Ever Feel Sex is Overrated?

[earllogjam]

It's amazing how much build up sex has on here and in our society.

Is having sex the be all to end all? How much is the importance of sex in your life coming from external expectations? Do you feel bad if you aren't getting any because you are made to feel odd if you don't have sex or want to?

Why does it seem that every bit of popular culture/media here is focused on it?

Is something that's supposed to be natural become so sensationalized and blown out of proportion that it makes other important things in your life smaller?

 

[BerndVarandisa]

Sex is the best fun ever, but it's like a very very very tasty piece of cake. You work out the rest of the analogy.

(ok, so it doesn't make you fat, but it ends there.)

 

[Disco_diesel]

Are you doing it right?

 

[Mr. Snakey]

No its a gift from the gods.

 

[deleted15807]

Is having sex the be all to end all?

Well we know that ain't true. If it were hookers would be the happiest people on the planet. The profession everyone wants to get into.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Sex is way overblown in its importance.

This is predominantly because of the schizophrenic nature of Judeo/Islamo/Christian culture.

We are drawn to the forbidden, the sinful, especially when it is something we are driven to do genetically.


While the sex DRIVE is very intense... sex itself tends to be, in reality, fairly brief and fun.... and, with practice, not that intense.
To try and keep it intense, many folks push the limits into more and more forbidden, more and more sinful fantasies of sex...


But the nature of human experience is that we can get USED to anything if it happens often enough.


I recall a Greek philosopher who was asked how he felt about how his advancing years were affecting his libido...
he replied that he saw it with the same relief as a man finally being able to get off the back of a wild horse.

Sex is certainly fun and certainly satisfies that genetic itch to reproduce... even if we fool ourselves with birth control...


But when I look at the greatest achievements of mankind... art, architecture, literature, theatre, civilization... sex really doesn't even factor in except as a plot device.


If I had to give up either sex, or the ability and opportunity to create...
It would be no contest...
Creating is the far more pleasurable and satisfying experience.

 

[homelessmandril]

well said Phil

 

[ZOS23xy]

Sex is of importance but I can listen to music for longer periods of time, or write, or draw. Or watch movies. Or talk to people.

I think Isaac Asimov was asked about sex versus writing, and he said "I can type twelve hours straight." I think he wrote over 200 books.

The territories are different with each person.

 

[BIGBULL29]

I'm been celibate for quite sometime. I enjoy it (no complications, no STD's, no emotional worries). Masturbation works very well for me.:biggrin1:

What I miss: kissing and intimacy (I can live without it, though).

 

[lucky8]

first off, a lot of people that make a big deal about sex aren't getting laid as often as they lead on. for me at least, i dont mind if i dont get laid by my gf everyday. if the sex is good, i can deal with it. but if the sex is bad between a girl and i, im probably not going to be so willing to have a relationship with her. sex is important, but it's definately not the end of all means.

as for the media/pop culture, sex sells. everyone enjoys looking at attractive people, so it makes sense that sexiness is often used in marketing; it keeps people's attention.

 

[Drifterwood]

Another good thread Earl :smile:

In one respect, sex is how we all got here and how, in one way or another, everyone will. So it is quite important.

When sex is overrated, you are probably having sex with the wrong person or people.

Personally, I have found sex to be the ultimate expression of the love that I have felt, and even when not love, my emotion and passion. Never use sex to get off - that's what your hands are for :biggrin1:. Great sex is about giving and receiving, not taking. When you get it right, it certainly can't be overrated.

All that said, I agree with why you would post this question. Guys are sold and buy into sex for getting off - wrong wrong wrong. Sex without emotion is like a spell without a potion.

 

[Mr. Bungle]

I sometimes think sex is overrated... only when I'm NOT gettin it though.. :biggrin1:

 

[DC_DEEP]

It's amazing how much build up sex has on here and in our society.

Is having sex the be all to end all?

That depends. A lot of people have sex for the wrong reasons - high on that list is "to prove something"... prove you love someone, prove how manly you are, prove that you desirable... none of that really matters. In the right context, though, sex can be transcendent.

How much is the importance of sex in your life coming from external expectations?

If I understand your question here, my answer is "none at all."

Do you feel bad if you aren't getting any because you are made to feel odd if you don't have sex or want to?

Not in the least. See above. What other people think or expect influences my sex life exactly zero percent. I do it because my partner and I want to, and for no other reason.

