Ever Had VD?
- Thread starter D_Peverell Piledriver
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AlteredEgo
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Hell no! When I was single I feared that like it was the end of the world. I thought everyone did. Then (back when he was my boyfriend) I met some men at my husband's work who had no fear venereal disease at all. He said they made fun of him for refusing to lie with whores when they went out of town, or out of the country. He said they actually teased him about being concerned about social diseases, and the possibility of contracting one, or worse still, giving one to me. How can people function like that?
Bbucko
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I got Gonorrhea when I was 20 (in 1980) and some sort of UTI about four years ago. Both were cleared with antibiotics. I was infected with HIV in 1984, and that, obviously, can be (somewhat) controlled but obviously not cured.
Edited to add: STIs (sexually transmitted infections) are not "given": they are the result of engaging in unprotected sex. If there's any blame to be had (barring rape), it's shared equally between both parties. Only you have the responsibility to maintain your sexual health, no one else. And yeah: people lie, that doesn't mean you have to believe them.
Edited to add: STIs (sexually transmitted infections) are not "given": they are the result of engaging in unprotected sex. If there's any blame to be had (barring rape), it's shared equally between both parties. Only you have the responsibility to maintain your sexual health, no one else. And yeah: people lie, that doesn't mean you have to believe them.
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helgaleena
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My father once told me that crabs can jump 13 feet at a time. A little remark when my brother who was sharing an apt with my sister had to disinfect the entire place, for obvious reasons.
I'm on the fence with this. I like sex. I had an FB whom I got rid of a few months ago. I am dating and having sex with a guy whom I like a lot but don't feel ready to have the exclusivity talk.
I'm a big girl and when the relationship doesn't work out, I am more upset about the amount of time I spent with a guy and possibly lost opportunity than I am that I had had sex within a relationship "that went nowhere."
But I know I should think about my health and safety. Let's think about this. When two people agree to exlusivity and that is supposed to open the door to sex between them -- assumption being that neither are having sex elsewhere --do they require some letter for the doctor showing a recent STI testing that clears them? How many people ask for that? How often can it be that someone is carrying around an STI from the encounter 6 months ago? Thereby rending exclusivity as useless as a protection against STIs?
Even with HIV testing, you would have to go through 2 rounds of testing over a 12 month period to ensure that the other person is HIV negative.
OR, someone please set me straight.
I'm on the fence with this. I like sex. I had an FB whom I got rid of a few months ago. I am dating and having sex with a guy whom I like a lot but don't feel ready to have the exclusivity talk.
I'm a big girl and when the relationship doesn't work out, I am more upset about the amount of time I spent with a guy and possibly lost opportunity than I am that I had had sex within a relationship "that went nowhere."
But I know I should think about my health and safety. Let's think about this. When two people agree to exlusivity and that is supposed to open the door to sex between them -- assumption being that neither are having sex elsewhere --do they require some letter for the doctor showing a recent STI testing that clears them? How many people ask for that? How often can it be that someone is carrying around an STI from the encounter 6 months ago? Thereby rending exclusivity as useless as a protection against STIs?
Even with HIV testing, you would have to go through 2 rounds of testing over a 12 month period to ensure that the other person is HIV negative.
OR, someone please set me straight.
JetID
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If you don't want to get a case of the clap that gets so bad, it turns into a full standing ovation, both get tested by the same doc. It's okay to ask 
HIV and hepatitis and syphilis... whatever the test can do. It's a good thing for both of you to do anyway. Maybe don't have FBs either [shrugs]. For me, anyway it would be totally unsatisfying to have a "relationship" with someone who is not really in a relationship, with you.
I'm not criticizing and obviously you can totally do what you want But if safety is the concern, have "the talk" about exclusivity and get tested before doing otherwise unsafe things, realizing you are rolling the dice, for that first 6 months.
HIV and hepatitis and syphilis... whatever the test can do. It's a good thing for both of you to do anyway. Maybe don't have FBs either [shrugs]. For me, anyway it would be totally unsatisfying to have a "relationship" with someone who is not really in a relationship, with you.
I'm not criticizing and obviously you can totally do what you want
But if safety is the concern, have "the talk" about exclusivity and get tested before doing otherwise unsafe things, realizing you are rolling the dice, for that first 6 months.
JetID
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nudeyorker
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I did when I was an undergrad at UCLA; that's when I found out I'm allergic to Penicillin. I've been careful ever since.
When TheBF and I started dating, I thought he had given me some sort of VD or infection or something was wrong, because after our first weekend together, my vagina was unhappy, and the same thing happened two weeks later when he came to stay at my apartment with me. Since it only happened the day after I had sex with TheBF I was sure it had something to do with having sex with him.
