Ever give the "shy guy" a chance?

[petite]

I heard a good explanation once of the difference. Confidence is when you can say, "I'm good", arrogance is when you say, "I'm better than you".

I think that's right.

And what's wrong with me? I didn't actually see jerkassboy being a bridge arsonist multiple times. Why did I write that?

 

[RawDog]

I think that's right.

And what's wrong with me? I didn't actually see jerkassboy being a bridge arsonist multiple times. Why did I write that?

I tend to lump arrogant people in one bunch and just hate the lot equally. Maybe that's why?

 

[pokerus]

See in the past I used always approach women and start a nice conversation. They'd get interested but I'd get too nervous to take it a step further.

 

[xX_Sarah_Xx]

See in the past I used always approach women and start a nice conversation. They'd get interested but I'd get too nervous to take it a step further.

Why? If you have good conversation, and you're attracted to her, why not take it a step further? The worst she could do is say no, but at least then you'd know, in stead of wondering the whole next week if she would have given you a maybe or yes.
You might be surprised about how well it works out... :smile:

 

[mexdude]

Once my a female frind told me that some girls said that i was too "cocky", i was more like serious in the way i saw it, i also never spoked to many people, but now im trying to look less serious, smile a little bit, so i dnt look so hard to talk

 

[Hassall]

My husband is extremely reluctant to approach new people. He isn't particularly comfortable talking to people he's already met, for that matter.

Once you get to know him though, you discover:
He has accomplished many things for himself, and he's extremely proud of each and every one. In fact, he will tell you in great detail how each and every achievement was won, if you'll let him.

He is incredibly observant. He knows his observational kills are well-above average. He loves to show this off. He loves to point out things he notices that no one else notices.

He has lightning-fast reflexes. He brags a lot about this, but he can also back up his arrogant claims.

He's brilliant. He knows he's really smart, and is very disdainful and very unforgiving of stupidity. Sometimes he is way too arrogant about being more intelligent than others. The things that come out of his mouth in that regard shock me at times.

Sometimes, I'm convinced he believes he can never do any wrong. That's cultural though. His mother treats him like the third-best thing since Jesus. (She and her husband are things one and two, their daughter is thing four.)

He is as stealthy as a ninja and he knows it. When he was assigned to a ship, there was a guy who outranked him, a chief I believe who had a security clearance even higher than his. My husband had a set of keys very few had high enough clearances to also have. I believe three others on the whole ship had those keys, including this chief. This chief had a security clearance even higher than that of the ship's commander, and there was one key on his ring that no one else had. My husband used to take a lot of glee from stealing this key, and then asking the chief for access to the closet it opened, and returning the key only after the chief lost his mind looking for it. Sometimes, he'd just take them, and put them back in his hands, reminding him that his own possession of the keys was a security breach that needed prevention. If that's not arrogance, I don't know what is. A third does not do that to a chief (or to a second, for that matter)

He is full of righteous indignation regarding the behavior of others in contrast to his own code of honor and ethics.

His is very full of pride. Most of it is justified. Some of it is pure arrogance.

Damn, for a minute I thought you were talking about meat:Although I must say I have lost a touch of the arrogance...nearly 10 years of living with back inuries will tend to knock some wind out of your sails though. I would have called myself more confident than arrogant though. I am good at most things I do, and tend to excell at them, but I also know that there is always room for improvement. I tend to "shy" away from people more out of preference to keep drama out of my life. I guess that would make me more reserved than shy I quess. When it comes to women though, I could probably be a bit more out going.

 

[B_curiousme01]

Being shy is not a cause for not getting a date. It's if you cannot carry on a conversation that stifles anything moving forward after the initial "Hello."

 

[petite]

I tend to lump arrogant people in one bunch and just hate the lot equally. Maybe that's why?

I was making fun of myself for my inaccurate usage of the word "literally" as a meaningless intensifier. :tongue:

I should not have said that I literally saw him burning bridges, but that I actually saw him burning bridges.

I also dislike arrogance a lot! Mostly because I don't think that the people who are treated with arrogance tend to deserve it, but it's such a common human flaw that it depends on to which degree and about what and in what situation and with what frequency. Also, I have no problem with feeling superior to people like jerkassboys! So I have my own complex set of rules for when and how a person can be "acceptably" superior feeling or acting, depending on if I feel that someone deserves to be treated with that kind of disrespect. In general, though, I totally agree with you. I dislike arrogance so much that it makes me cringe when I hear that some people consider it a positive personality trait.

 

[aajjxx]

Shy guys are probably as attractive to women as fat girls are attractive to men.

 

[basincreek]

So what if you are a terribly shy guy that rarely if ever approaches a women (when a rare single one is spotted) but totally would open up to her in every way if given the chance?

 

[hsarge]

Basin get off your ass and do something about it; quit whining. You do nothing for fear of failure ,which assures you will accomplish nothing.

 

[basincreek]

What? I'm just asking a simple question here.

 

[petite]

What? I'm just asking a simple question here.

