Ever had a "Man Crush?"

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. BIGdkluver

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    I was watching a TV sitcom recently, and the wife accused her husband of having a "man crush" on one of his male friends.

    I guess this question is mainly for all you "str8" dudes out there.
    Have you ever had a man crush on one of your male friends or known a guy who has had one?

    I suppose the term means something like this:
    A mostly (or all) "str8" guy feels an almost subconscious "attraction" to another male friend who is good looking, well built, and perhaps well endowed. He likes hanging around this guy, and also wants this guy to be around him. He "likes" the guy a lot and wants the guy to like him in return.

    So, any str8 guy out there ever had feelings like that toward another dude? Just wondering. I'd like to hear about it. Thanks! :smile:
     
  2. MattBrick

    MattBrick Member

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    I'm not sure. I know though that many psychologist assert that all friendships are based to some degree on mutual (physical) atraction.
     
  3. Mr. Snakey

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    This whole Strt8 thing is a bunch of bull shit. It makes me wanna put a wig and dress on all of them.
     
  4. chris4869

    chris4869 New Member

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    Maybe it's a psychological problem traced back to his early school days. He wants to be with the popular kids and he wants them to like him back. Popularity is mostly based on appearances/look. :biggrin1:

    Yes Mrs. Thomas... I'll go back to my reading and not disrupt the class.
     
  5. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Hellluuuurrrrr... it's called a "bromance." :tongue:

    I've experienced it before, yeah. It's as if there's such a rush behind meeting someone new; you're captivated, maybe not in the jump-your-bones kinda way, but you feel really really good and energized being around this person. Being in his company brings out the best of your personality traits, and in interacting with them, there's a really good camaraderie and fit. It's also a little disarming. Being so struck by this individual and knowing that there's good friendship chemistry present, you start letting down your guard/boundaries down a little more quickly than with most people.

    Mind you, this is a lot of emotional stuff. I think the physical attraction might fit in there somewhere, but I think it's minimal and fleeting. I can acknowledge someone looks good, but you don't really take on a buddy just because of his muscles or dick, right? That's admiration. It can be present but not necessary.

    Bromance or man crush, whoever this person is, he's a good guy and he's special. Whether it's an online friend or a real life one, you hope for these good feelings not to fade too soon and you hope that a friendship develops and grows stronger.
     
  6. Matthew

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    You're hilarious :tongue:
     
  7. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    Its totally true..
    I have very few Friends.. all male.. I dont really have any female friends.. cause.. well guys are more fun to hang out with.. (most times)
    anyway...
    I feel that it is totally possible to have a 'mancrush' or.. as dee put it, a 'bromance' good one there dee.. ;)

    A bromance goes beyond a drinking buddy, or a casual male friend, they are a special guy that you can pour your heart out to, and viceversa..

    they dont have to be good looking, but most of my friends are..
    hmmmm

    anway.. i got off track..
    they dont have to be goodlooking, or have a big dick...
    im a totally straight guy, (except that im always in the gym and want to do hair) ;)
    and I can say I really value the relationships I have with my 'special' male friends.
     
  8. ruffboy

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    deeblackthorne, fantastically worded. i wanted to say something, but now i'm speechless ;-)

    bromance, man crush, all fun, but allowing yourself the freedom to appreciate EVERYONE for what they represent is nothing to be ashamed of.
     
  9. Industrialsize

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    yes...I'm gay but have a str8 mancrush on DJG!..HE so funny
     
  10. Falcon9

    Falcon9 New Member

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    A great question. And the answers will vary according to one's sexuality, not just their sexual orientation but how much one "sexualizes" another person. The question is asked of "straight men" and since I am bisexual my answer may not matter much to BIGdkluver but I think it is important to know that all friendships can have a spectrum of reasons for the attraction, looks (virility as a combination of looks and self esteem too) certainly being one of them. I have often overheard or been in conversations with 100% "straight" male friends almost boasting how they are comfortable with their ability to find another man attractive, that appreciating male beauty is nothing to be ashamed of. So to a degree, a physical (boarding on sexual which is also physical) attraction can't be overlooked as a component of these attractions.
     
  11. dudepiston

    dudepiston New Member

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    I've had these most of my life. I've always assumed it was because I'm bi, and not 'normal' for a straight guy so I'm kinda perplexed here. Of course, my mancrushes are usually sexualized. Not always, though. I'm jealous of guys who have strong friendships with other guys.
     
  12. HotBulge

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    Lowells talk to Cabots, Cabots talk to God
    Is the OP in reference to "Scrubs" where the latina nurse, Carla, tells her husband that he spends too much intimate time with his friend JD (Zach Braphf)?
     
