Ever wonder if what you want exists?

[bi_todd]

I do not need to be told what to accept.

I'm not telling you or anyone else what to accept. I was just offering an example of an alternate marriage arrangement. So chill out.

Having already consented to a non-monogamous marriage and tiring of that, I'm never doing that again either.

Sounds like you've already tried and rejected non-monogamy. I'm sorry for your pain and disappointment.

I'm what is known as a grown-up.

Grown-ups make their own choices and allows others to do the same.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm not telling you or anyone else what to accept. I was just offering an example of an alternate marriage arrangement. So chill out.

Sounds like you've already tried and rejected non-monogamy. I'm sorry for your pain and disappointment.

Grown-ups make their own choices and allows others to do the same.

I posted what I wanted. In direct response, you posted an alternative to what I wanted. How is that supposed to read as anything other than you suggesting I should want something different from what I want? I do not need examples of how other people who may or may not want the same life I do get around the kind of obstacles I have faced. I am allowed and justified in deciding against compromise, and suggestiins to the contrary feel like patronization. At no point did I propose anything that suggested that what I want is right for anyone other than me. I stated that I'm not like the people you referenced, which is an accurate assesment. I have given clear reasons for the conclusions I have drawn about how to conduct my own affairs without passing judgement on how others do the same. So, yes. I agree that mature adults make their own choices and allow others to do the same. I would admonish you to be mindful of that while YOU are posting.

 

[bi_todd]

I posted what I wanted. In direct response, you posted an alternative to what I wanted. How is that supposed to read as anything other than you suggesting I should want something different from what I want? I do not need examples of how other people who may or may not want the same life I do get around the kind of obstacles I have faced. I am allowed and justified in deciding against compromise, and suggestiins to the contrary feel like patronization. At no point did I propose anything that suggested that what I want is right for anyone other than me. I stated that I'm not like the people you referenced, which is an accurate assesment. I have given clear reasons for the conclusions I have drawn about how to conduct my own affairs without passing judgement on how others do the same. So, yes. I agree that mature adults make their own choices and allow others to do the same. I would admonish you to be mindful of that while YOU are posting.

With such an in-your-face attitude, good luck with finding that perfect guy and that harmonious relationship you seek.

 

[Mike hung]

I'm pretty damn happy with my lot as far as relationships goes, I'm happily married to a beautiful sexy younger lady who shares interests and is capable of satisfying my needs, we both drink, smoke, party and are sexually adventurous. Never a dull moment in our house and we make each other smile and laugh every single day!

 

[bravesoldier]

Mine exists but I can't have him. He's 20 minutes away, talented, hard working, loved by everyone, damn good looking, perfectly hung, mannered, cultured and everything any man or woman could want. We saw each other for a year then the friendship became inconvenient for him. I gave him anything and everything he could want but the iron curtain fell anyway. He is friendly when I contact him for any reason but absolutely nothing otherwise.

Never can get him out of my mind.

 

[AlteredEgo]

With such an in-your-face attitude, good luck with finding that perfect guy and that harmonious relationship you seek.

Fuck off. Your unwanted, unsolicited meddlesome, (and frankly) shitty advice warrants correction. Or were you unaware that unsolicited advice about personal matters is considered very rude? You're ill-mannered and condescending, and when called on that you think you should be the one to advise someone on her attitude? You dismissive, self-righteous, tone-deaf, tone-policing little pissant hypocrite. Fuck right off, directly, without passing go.

There's your fucking in your face attitude. You wanted it? You got it you little bitch.

 

[1019487]

He's not wrong though. The toxic stereotype that bi men and woman are somehow predisposed towards cheating and non consensual polyamoury is pervasive at patently false. If you rule out bi people altogether for no reason other than your belief in those stereotypes, they're certainly worth examining. It's your life, and your decision to make, but it's still a problematic one.

