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Does it? Does it really?
This expression, to me, has always been just an inane noise people make when they don't know what to say to an upset person. It's continued use is ironic in that I've never seen it have a soothing effect.
I have had similar thoughts. I do not have an answer and I remain, at this moment, open to the idea that things happen for a reason and open to the idea that there is no meaning outside what each individual constructs. However, I have noticed that people suggest that those who see or believe in meaning are doing so for comfort when, as people here note, it does not seem to make people feel better. It was well told in the episode "A Late Delivery from Avalon" of the Sci-Fi series Babylon 5:
"You know I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us, come because actually deserve them? So now I take comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the Universe." - Marcus Cole