getting really confused when I was young by 'boys will be boys' stupidity being latent curiosity...well, its usually not.

    My friendships today (straight, bi and gay) are based on mutual interests and character. We all go through stuff, but I choose to surround myself people people who shun unnecessary drama. If I find myself in a friendship that is keeping me up at night...its time to re-evaluate that relationship. Sure, some of them are hot and I have seen some naked...but the thought of 'getting with' them is about as appealing as using barb wire in a fleshlight :eek:.
     
  6. toad8it

    toad8it New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    It happens alot,trust me.I seem to go thru with it after being a good friend to someone for a while.Just seems that would be the next natural step in the "friendship" .It doesn't work out with some becuase of their "preferences",but I can accept that and still be their friend.It hurts a bit,but that's what fantasys are for,lol
     
  7. Realslik

    Realslik Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Messages:
    71
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Africa
    Am currently pursuing a friend, ha! I want him so bad..
     
  8. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    I've fallen in love with a friend a couple times and, stepped in it a few times too.
     
  9. basque9

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,358
    Albums:
    14
    Likes Received:
    40,436
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore (MD, US)
    It happened to me in my teens, before I realized I was destined to be gay! I knew I had very special feelings for my best friend....he seemed perfect in every way! We went on to attend the same college and that is when our friendship became somewhat estranged. Competitiveness and unrequited love kept us distant! I saw him one time after college and our military service were completed and he felt the need to mention to me that he was NOT GAY! The pointedness of that remark hit me hard and we have never seen one another since! That is just as well, because incredibly, I still dream about him occasionally!
     
    Allan S. likes this.
Draft saved Draft deleted