Ever had a "Man Crush?"

Corius

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This is my kind of thread. I'm one of the older men who has experienced and appreciates the joys of both "gay" and ''straight" relationships. I've had just five (the total of my sex partners) and every one was or is a long-term bonding in which the sex was and is great because it was a physical confirmation of a bond of friendship/love that had already been formed. Each repeat only got better.

Though I am very happily married and a faithful husband and lover, I admit that I still get "turned on" by some men and some women. I smile to myself when I hit the bathroom shortly afterward as the head of my penis is bathed in delightful natural lubrication which my generous foreskin has nicely contained. Would the man (sometimes young, often not so young) be pleased to know what his mere presence triggered? I think he might as I certainly would.
 

elf

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I have a newish straight friend (a new friend, he's always been straight) who seems to have a man crush on me. He calls me all the time, wants to hang out, gives me books he thinks I might like etc. He's totally relaxed around gay guys and has no trouble meeting and dating girls.

Since he's good looking and fun to be with, I haven't discouraged the man crush aspect but I have to admit it's a little confusing at times having a cute straight boy look at you with puppy dog eyes. My gay friends tease me mercilessly about it and keep asking when I'm going to get him drunk and jump his bones. I am learning a lot about self-control and cold showers.
 

dannymawg

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Bromance = other guy has a clue you like him "that way"

Mancrush = other guy doesn't have a clue. Or is aloof... or preoccupied... or married...


Currently channeling a mancrush into a new story for the fiction section...
 

dannymawg

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Uh... as soon as the Puerto Rican Spanish translation is done. I gave the guy the first of five chapters a couple days ago. Short ones.

But it's a long one [ba dump- PAH!]
 

Nitrofiend

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I eventually realized that my numerous "man crushes" (MC's from now on) were actually crushes, as I was interested in them. And they can deny it all they want, but they were interested too :cool:.

That said, seeing that I believe everyone has at least a small subconscious homosexual component to them, it's difficult for me to pass off any attraction as completely nonsexual. You are attracted to people that you desire -- be it envying them for attributes that you lack, or wanting them all to yourself. Therefore, worship of a celebrity or famous rockstar is a MC because you desire what they have, and want it for yourself. Since MC's tend to originate out of humility in the presence of others percieved as greater than one's self, this would make sense.
 

Dave NoCal

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As a gay man, I can think of one guy in particular that I hung out with a lot for about a year. He always thought that there was a sexual component, and was pretty cool about it, but there really wasn't. He was so great to spend time with and we connected at a musical, artistic, political. and emotional level. He moved across the county and we eventually lost touch. This was a long time ago.
 

naughty

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Guys,


I love it. This is great. What you described is basically the highest level of friendship. We all put up with so many people in our lives that drain us yet we still call them friends. A person who helps us to become the best we can be is not always our life partner or romance in the techincal sense. I think this kind of intensity often threatens or scares significant others and that is a shame. A perfect example of this kind of friendship is found in the bible between David and Jonathan nothing sexual but a friendship that is closer than a brother. I think I have yet to find this in another woman.
 

dudepiston

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I would be completely, 100% OK with a bromance. I wouldn't need the sexual, in fact it would be limiting to me at this time & place in my life. To find a close relationship with another male, closer than brothers, without the sexual consonance (meaning, there might be some sexual pull there but it's largely either ignored or treated as natural but not followable) - this is a goal of my life right now. One that I have no idea how to begin attaining.
 

Matthew

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I have had a few "special friendships" over the course of my life with straight guys. None sexual, but a kind of emotional connection that made the relationship seem unique and intimate - like we could and wanted to tell each other anything, like we were comrades or blood brothers. At certain points it can almost feel like being in love, even when we actually had other partners. Even though I'm a long way away now, there are a couple of those guys who I still feel a deep bond with to this day, and I know they feel the same. It's one of the best and coolest feelings in the world IMO. I have never had the same kind of bond with another gay guy. No idea why - maybe you can tell me.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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What many of you have described is a true friendship. We all need super close friends. Also, we need close friends of our own gender.
I have been fortunate enough in life to have some close friends but only 1 true male friend. I was a true friend to a couple of guys but they weren't to me. It seems to be really rare these days. You not only have to find someone who is compatible but put in the major time and love required. So many people are not willing to put forth the effort. It's easier to sit in front of the tv than to live life. Some peeps are just too selfish and/or lazy to do it.
 

naughty

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Matthew,

Perhaps the sexual tension is what causes a bit of a problem between yourself and other gay men...