Honestly, if you don't get over being shy and try living for once, you'll probably die a virgin and alone, if you don't choose to visit a bunny ranch for sex. Even the shy guys I dated did something that started off our relationship. It wasn't like they just sat around waiting for me to scoop them up.

 

[redbear52]

Are there any of those bunny ranches in Indiana?

Do you have to have whiskers and real long ears to get laid there?

 

[pokerus]

Does that mean you expect men to approach you instead of you approaching them?

 

[basincreek]

Honestly, if you don't get over being shy and try living for once, you'll probably die a virgin and alone, if you don't choose to visit a bunny ranch for sex. Even the shy guys I dated did something that started off our relationship. It wasn't like they just sat around waiting for me to scoop them up.

What exactly did they do?

I mean it's not like I'm not looking for interest. And if I do think that I see any I tend to make a move.

 

[phonehome]

Not to jack this thread but----

Altered ego, I was in the Navy for 22 years and had the highest level of security clearances and I can say for a fact that NO ONE on a ship has a HIGHER level clearance than the ships CO they may have a clearance of equal level but HIGHER than the CO?? Absolultly NOT!!

Secondly items of that level security, code materials, clasified hardwardware etc are NOT protected by "key" type locks they are stored/protected in actual safes or heavy duty normally fireproof steel "file cabinets" that are locked with combination locks and not your run of the mill "master lock" but high security combo locks that were referred to as "greenleaf locks" because the majority of them were made by that company.

It's a nice "sea story" though

 

[petite]

Are there any of those bunny ranches in Indiana?

Do you have to have whiskers and real long ears to get laid there?

LOL!

Does that mean you expect men to approach you instead of you approaching them?

Yes. I do.

I'm sure there are a lot of men who would like it if more women chased, like Basincreek and yourself, but it didn't work out in the cases where I tried it. I see nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man, and in fact I've even tried it myself a few times when I was much much younger, but without any success. Those were men who piqued my interest and I wanted to get to know them better, so I tried my hand at chasing them long ago. I think most men expect to be the pursuer so when a woman attempts to take the initiative, they over-react and act childish, especially if they're young men.

Of course, I've never really had to be the pursuer, since I've always had more men interested in dating me than I've had time to date them. Most men throw out a lot of game, and most men pursue heavily. The last time I was single, in the two weeks before TheBF asked me out on a date (which is what I was waiting for!) a dozen male friends asked me out on a date. They weren't waiting for me to chase them! They lept at the opportunity to take me out, and if I didn't already have my heart set on TheBF, who had actually already asked me out once months before, on the day we first met when he didn't know that I had a boyfriend, then a lot of those guys who asked me out first would have had a chance with me. I would have considered several of them, and I wouldn't have considered them at all if they didn't take a chance and pursued me. In fact, things could have fallen through with TheBF, in which case, I would have probably dated around some, but only the men who actually asked me out!

The traditional method of sending out lots of signals and hoping that the guy notices and returns interest has been what has works for me. Or simply returning a man's interest when a cute charming guy is obviously attempting to pick me up. That works really well. Also, saying, "Yes," when a man asks me out to dinner has worked for me in the past.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with women pursuing men, but it's really rare, and she probably have to really like you a lot to do it, and then you would have to be extremely lucky to find that that particular woman is one that you're interested in also! You might be waiting forever for love to find you, when you could just go out and live life and have experiences worth having (even if some experiences you have end up being negative) and have a life worth looking back on. It's up to you.

What exactly did they do?

I mean it's not like I'm not looking for interest. And if I do think that I see any I tend to make a move.

They did the same things that non-shy guys do: talk to me a lot, make lots of eye contact, exchange looks across the room, joke around, asking for my phone number to ask me out on a date, telling me that they're attracted or interested in me, sending me love letters, try to kiss me when the moment appears just right, kissing me when the moment was just right!

 

[basincreek]

Ugh, I hate the making eye contact thing. I try it and women always seem to get very uncomfortable and it eventually gives way to either a grimace or a "you have no idea what you are doing" type of grin.

I must be doing it wrong or something.

Never exchanged looks with anyone. I mean I look but no one's ever looked back.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Not to jack this thread but----

Altered ego, I was in the Navy for 22 years and had the highest level of security clearances and I can say for a fact that NO ONE on a ship has a HIGHER level clearance than the ships CO they may have a clearance of equal level but HIGHER than the CO?? Absolultly NOT!!

Secondly items of that level security, code materials, clasified hardwardware etc are NOT protected by "key" type locks they are stored/protected in actual safes or heavy duty normally fireproof steel "file cabinets" that are locked with combination locks and not your run of the mill "master lock" but high security combo locks that were referred to as "greenleaf locks" because the majority of them were made by that company.

It's a nice "sea story" though

The CO had absolutely no permission to access the equipment in that closet. I won't violate OPSEC by discussing the details of how one accesses the closet, but I will say that no matter what else you have to do, you can't get in without the key. Also, this isn't the Navy. This isn't DOD. This is Homeland Security. That particular Commander had a TS, but this chief required an even higher clearance to do his job. You are prior Navy, this is USCG. Not all branches do everything the same way.