Why does it seem that every bit of popular culture/media here is focused on it?

Sex sells for two very important reasons: it's a "forbidden" subject, and almost everyone wants to imagine that they are sexy.

It's interesting that you tie some of these seemingly disparate concepts together, because in an odd way, they are interrelated and interdependent. Popular culture focuses on sex, because people feel those external expectations; and people feel those external expectations, because popular culture focuses on sex. Oddly enough, I am kind of immune to that. Bouncing tits or a bulging crotch may influence me to buy a porn DVD, but definitely won't influence me to by a particular car or brand of liquor. I guess I'm too pragmatic to fall for that one.

Is something that's supposed to be natural become so sensationalized and blown out of proportion that it makes other important things in your life smaller?

Since I really don't care what anyone else thinks about my sex life, all the sensationalization doesn't really skew my feelings about sex. It's important, but not my top priority. Not even close to my top priority.

 

[B_jacknapier]

People who think sex is overrated probably just aren't doing it right.

 

[WifeOfBath]

Well, when I'm not getting it, it's never overrated.

When I am getting it, it can feel overrated-- usually because life steps in with more pressing concerns.

 

[Principessa]

Another good thread Earl :smile:

In one respect, sex is how we all got here and how, in one way or another, everyone will. So it is quite important.

When sex is overrated, you are probably having sex with the wrong person or people.

I agree, that has at least been my experience.

Personally, I have found sex to be the ultimate expression of the love that I have felt, and even when not love, my emotion and passion. Never use sex to get off - that's what your hands are for :biggrin1:. Great sex is about giving and receiving, not taking. When you get it right, it certainly can't be overrated.

AMEN! The only time I have felt sex was overrated was when I wasn't getting any or I had an unpleasant or empty experience emotionally.

All that said, I agree with why you would post this question. Guys are sold and buy into sex for getting off - wrong wrong wrong.

Sex without emotion is like a spell without a potion.

Interesting analogy I would say it's more like a pizza without cheese. :biggrin1:

 

[unabear09]

I'm been celibate for quite sometime. I enjoy it (no complications, no STD's, no emotional worries). Masturbation works very well for me.:biggrin1:

What I miss: kissing and intimacy (I can live without it, though).

Amen bigbull! I haven't had sex in over 2 years now, and honestly, I don't really miss it. My hands and my toys keep me in good shape most of the time, though a few times a month I kinda go crazy and like REALLY REALLY want to be inside a woman. Those days suck lol. As you stated above, the things I miss most about being in a relationship are the intimacy, the love, the touch, the romance one experiences with another person. I am determined, however, that the next time I have sex with someone, that that person will be someone that I am deeply in love with, and could spend the rest of my life together with them. I want to make love to a woman, and have sex as sex was intended to be, the ultimate act of love. Once we get beyond the intitial acts of love making, then we can screw like bunnies, though passionate, love filled sex will still be a major part of our sexual relationship. I'm a romantic at heart, and want to swoon a woman, make her fall in love with me for who I am, not for my body or any other physical attribution I may or may not have.

 

[Principessa]

Amen bigbull! I haven't had sex in over 2 years now, and honestly, I don't really miss it. My hands and my toys keep me in good shape most of the time, though a few times a month I kinda go crazy and like REALLY REALLY want to be inside a woman. Those days suck lol. As you stated above, the things I miss most about being in a relationship are the intimacy, the love, the touch, the romance one experiences with another person. I am determined, however, that the next time I have sex with someone, that that person will be someone that I am deeply in love with, and could spend the rest of my life together with them. I want to make love to a woman, and have sex as sex was intended to be, the ultimate act of love. Once we get beyond the intitial acts of love making, then we can screw like bunnies, though passionate, love filled sex will still be a major part of our sexual relationship. I'm a romantic at heart, and want to swoon a woman, make her fall in love with me for who I am, not for my body or any other physical attribution I may or may not have.

njqt466 swoons! :redface::wink: Get's up and starts packing her bags to go to NW Alabama.

 

[Drifterwood]

I would say it's more like a pizza without cheese. :biggrin1:

Buffalo Girl :tongue:

I'm a Marinara man. :wink:

 

[PukingBristols]

I think it's because of sex that humanity is on the downfall it is. Could you imagine how much easier life would be without sex. If that co-worker wasn't sexy. If that young hottie didn't tempt you into cheating. Not to mention there'd be no emphasis on looks.