I insisted that we go get tested the second day that he was staying with me and he agreed. We went to a clinic and got a real bitch of a doctor who claimed that we were there to trick her into giving us drugs (WTF? Huh? By getting tested for STDs?) but TheBF talked to her and brought her to her senses and we both got tested. That horrible woman put a q-tip down TheBF's urethra as part of his test. He said she wasn't too gentle about it either. I think she was still worked up and pissed off. What a horrible woman!
It's funny now. We didn't have anything. I just wasn't used to what having sex with him would do to me. I wasn't used to what I'd feel like the next day when I was no longer aroused and full of happy endorphins.
I insisted that we go get tested the second day that he was staying with me and he agreed. We went to a clinic and got a real bitch of a doctor who claimed that we were there to trick her into giving us drugs (WTF? Huh? By getting tested for STDs?) but TheBF talked to her and brought her to her senses and we both got tested. That horrible woman put a q-tip down TheBF's urethra as part of his test. He said she wasn't too gentle about it either. I think she was still worked up and pissed off. What a horrible woman!
It's funny now. We didn't have anything. I just wasn't used to what having sex with him would do to me. I wasn't used to what I'd feel like the next day when I was no longer aroused and full of happy endorphins.
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AlteredEgo
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I think I might be immune to mono. I have been exposed to it over, and over, and over. I was exposed to it just last month.
I was thinking about this, and remembered a time when I got vaginosis. The doctor said that the cause was a pH imbalance, but I know the imbalance came from a sex act. The partner in question also walked away with urethritis for the same reason. I guess we rubbed each other the wrong way. I was never the same taste or scent after that incident. I guess that counts as a STI. That was my only partner with whom I had unprotected sex (not counting when I lost my virginity). We were monogamous for six years, but at that point, we'd both moved on, and it was just a terrible mistake on many levels. Petite, the doctor I saw because of the itching was such a bastard! He tried very, very , very hard to make me feel low because I had four partners in a six month period. As if it's my fault he's too small and ugly (inside and out) to get as many partners as he truly wants.
closetbi, I agree with you 100%. So does my husband. Those co-workers have never been welcome in our home as a result.
I was thinking about this, and remembered a time when I got vaginosis. The doctor said that the cause was a pH imbalance, but I know the imbalance came from a sex act. The partner in question also walked away with urethritis for the same reason. I guess we rubbed each other the wrong way. I was never the same taste or scent after that incident. I guess that counts as a STI. That was my only partner with whom I had unprotected sex (not counting when I lost my virginity). We were monogamous for six years, but at that point, we'd both moved on, and it was just a terrible mistake on many levels. Petite, the doctor I saw because of the itching was such a bastard! He tried very, very , very hard to make me feel low because I had four partners in a six month period. As if it's my fault he's too small and ugly (inside and out) to get as many partners as he truly wants.
closetbi, I agree with you 100%. So does my husband. Those co-workers have never been welcome in our home as a result.
What a bastard!
I know that some people go to those kinds of clinics seeking drugs, but don't people usually claim to be suffering from pain when they do that? They don't come in asking to be tested for STDs, right? Because no doctor gives prescriptions for the fun drugs for STDs, do they?
She yelled at us so that everyone heard and it was so humiliating and she threatened to call the police on us because she said that the fact that we came in so close to closing time was suspicious, etc, when it was over the weekend and I had called them to make sure that they would be open and we drove over 30 minutes to get there and I told them we were coming! The staff were all laughing the entire time that we were there, but I couldn't tell if they were laughing at us or at how crazy she was acting. After TheBF pulled out his credit card and made it clear that we would pay and we weren't there to con anyone and we just wanted to find out what was going on, when I explained the reason why we were there, how I only had my "symptoms" (it sounds so stupid now) right after having sex with TheBF and that there was 2 weeks between the last two times we had sex, she assumed that he must be a truck driver.
I couldn't believe a doctor treated us like that, and TheBF just shone the way that he handled it, how cool he acted and how he was able to reason with her and calm her down enough that he de-escalated that situation. I was really impressed by him (just another one of the multitude of things he impressed me with when we started dating). It just now occurs to me that apart from the fact that she obviously saw a lot of non-paying, drug seeking, low income people at that clinic, she must have also been judging us for getting tested for STDs. We were behaving in a very responsible way by getting tested immediately, and she was a total bitch to us.
Sorry about the rant! I guess I'm still mad!
Yeah, I had contracted a double-dose of gonorrhea and chlamydia from having unprotected sex with a partner. It was probably the worst agony I have had to face in a long time -- not just the discomfort, but the shame and being angry at myself for being so reckless. I'm getting an HIV test before I fly home for the holidays to stay on the safe side.