 

[1019487]

women*

 

[bi_todd]

Fuck off. Your unwanted, unsolicited meddlesome, (and frankly) shitty advice warrants correction. Or were you unaware that unsolicited advice about personal matters is considered very rude? You're ill-mannered and condescending, and when called on that you think you should be the one to advise someone on her attitude? You dismissive, self-righteous, tone-deaf, tone-policing little pissant hypocrite. Fuck right off, directly, without passing go.

And then she wonders why she's single and can't find that perfect guy.

 

[AlteredEgo]

He's not wrong though. The toxic stereotype that bi men and woman are somehow predisposed towards cheating and non consensual polyamoury is pervasive at patently false. If you rule out bi people altogether for no reason other than your belief in those stereotypes, they're certainly worth examining. It's your life, and your decision to make, but it's still a problematic one.

Are you talking to me? If you are, your presumptions are offensive and your doubling-down on the unsolicited advice disgusts me, as I have been more than abundantly clear that I neither require nor desire advice about what I want. I want it. End of story. You don't get a vote. Move along.

My desire is problematic? No. It really is not. You have zero idea what it is like or how to be me. Your assumption to the contrary is really fucking problematic. You think I'm worried about cheating? I'm not. My gay husband never cheated on me once. He also never engaged in consentual non-monogamy when he had the chance. After over a decade of observation and intimate knowledge of this man, his family, and how he thinks, copes, lives I was able to draw the conclusion that he is not now, and never has been, attracted to any women who could not be mistaken for a man or didn't have a penis, and even then, only to convince himself that there do exist women he wants to fuck. But let me be clear. He doesn't ever actually want to fuck women. He is only attracted to men. This has always been true, it took me way too long to figure it out. I'm 37. I do not have time left for dicking around with the possibility that I choose another great guy who loves me, but just isn't interested in fucking me. I do not know how long it takes to get over a decade with a man who is faking attraction, and the answer might be never. I am presently unable to feel security with a man who is not sure he is heterosexual without same-sex curiosity. While I believe that most people are absolutely certain and honest about their orientations, I'm unwilling to risk picking more obfuscated confusion. While you don't warrant an explanation of my true concerns, while you are both utterly unworthy of this much candor in a thread that merely poses the question: 'What do you want?' there it is.

And then she wonders why she's single and can't find that perfect guy.

How many more words can you find to post the same sentiment over and over? And how small is your life and essence that you find the need to say the same thing repeatedly. I'm single, but I'm not alone. I've never been lonely or without love. Not so for you, eh?

And you can both kiss my ass.

 

[bi_todd]

And you can both kiss my ass.

Oh look - I just found your perfect guy in a Craigslist ad.

"Me: Handsome, successful, loving, patient, thoughtful, straight man who likes long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, and cuddlng in front of the fireplace.

Seeking: Angry bitter turbo-bitch who has been burned in previous relationships and now wants to take out her disappointment and frustration on me and make my life a living hell."

 

[852838]

Just went back to this thread after the latest dating adventure end over text earlier this morning. Again, we just went out a few times and I'm not sure he wasn't seeing anyone else (I never asked since we never had the talk about being exclusive) but he definitely had my interest and claims to want the same things as I. I appreciate everyone who has contributed, read this thread to just let me vent. I'm not alone on the journey but am more convinced guys just want sex with no strings and little interest in something more.

 

[pinokio]

I often think recently that I need somebody that does not exist perhaps... but it may be the fault of my own not knowing what I want - when sh** can get real, I walk away too often? Some people just have difficulties with finding their match because they have too much to do with themselves

 

[deleted15807]

Dating should be fun, and most of the time it feels like a job interview with drinks and one party wanting to just get off afterwards. Just thinking out loud on this fall morning. Hoping for serious feedback if you are so inclined.

That's because it is a job interview You are interviewing for the position of keeping your date happy...for life. And as such the selection process is pretty rigorous. I'd never call it "fun".

 

[aqua-illusion]

There was one for me...but I don't know what happened. Maybe it was fake...maybe it was genuine, but he professed that he loved me for me, no need to change.

I don't think there is anyone out there for me. I don't have a shopping list I stick to. I am open to all possibilities. I HAVE learned to be by myself...possibly forever and I am okay with that. Some days I feel lonely but others I am fine.

