Ever feel like life would be less complicated if u didn't deal with dudes?

Infernal

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I guess for me, the type of dudes that catch my attention tend to be alpha male types like me. While I have had fun times I can't image cohabiting with them, there would be to much conflict/not enough compromise...I just don't see it working at all, but that's just me.


Living together isn't for everyone. I got along better with my partner before we moved in together. He wants things his way, and so do I. He's got a big type A personality and is a control freak. His 83 year old mother asked him if he realized that I just let him think he's the one in control and he wasn't happy at all.

As for other things _ I get what you're saying. When I was single there were times when I really wanted to get laid, but didn't want to deal with another guy. I just wanted a hole to fuck and would have been happy for someone to come in the door, bend over, and leave when I was finished. The issue was getting to that point usually involved some cocky attitude, bullshit, or stupid personal drama.
 

hrdhatdad

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Personally, I don't see anything offensive in his comments. He's never fallen in love with a dude and doesn't see a point in living with a guy. I think he's expressing what currently feels right for him.
 

mx3

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This is my first real post. I usually just read. To try to answer the original question, I am bi and married and sometimes I wish I was able to choose to like only women. I was very shy when I was younger and didn't explore my sexuality much. When I fell in love with a woman and enjoyed sex with her, I thought I'd be fine living the rest of my life with just her.

Jump forward a few years after we married and had kids I started experimenting with men behind her back. Life is a whole lot more complicated than I ever thought it would be and very often I feel like a terrible person. I know the blame is all with me but I am 34 and I do have a hope that people just a little younger than me are growing up in a world where sexual experimentation is far more accepted and even expected.
 

englad

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No. You projected your preconceived notions onto me. Why would you assume that all 7 billion people in this world would interpret the use of the word "lifestyle" in this context the way YOU do? I think that word is public domain when it comes to the gay issue and not skewed towards the christian right at all.


Generally when the word "lifestyle" is used the connotations are with the christian right, WHY?

Because they are the ones that invented the term, just like "gay agenda". Your interpretation makes zero difference in this case, if you are going to post something like this had you not intended it to be offensive, you would have had the common sense to have worded your post differently. I dunno something like "I don't identify with many gay/bi men" maybe.......

As for your advice, thank you I found it HILARIOUS! Closet cases with your mentality always crack me up.

Especially seeing as you're the one upset with your sexuality, I'm completely comfortable with mine. :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:
 
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englad

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Clearly you don't speak for everyone who has bothered to opine in this thread. Subjectivity is a mutha...

And yeah, how dare I have insecurities...but we both now that wasn't what you were yapping about.

Actually that was written out in bold red letters all over everything you've written.

I don't care who I speak for, it's amazing what people will say when they're behind a computer screen and not having to deal with the real world........
 

invisibleman

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I could and have lived with men. I never thought it a bad thing at all. I never wanted a wife. I never wanted children. I am happy. (Some may think "Oh, that is sad." Honestly, I am happy.)

I think that life would be less complicated if there weren't any men. Probably a lot of life's stupid hangups and ills probably would be eliminated...if there weren't any men.
 

Oprime

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Living together isn't for everyone. I got along better with my partner before we moved in together. He wants things his way, and so do I. He's got a big type A personality and is a control freak. His 83 year old mother asked him if he realized that I just let him think he's the one in control and he wasn't happy at all.

As for other things _ I get what you're saying. When I was single there were times when I really wanted to get laid, but didn't want to deal with another guy. I just wanted a hole to fuck and would have been happy for someone to come in the door, bend over, and leave when I was finished. The issue was getting to that point usually involved some cocky attitude, bullshit, or stupid personal drama.

I appreciate your insight and honesty. You've hit the nail on the head too. It's not a natural inclination for me to live with a dude, and if I had to guess, I'd say Im not alone. Heck, living with a girl is gonna be tough for me...lol.
 

Oprime

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Personally, I don't see anything offensive in his comments. He's never fallen in love with a dude and doesn't see a point in living with a guy. I think he's expressing what currently feels right for him.

Thanks guy. God forbid anyone should have the audacity to break rank.
 

Oprime

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This is my first real post. I usually just read. To try to answer the original question, I am bi and married and sometimes I wish I was able to choose to like only women. I was very shy when I was younger and didn't explore my sexuality much. When I fell in love with a woman and enjoyed sex with her, I thought I'd be fine living the rest of my life with just her.

Jump forward a few years after we married and had kids I started experimenting with men behind her back. Life is a whole lot more complicated than I ever thought it would be and very often I feel like a terrible person. I know the blame is all with me but I am 34 and I do have a hope that people just a little younger than me are growing up in a world where sexual experimentation is far more accepted and even expected.

