Ever not been taken as serious relationship material because the sex was too "porno"?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by JR7, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    I guess this might fall into the category of doing too much too soon, but I was wondering if any of you lost out on a potential long term relationship because sex came too soon or was too quickly got on the 'kinky' or 'porno' side?

    Like most of you, I'd imagine, when I was single I tended to go fairly far on the first date if the opportunity was there. I did not discriminate. I was this way with females I wanted to be in a long term relationship with as well as ones I didn't necessarily see myself dating exclusively. I did not necessarily have intercourse on the first date, but I was always interested in cunnilingus, so typically all of my first dates (where there was a mutual attraction) resulted in oral sex or 69-ing.

    I remember one woman who I really wanted to date exclusively, Julia. She was gorgeous and had a beautiful pink pussy covered in a thick triangle of black hair. Really pretty face too! We went out on a first date, she came back to my apartment and we 69-ed all night. And by that, let me just say we did it 3 times before the sun came up. I came hard the first tie, harder the second, and even the third time her lips and tongue coaxed out a smaller yet healthy load.

    When I called to set up a second date, surprise surprise - she said she couldn't get into a relationship with a guy she blew three times in one night. "So why did you do it," I inquired. She didn't really know, but she said that sometime between the 2nd and 3rd 69 session she just figured this would just be for fun and not a relationship. Lesson learned - only two 69's in one evening from then on.
     
  2. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    It is often a women worry that doing too much too soon could put them as "sluts"... But, and I m speaking for me only, I never thought a girl was a slut if she would do sex like a porn star at first date... the opposite maybe! When it comes to sex everything is allowed and the more she does the better I reckon her for being so generous. Otherwise I mark that girl as "cold" , short of generosity and pretty close hearted that is no good... just my opinion but had to throw it in
     
  3. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    no because that is important in a serious relationship
     
  4. Solvejg

    Solvejg New Member

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    Yes. I was told I was too full on. The strange thing was that I was being as vanilla as I could be.
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

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    Generosity? Like giving something without getting anything back? Does that mean you think women don't have sex because they enjoy but because they want to be 'generous'?

    JR7 - I have a guess as to why Julia didn't want to date you - it is just a guess, of course, because you have provided so little detail and even with more detail I couldn't know the mind of another person. You said: "I remember one woman who I really wanted to date exclusively, Julia. She was gorgeous and had a beautiful pink pussy covered in a thick triangle of black hair. Really pretty face too!" - It sounds to me like you wanted to date her because of her physical attributes - that's all you comment on, not that she was a lot of fun to hang out with, not the she was smart or funny or interesting or anything at all about her personality - just that she was gorgeous. Maybe she picked up on that and it didn't appeal to her. I'm totally open to being told I'm wrong about that - maybe you adored her mind too - but just from what you have chosen to note here that is my guess.

    I've never had a guy explain to me that he didn't want to date me because the physical side of things happen too hot or too fast - it may have happened and I just wasn't aware of it. Certainly if a guy didn't see me as girlfriend material because I fucked on the first date then that'd be a-ok with me - I would not want to date that kind of a guy. After all, he fucked on the first date too - he either sees that as an equal thing for me and him to do / want to do or he can fuck off and find someone else to stick his cock in.

    I think I may have intimidated guys with my sexual confidence before, too. But again that's fine - if he enjoys being intimidated then what the hey, we can keep doing it. If he doesn't then we're not compatible. Why would I want to be with someone who wants and needs different things and can't or won't compromise?
     
  6. closetfreak

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    this relationship didn't last? shocking.
     
  7. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Manlybannisters, your post is very thoughtful and well-written. There may be something to what you said about how I really liked her physical attributes. Yes, she did have a great personality, but you're right, I left that out of my post so maybe you're on to something. But as I recall the conversation was very good between us on this date and I didn't just gush over her looks.

    I also agree that I have never judged a female for being too willing on a first date. Like the OP stated, I've never thought them to be "slutty." In fact, "cold" or prude girls turned me off. I'd turn down the idea of going out with a prude woman a second time sooner than I would a woman who had full out intercourse with me on the first date.

    It does take two to tango as Manlybannisters said. She may have swallowed my load three times, but I ate her out for at least 2 hours cumulatively. I licked up and swallowed probably as much of her cum as she did mine. But I certainly wasn't embarrassed to go out with her again.
     