  13. Wrey

    Wrey New Member

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    You rock, Dee! Bromance is my new favorite word.

    I'm going to chime in from the other side of the rainbow line. Bromances happen between str8 and gay men all the time. I've had a few. I think str8 men get a bad rap when it comes to 'the ease with which they skate through life.' Str8 men live in a world filled with rules concerning social discourse and comportment. It can be a lot to live up to!

    I've had many str8 men as friends and being 'str8 acting' myself (i'm gonna' catch shit for that!) there is a level of comfort between us. But, not being str8, str8 men tend to see me as something other than man or woman. BTW, str8 women do the same thing with me.

    Anyway, with me my str8 friends feel free to 'drop the act' so-to-speak. They feel free to disarm and be open in ways that would be difficult with eachother or even with the opposite sex.

    I have always enjoyed this part of being a gay man, of being 'outside of the game.' It gives a unique perspective and has made me prefer having str8 men as friends as opposed to gay men. Believe me, in the world of gay men and women we have our own rules and expectations to live up to that are equaly complicated and often arbitrary.

    So, having a very close str8 guy friend is in its own way also a bromance for me. I get to put aside the rules of my world for a bit and simply enjoy an enjoyable person.

    Did any of that make sense?:rolleyes:
     
  14. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Oh yeah. I really like how you get this sense of otherness from the jive between your sexual orientation and how you conduct yourself around your in-touch friends. I was speaking about this with DJG earlier, and we were guffawing a bit at as much guys are changing socially, we still do all this macho posturing around each other. And I think you provide something unique being straight-acting; that you also don't do the typical exaggerated effeminate posturing that's stereotypical of gay men. Couple a willingness to let your guard down and feeling comfortable hanging out, you've got a good match.

    Also...
    "bromance" (c) DJG, 2007
    though I like "man crush" just fine.
     
  15. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    my friends and i in college would joke around about mancrushes...i dont believe any of us used it in a sexual way, it would usually be more of a way to describe a guy that we would want to be...if that makes sense...

    like right now, i have a mancrush on Dave Grohl...its nothing sexual, i have no idea if he's hung or anything like that...i just think he's one of the coolest dudes on the planet, i love his music, i love his personality, and i'd love to be him
     
  16. Wrey

    Wrey New Member

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    Thanks Dee, glad to see someone else 'gets it.'

    And while we're talking.... to the gay men reading this thread...

    When you see a gay friend chillin' with a str8 guy, leave it alone! This is one of the things that makes it hard for me to have gay friends and mix in gay circles... There is that gay man who just cannot see str8 guys in the company of gays and not think, "Whatever! He is such a closet queen!"

    As soon as the poor str8 guy gets a whif of that, the friendship usualy disolves. I don't blame the poor str8 guy: pressure from his str8 friends for having a gay friend, pressure from the gay friend's friends to drop his skivies and show the goods! It's bull-shit!

    Not every str8 guy is a gay guy waiting to happen.

    <<Wrey quietly puts on his armour and awaits the attack.>>
     
  17. BIGdkluver

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    In response to HotBulge's question....

    I'm the OP (Original poster??), and the sitcom to which I was referring was "The War at Home," kind of a modern-day rip-off of "Married with Children" from several years ago.

    Thanks for having the interest to ask, HotBulge--and thanks to all the other people who wrote such great responses. I appreciate your in-put. :smile:
     
  18. swordfishME

    swordfishME Member

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    Here is my (bisexual) take on things:

    I think it is possible for all men to have bromances (love the word, btw). It can be someone we admire or someone that we appreciate for their physical attributes. I have certainly have had a lot of these in my life, it is different in that I have never had a need to jump their bones- just wanted them to hang around me and like me.
     
  19. prepstudinsc

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    This is one of the things that the Puritanical USA can't fathom. There's nothing wrong with men showing emotion to other men. We are taught not to get close to anyone, we're taught to hold in our emotions. Puh-leeze.

    In the rest of the world, men kiss each other on the cheek, they spend time together, and it's ok to be close friends with another man. In the USA the only way we can show close friendship is by meeting up at a bar and popping back some brews.

    A man-crush or bromance is a natural thing and should be cherished by both parties.
     
  20. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    You know, I'm tempted to think that mancrushes are more physically-oriented in nature and that bromances are more emotional. The two have come up in this thread. Guys can admire or appreciate other guys for their physical attributes, and that usually get expressed in different ways. DJG and I have used the word bromance to talk about friendships and emotional relationships with men. You think this idea holds water?
     
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