Dude, you are NOT alone in your struggles. And don't allow anyone to ever make you feel like your less of a person because you don't conform to their personal image of themselves. It is complicated dealing with attraction to both sexes and anyone who tells you that it's cut and dry, black/white is either are liar, ignorant or angry about something and projecting that anger onto you. I don't judge you. I'm afraid I'll be you in a few years.
 
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Oprime

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Generally when the word "lifestyle" is used the connotations are with the christian right, WHY?

Because they are the ones that invented the term, just like "gay agenda". Your interpretation makes zero difference in this case, if you are going to post something like this had you not intended it to be offensive, you would have had the common sense to have worded your post differently. I dunno something like "I don't identify with many gay/bi men" maybe.......

As for your advice, thank you I found it HILARIOUS! Closet cases with your mentality always crack me up.

Especially seeing as you're the one upset with your sexuality, I'm completely comfortable with mine. :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

I've already asked you to stop projecting your flavor of the word onto me. Again, there are 7 billion people in this world. You need to manage your exceptions if you expect to everyone else to believe, know, agree with what you do. It's even more hilarious that you think terms like "closet cases" are some sort of jab at people who are not like you. I find that amusing and ironic at how intolerant you are.

Your completely comfortable with your sexuality? God Bless You!! Ride off into the sunset brother!!
 
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Oprime

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Actually that was written out in bold red letters all over everything you've written.

I don't care who I speak for, it's amazing what people will say when they're behind a computer screen and not having to deal with the real world........

And that's exactly why your megalomaniacal blabbering means nothing. Kick rocks dude...
 

Oprime

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I could and have lived with men. I never thought it a bad thing at all. I never wanted a wife. I never wanted children. I am happy. (Some may think "Oh, that is sad." Honestly, I am happy.)

I think that life would be less complicated if there weren't any men. Probably a lot of life's stupid hangups and ills probably would be eliminated...if there weren't any men.

Alot of people have a hard time processing those statements. You can't image this pressure to get married when u reach a certain age (or maybe you can). It's relentless!
 

The Dragon

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Oprime,

I think this is the reason why it's so vital to be up front and honest with your bisexuality and your need to have both in your life.
If you can not or will not be monogamous then lay your cards out on the table from the outset.
Sure there will be rejection but swallow that jagged little pill very early in the piece, right from the outset and there will be less emotional attachment and it'll hurt less when they opt out.
For me..yes it's been a hard road but I've managed to find that balance..finally.

I have my beautiful lady whom I adore but she understands my desire for men.
She loves me enough to know that regardless of the feelings, desires, and flirtations I have with men that I will always come back to her.

People who will accept you for who you are and where you are at are out there.....you just have to be honest.
 

Oprime

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Oprime,

I think this is the reason why it's so vital to be up front and honest with your bisexuality and your need to have both in your life.
If you can not or will not be monogamous then lay your cards out on the table from the outset.
Sure there will be rejection but swallow that jagged little pill very early in the piece, right from the outset and there will be less emotional attachment and it'll hurt less when they opt out.
For me..yes it's been a hard road but I've managed to find that balance..finally.

I have my beautiful lady whom I adore but she understands my desire for men.
She loves me enough to know that regardless of the feelings, desires, and flirtations I have with men that I will always come back to her.

People who will accept you for who you are and where you are at are out there.....you just have to be honest.

Hey you.

So I hear what your saying. I think that culturally, there are some differences here. I don't see myself living myself living with a man, I do have a desire to marry a girl and raise a family. Generally speaking, I don't think African American women are as open to the idea of dating bisexual men.
In fact, it can be safely assumed that revealing that kind of information would cause an immediate and angry reaction with most. I can think of some women I have dated in the past who would tell any and everybody who will listen to them if they were told (friends, family, strangers). And that's not an exaggeration.

So yes, I hear you about being honest, but I have to also be wise in my decisions as well and take things on a case by case basis, but the idea that an African American woman would be comfortable with a serious relationship with a bisexual dude is not particularly realistic. Not impossible, but that path is fraught land mines. BOOM....I like my limbs.
 

The Dragon

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Well then...I have to ask the question is there a reason why you must date African American women if your perception of them is that they won't accept you?
Are they your female preference?

I'm not knocking you for having a preference and you are completely entitled to be attracted to whom you are attracted to.
I'm just trying to understand.
 

lynxz23

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Don't you think you are lying to yourself and maybe you really are gay or bisexual I don't think its fair to you're gf.