Ever get the sense of why a person is still single after meeting them?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by earllogjam, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. earllogjam

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    Is it rude to tell a friend or acqaintance why they might be having trouble finding or keeping a mate especially if it is a personality, behavioral or physical aspect that they could remedy? Basically calling out their unattractive qualities.

    Or should you just shut the fuck up to keep a friendship? Hell, they'll figure it out without your help.
     
  2. D_Dr_Dickmento

    D_Dr_Dickmento New Member

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    Uh... yes, you should definitely *insert the rest here*. It's really nothing of your concern, in all honesty. To imply that the person is "incomplete", in your opinion, without a partner is just downright offensive... who are you/who am I to question said person? Finally, if the friend is so close to you that feel comfortable enough to discuss such a thing, surely it can be assumed that he/she would bring up the topic as and when they felt necessary, sans encouragement?
     
    #2 D_Dr_Dickmento, Jan 27, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2012
  3. Willifred

    Willifred New Member

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    Sweet Jesus.

    Shut the hell up, unless they ask you for your advice, and even then be very kind.
     
  4. aninnymouse

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    This.

    If they ask you about it, or about any flaws in their personality, etc...then yeah, but be very kind, and always point out strengths.

    If they don't, it's better to keep your mouth shut...
     
  5. LaFemme

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    Be very kind! I would hope that if any of my friends knew why I was single, they would be very kind to me when sharing that information.
     
  6. rbkwp

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    Or should you just shut the fuck up to keep a friendship? Hell, they'll figure it out without your help.

    Yep
    Shut the Fuck up.....................


    I think friendship peaks, when both are totally compatible, when every possible thing jels, but like anything in life, it goes on the wane, and a long lasting friendship can be pretty damn rare, me thinks .. no matter the promises of on going loyalty.
    we all change eventually.............
    Always going to get / have got,the busy body (usually female, SORRY ladies), who will decide what you are / or should have been, according to them
    was married
    GAY
    should have been married
    Fcked......
    I will change him, etc etc etc. grrrrrrrrrr
     
  7. pcghabsy

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    Many people will be offended if you ask them such a question, even with tact. But some might want to discuss it. So, it is up to your judgment. If you are not sure, don't ask.
     
  8. madman411

    madman411 Member

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    i met a guy recently who says he's never been in a relationship, or at least a serious one. though i admire him and like him a lot, i can see why. though he appears to be interested in me, he always asks why i'm interested in him. he's stubborn, narcissistic, sarcastic, to name a few things. for the most part i manage to look past it and admire him for all his good qualities, though it's quite obvious why he's never been in a relationship. i would never tell him these things unless it was brought up in a conversation or the situation felt appropriate.
     
  9. concupisys

    concupisys Active Member

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    i am often asked this question, and am never offended by it even though i find the repetitive posing of it to be somewhat annoying.... like, why HAVEN'T i been in a relationship or had a boyfriend? the answer to that question is as clear to me as day.... what i DO find offensive are those who pressure me to 'date' them, and then throw my shortcomings in my face as a retaliation or protection device when i respectfully decline their offers and intentions.... i personally think that says more about them than it does about me, as i'm very clear with people from the beginning that i'm not interested in dating and relationships.... whether that's my fault or someone else's is nobody's business but mine, but it becomes bothersome when people push what they see as an issue and then get all pissy because i tell them something they don't want to hear....
     
  10. gimme_another_inch

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    Ooops, this is a very weird situation, I have been into it, seen it, lived it.

    I think if you do care about a real friend you might "hint", not that something in him/her is wrong but, maybe, that some behaviors...

    Fact is many of the so-called/self-claimed 'friends' would never say a truth in the fear to loose the 'friendship', real one, on the other hand, wouldn't be afraid of telling, it's a very delicate balance to keep, either be it a friendship or a relationship, the rule, in my opinion, should be not to say anything unless called for, in the latter case then finding the right words if this person is open to a criticism which could lead to a self analysis of the behaviors keeping mates apart.

    If you should the fuck up just to keep the friendship you are just keeping an acquaintance, you are not a real friend, IMHO
     
  11. gimme_another_inch

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    sounds like your friend is a Scorpio
     
  12. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    I apreciate well thought out blunt honesty,

    But general rule is don't offer help unless people ask you.
     
  13. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    In my experience unsolicited advice is often poorly received, regardless of the topic.
     
  14. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    I would only talk to them about it after knowing them awhile. I would not "pass judgement" on someone shortly after meeting them, altho that's what a lot of people do. I meet a lot of people when I'm out for a drink, like listening to live music, etc. and I find people make snap judgements about each other quite often, and many times people are way different acting drunk from sober.
     
  15. Gecko4lif

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    sums up my thoughts on the matters quite nicely
     
  16. rbkwp

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    Hope you dont hate me THAT much Gecko.. hah
     
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