Many of you know a bit about my current situation. I am a married father of two who is bisexual, out to my wife and in a committed relationship with my BF. Everyone in my closed loop supports and loves me and, yet, lonlieness still festers from time to time. Yes, it's as complicated as it reads. Throughout my life I have felt like the perprtual outsider. A nerdy, inner city black kid who spoke "too proper" to be down and yet was too "urban" to be accepted by the cool white kids at school. The gay father who won't leave his wife and kids for a man because I love them ALL. Bi--neither striaght nor gay (not that any of that should matter). The kid who listened to R&B, Rap, Cher, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Garth Brooks and loved it all. The intelligent hoodlum if you will--the kid with street smarts and book smarts (truly America's worst nightmare, right?). Raised to know that you can be IN something but not OF it (the ghetto, for example). As a libra--I have always been blessed (cursed?) with being able to see both sides of a dichotomy. I understand urban kids anger at the system while also recognizing that they themselves can do more to overcome it. I understand the system's snubbing of poor people everywhere as ungrateful. I want everyone to have the same and understand that our social sturcture in America is based on HAVEs and HAVE NOTs--without this system, most Americans would crumble. I like men and I like women. I love my wife, my BF and my kids all the same (well, not the same, but you know what I mean). I feel that I have a heightened sense of self--that I have found a way to see my own worldview all the while recognizing the filters that I have over my eyes based on my experiences. But I find it hard finding people who have the capacity to dialogue with me. As such, I feel like (and have always felt like) I belong no-where. No matter where I go, I feel out of place. I feel like no one around me understands or can relate. Isolated amongst friends, nomadic in a crowd. It's the weirdest sensation. I am the chameleon in that I can go ANYWHERE and be anybody--at the barbershop, at the bank, and my office, at the Double L among the Bear/Leather Daddies, at Bill Bateman's Bistro for football. Yet, instead of this blending ability making me feel special or unique--It makes me feel homeless. Does that make any sense? When you partially fit in everywhere--where do you really fit in? Where is home? Is there a home? Not looking for pity--just wanted to throw it out there for anyone else who may have similar feelings. One of the great things about this place is the ability for the posters to be open and honest and conjoin in a unique way. Better now.