I think I know my problems lol. I am slowly working on it

 

[DenverCumAddict]

In all honesty No....I been looking for what i want since I was 20. I am devoted, grounded, stable, level headed, and make a great husband (yeah I am gay). I only fund very few individuals who barely come close to what I look for, however they are always missing qualities.
In the end I keep getting hurt....I see a pattern. The guys I like, use me and never want to commit because I love them freely with no strings attached. I am supportive and nurturing, thus they take advantage. I thought being my best would be enough, but sadly you are truly never good enough. People want the full deluxe celebrity package now;

1) You have to be wealthy (Own you home, new car, being able to travel, new wardrobe)
2) Look Young (HWP, Smooth, Tan, Muscular)
3) Be Well Endowed or at least above average
4) Use Drugs (420 or PNP) or Drink
5) You have to Pay for Sex (Everyone is looking for "Generous")
6) Use PREP, be okay with HIV Possible.....(HIV is not like diabetes!)

This may be because I live in Los Angeles. Sadly the maxim proves to true "Nice Guys Finish Last" and "Only Natural Hot People end Up With Each Other". I have my type of guy, but seems there are not even any regular guys. Sadly you either blame yourself and go on a downward spiral of self-esteem issues, blame everyone else, or become apathetic to the whole situation and just give up.

I'm sorry. I understand i tried doing everything right. But i finally learned, I'd never be enough, that is until they could be better than me and tell if I hadn't done something it would have worked. So

 

[852838]

Well I was the original author of this thread over a year ago and I'm still looking. I hope the new year brings about some new friends, dating prospects and such. I have a great, great group of friends that's small but loyal, yet I've seen them all pair off over the past couple of years. Most are straight, a few are gay. I went to 6 weddings last year and am participating in one this summer.

With my recent salary increase I will move into my own place at the beginning of February so I'm hopeful it changes my mojo a bit.

 

[DenverCumAddict]

I'm not telling you or anyone else what to accept. I was just offering an example of an alternate marriage arrangement. So chill out.

Sounds like you've already tried and rejected non-monogamy. I'm sorry for your pain and disappointment.

Grown-ups make their own choices and allows others to do the same.

I just wish I could find a man who could get past how I've lived my life. I'm a survivor, but for what. Seems to me that I have survived so I can be told I'm not good enough for any man. There's always something in my life that''s a deal breaker. Doesn't matter that its in the past. I've started coming to terms with the fact that I am alone and nobody wants me.

 

[bkmuscledad]

I just wish I could find a man who could get past how I've lived my life. I'm a survivor, but for what. Seems to me that I have survived so I can be told I'm not good enough for any man. There's always something in my life that''s a deal breaker. Doesn't matter that its in the past. I've started coming to terms with the fact that I am alone and nobody wants me.

It saddens me when someone's past becomes an issue. If there's something going on presently, that's something else entirely, but we've all done things we might not do again if given the chance. If they were mistakes, they help us to learn and grow and become who we are today. I hope you find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

 

[852838]

I've started coming to terms with the fact that I am alone and nobody wants me.

I definitely feel that way often. I've reached the conclusion I am just boring and not overly attractive because I cannot seem to catch or hold any interest from guys more than a few weeks. I know I can get sex if I look for it but I also want a connection and the sex partners I could get seem to have minimal interest in being anything other than physical friends for a few minutes. I am not prude and have had my own one night visitors a few times but they typically just left me feeling empty.

I keep thinking there has to be at least one person out there I can connect with who shares most of what I want and value. I don't care if a guy has been wild in their younger days as long as they want to settle down. I don't want an active alcoholic or drug addict but past behaviors are okay. I don't want someone who desires an open relationship. Preferably I would find someone who is intelligent, has a good sense of humor and is a contributor to society. I am Christian, not a bible thumper but do believe in God and want a partner who does as well. I'm not political and don't mind if someone is but I don't want their focus to be solely on what party wins an office or controls Congress because I ultimately don't think it matters.

It doesn't sound like a heavy list but apparently it is.