I have had a few "special friendships" over the course of my life with straight guys. None sexual, but a kind of emotional connection that made the relationship seem unique and intimate - like we could and wanted to tell each other anything, like we were comrades or blood brothers. At certain points it can almost feel like being in love, even when we actually had other partners. Even though I'm a long way away now, there are a couple of those guys who I still feel a deep bond with to this day, and I know they feel the same. It's one of the best and coolest feelings in the world IMO. I have never had the same kind of bond with another gay guy. No idea why - maybe you can tell me.
 

titan1968

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Yes DEE, that does make a lot of sense.

This subject has not been widely researched and deserves more study. If you're up to the challenge, you're only a proposal and a research grant away from a scientific study. :biggrin1:


You know, I'm tempted to think that mancrushes are more physically-oriented in nature and that bromances are more emotional. The two have come up in this thread. Guys can admire or appreciate other guys for their physical attributes, and that usually get expressed in different ways. DJG and I have used the word bromance to talk about friendships and emotional relationships with men. You think this idea holds water?
 

B_dxjnorto

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You know, I'm tempted to think that mancrushes are more physically-oriented in nature and that bromances are more emotional.
I must have a mancrush on Dee's avatar. When I first joined LPSG I was a bit captivated by his goatee and general good looks. Still am. Now I know he's a bright guy too.
 

B_Guy Love

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I have man crushes all the time. I have a man crush on a lot of guys on this forum. Guy love, that's all it is....

YouTube - scrubs - guy love

YouTube - "Guy Love" - House/Wilson

I was watching a TV sitcom recently, and the wife accused her husband of having a "man crush" on one of his male friends.

I guess this question is mainly for all you "str8" dudes out there.
Have you ever had a man crush on one of your male friends or known a guy who has had one?

I suppose the term means something like this:
A mostly (or all) "str8" guy feels an almost subconscious "attraction" to another male friend who is good looking, well built, and perhaps well endowed. He likes hanging around this guy, and also wants this guy to be around him. He "likes" the guy a lot and wants the guy to like him in return.

So, any str8 guy out there ever had feelings like that toward another dude? Just wondering. I'd like to hear about it. Thanks! :smile:
 

D_Martin van Burden

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I guess the two terms can't be mutually exclusive, though.

A point was brought up in the chat room today about imagining if it's possible for two bromancees to be so comfortable with each other that, if opportunities arose, that they could jack off. In fact, I think it would be easier to do something like that just because the comfort zone is generally better expanded between these two men. If anything further, anecdotally, a man might prefer not to "waste" the boner and if his buddy is riled up too, they could fire away.

(I'm trying not to make it sound as fantastical as two guys jerking off together in an amateur porn type sense. I want to emphasize the impact of expanded comfort zones.)

It might be a harder case to rid the excluisivity the other way around. Bromancees might be comfortable enough to pursue physical interaction, but it's a bit harder to plead the corresponding relationship (e.g. emotional impact for those in a man crush). See below.

Two dudes mancrushing on each other might be perpetually caught in a admiration-hesistance realm of interaction. The idea of jacking off with his friend might be very captivating and promising indeed, and he might even recognize some attraction he has toward his friend. However, for fear of being crushed, rejection, spurned, or made vulnerable by his admiration for his friend, he keeps very quiet as to not disturb the blissful-enough dynamic as is. Unlike the bromancees, the mancrushers haven't developed enough interpersonal intimacy. They certainly might demonstrate some of it (even unknowingly), but the intimacy there is always externally directed to some sort of activity -- drinking together, playing sports together. Beyond admiration and superficial knowledge, say, of one's tolerance for alcohol or athleticism, the mancrushers hardly know much about each other beyond surface.

Emotional contact does happen, but it isn't to the same degree of commitment as evidenced by bromancees. To be sure, bromancees are probably well aware and self-aware of their feelings and thoughts while participating in a broad range of interactive behavior. They know their care and esteem and love for the other person; they feel comfortable, enjoy the time and the comfort. When traversing into physical or sexual interaction, they are thoughtful enough to stay as self-aware regardless of the level of contact.

(This is to further specify that bromancees can exhibit a wide range of physical behavior so long as they both feel it's consensual and safe. There is no certain way to determine if the two would jack off or do more than that, but it would be done in a cognizant manner.)

Whew. Enough intellectualism for now.