  8. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    Sex is an expression of overall "generosity", to me... That's why I see the fact a girl don't want to do it as a clue of her "coldness" so to say... Dunno if the message I want to put out would come straight and clear to your ears (or , better, eyes) though.. there's this fucking language barrier that keeps me from expressing my thoughts as clearly as I d like
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    MW - that's why I was asking. I wasn't assuming, just wanted to be clear. :smile:
     
  10. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    all right then ;)
     
  11. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    Also those men who judge first timer women are nothing less but insecure and probably small dicked besides stupid ones.. they kinda shoot themselves in their feet by judging girls that way.. can't see why a regular straight man with a open and modern mind should judge a girl who is (luckily!) going to give her pussy away on the first date
     
  12. dcsurvivor92

    dcsurvivor92 Member

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    My ex-wife complained the sex turned "porno" and it turned her off. You think after 18 years of marriage, you might wanna change it up a bit? She admitted that sex wasn't all that important to her, she'd rather sleep. I kicked the prude to the curb. Compatibility in the bedroom is very important.
     
  13. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    you did it right! There are many other girls out there willing to be fucked by an horny men.. there's no room for prudes! :D
     
  14. backwoodsstud

    backwoodsstud Member

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    No im into a slow paced meaningful relationship...good ole fashioned lovemaking.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

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    Sex not being important and being a prude are not the same thing.

    Not saying that people who aren't compatible should stay together - just that sex not being important to a person does not make that person a prude.
     
  16. dolfette

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    a man who describes his amour's cunt first and mentions her face merely in passing is too porno.
     
    anoushka likes this.
  17. matt19

    matt19 Member

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    maybe she decided early on that you were not relationship material and that she would "go for it" regardless of what she thought of you. Maybe she doesn't descriminate either. She needed a release, you provided. Some women are wired just like a guy. They can be pigs too.
     
  18. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Matt, you're probably right. I was just recounting what she said. Whether or not that was the truth is for me to ponder. But I have thought that Julia and other females who decided to go all the way (or very far) on a first date may have made up their mind before going through with the act(s). I think that makes a lot of sense. I know that was the case with some of the BBW's I've been with. I'm 5'9, 135 lbs. now. Ten years ago, I was the same height but 10 lbs. lighter. There were definitely some BBW's that were attracted to me enough to want to experience sex (or 69-ing) with me, but intimidated by the prospect of going out with me because they thought I was too thin for them. I recall one saying she felt (and would feel) like the 'zero' in a 'number ten' walking down the street (with me, of course, being the one digit.) That conjured up old images of Sesame Street in my head.

    Though I tried to convince her otherwise, ultimately, I had to just say how much I enjoyed getting to know her on the date and how grateful I was to have gotten to do what we did because it was an awesome sexual experience. She agreed and even used a term you used, Matt - that is was a tremendous release for her. Apparently she had gone out with some heavier men who could not satisfy her sexually (or turned out to be platonic with her). So, yes, this woman determined early on that if I was game, she would go as far as she could with me on the first (and only) date. She initiated intercourse by sitting on my condomless dick as I recall! And as I think back, there was a whole level of premeditation to it because not only did she initiate, she said things like, "Ohhhhh, I knew you'd fill me up," when she first plunged down on my dick. As this wasn't the first time I found a woman to be one-and-done with me, I kind of read the writing on the wall and thought, 'this is going to be fun, but I wonder how intent she is on being in a relationship at the pace and intensity this sex is going.'
     
  19. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    bump
     
  20. ManlyBanisters

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    JR7, I don't understand why you think you can generalise this past individual experience. Each person you've slept is a completely different entity with her own complex motivations for her actions. There is no single answer involving a female group psychology that explains why this non-group fucked you but didn't want to date you. I say 'non-group' because they have nothing in common with each other apart from the fact they are female and got naked with you.

    In fact - of the two things they do have in common the one more likely to be pertinent to their behaviour is not their sex but you. If a significant number of women act this way with you isn't it worth considering, rather than being some psychological subset of women who behave that way for reasons within themselves (and are therefore like that with all/most men they encounter), that there is something in your behaviour with women that makes them of the opinion that you are worth fucking but not someone they'd want to date.
     
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