ex sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Aug 19, 2006.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    The ex and i have only been broken up for a few weeks and he is already asking for sex. It wasnt a bad break up but he was hooking up with someone else before we were finished and i know he is still with her, and to be honest we werent serious and he is still only a kid (18) so i guess i have to expect the immautrity however his lack of remorse afterwards was a huge turn off but..he was brilliant.

    So just wondering is it a mistake to have ex sex?

    Any good/bad stories you have.
     
  2. OmahaBeef

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    I think it would be wise to cut him loose now so that he learns not to pull that shit anymore. I would be a hypocrit to say I didn't do the same thing that he is doing, but nevertheless that doesn't make it any less wrong. I simply lack any conscious of any sort these days because both men and women have lost sight of whats right or wrong currently, but if I did still have a conscious...the end would mean the end.

    OmahaBeef
     
  3. Doc

    Doc New Member

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    if ex sex is just that, sex, then whats the harm. You are always going to be skating on thin ice though, between what you felt for him before, and what you should just be feeling for him now. And because he cheated, you should really not even be considering a serious situation with him. But that is up to you.
     
  4. Ummagumma

    Ummagumma New Member

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    I run into my previous ex from time to time, and on certain occasions when that happens (namely party type atmospheres), she makes it pretty clear that she'd like to play a game of hide the sausage with me. But I always deny her advances, despite the fact that I haven't had sex in like 2 years. Why?

    Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why. :biggrin1:

    But seriously, it feels like she's just using it as an opportunity to get me back (and it will work, sex with her was really great, and I don't have enough hobbies for sex not to be a dealmaker/breaker). When this happens, I look back at how volatile we were together and how much I don't need the lies, the things thrown at me, stabbed into me, etc. and the little guy calms down and retreats her advances. Now keeping that in mind when I'm in my bed every night, miserable and alone is a bit more of a challenge. :tongue:

    Don't have much more to say ex sex wise...
     
  5. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    Lee_M:

    I would say don't do it. My ex called me this week and put on the voice, you know the "don't you remember how good we were together" voice.

    I was not tempted because of all that has passed between us AND it's been about 14 months since we've been together AND I know that it is strictly a booty call AND I know that he still cares for me.

    I wouldn't want to open those flood gates for either of us. It's definately more trouble than it's worth. We've managed to remain somewhat friendly and I think sleeping together would only hurt whatever friendship we've managed to hold onto.

    Frankly, I value my emotional health more than I need or want an orgasm. Good Luck with your decision.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  6. Ethyl

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    No ex sex here. I need a clean break once it's over.

    But I am guilty of participating several times in "sex one last time before we break up" after we've decided to end the relationship. That's no fun, either.

    If you have no lingering emotions or attachments, i'd say go for it and remind him why he came back for more. :biggrin1:

    Trouble is, most couples who try to reconnect sexually can't let go of the past or the emotions involved, unfortunately making sex with an ex more trouble than it's worth.
     
  7. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    Best not to go there. What's the point?
     
  8. Gillette

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    Depends, how quickly can you orgasm?

    Have him over, make sure you get off, then get off him before he does.

    Fitting payback for having strayed, and it should ensure that he doesn't call begging for seconds.
     
  9. transformer_99

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    You 27, he 18, we're back to the Cougar/Milf relationship here. And the 18 year old, we're really looking at very similar issues of the female teacher getting involved with a HS student, less the statutory rape part. No advices here other than to proceed @ your own discretion since what is done is done. Personally though, I draw the line at certain stages in my life, generally speaking minimums are:

    Me in my 20's and early 30's, she @ least 20. I generally give women a couple years out of high school to figure out a few things for themselves, before seeing them as fair game. In some cases it might be too generous, but laws are laws and no relationship is worth spending time in prison for.

    Early 30's to 40, that will be mimmum of 20 for her and with each subsequent year of my age, add a year to hers, as I hit 40, she could possibly be a very matutre 25 yo minimum. And that really is dictated to me as when I'm 40, what 20 year old is going to want to be with me if I'm not her sugar daddy ?

    Maximums, well, since minimums are a case by case basis that is too.

    With these guidelines set, ex-sex for me, sure, definitely. But I'd know going into it, what it was all about and know that it could end either way. Low expectations of the LT, take it for what it is ST on a day by day basis.

    Just a question though, what happens should you get pregnant for whatever reason by this 18 yo ? That's probably why I give the ladies a few years out of HS to figure out what the real world is about. Reflecting back, me at 27 and her at 18, that would've been tough to pull off a family with and I'm glad it never happened.
     
  10. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    It would never happen, as i/we take every precaution. However worst case scenario and i did get pregnant then id have would be an abortion, yes i do believe its my choice and right now there is now way i could have or even want to have a baby. And also to my defense he wanted to start something earlier but i made him wait until he was legal, and knowing we werent serious i encouraged him to look for other girls..i just didnt expect him to come running back :rolleyes:


    But you all you guys just confirmed what i thought. It really is a messy situation and should be avoided. He is a nice kid and hopefully we can remain friends but i know i have to remember he is only a KID and i think he has in his head because he lost his virginity to me then he can come running back whenever he wants. Guess its thime for me to act my age and tell him it isnt going to happen ever again.
     
  11. Doc

    Doc New Member

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    I think its all about the emotions. If they are strong, then you know it is a bad idea, if they are weak, then why should you care so much. However in your case it seems to be a bad idea, since the guy lost his virginity to you, and you might still have feelings for him and with the age difference, and so on. However I still stand by my earlier point. Sex is sex. It is fun sex, bad sex, emotional sex, fantasy sex, whatever sex it is it is an act your mind can get as deeply involved in as you choose to be. For some of us, it is easy to separate sex from emotions, for others it is impossible.

    I've had great ex sex experiences, but I know more people that don't. I think it is up to the people involved to see how easy or hard it will be. Nothing wrong with the act itself.
     
  12. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    I haven't had much "heavy" dating experience, just a 20 yr relationship and a number of FWB arrangements. But I do think I'd need a clean break too. I agree with MB that it depends on lingering emotions. If it's a deep emotional relationship I'd think it's a bad idea to try to connect sexually when there's still other kinds of baggage around. If there isn't all that baggage why not have a good roll in the hay?:biggrin1: A few weeks ago I had a fun reunion with a fellow I had a fling with earlier this year. That can be fun because we already know each other sexually but we've been away awhile so it feels new and fresh. :biggrin1:
     
  13. fitlaurany

    fitlaurany New Member

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    In my situation, it has been very difficult to let go of the issues I had with him even though he no longer has these issues for a while. Now that some time has passed, I do look at him and I can not only see why I fell in love with him way back when but that he is even better. But I also think that if I were to give in and I do sometimes think about it, it would only open a huge can of worms. Jeez, I don't even want to think about it right now.
     
  14. Skull Mason

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    Just make it all about the cock. If he is hung right and knows how to use it, then why not use it for your enjoyment, pending you don't have any strong underlying feelings for him. Make him your pleasure tool. I would love to be a womans cock slave.
     
  15. Ethyl

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  16. Heather LouAnna

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    He's an ex for a reason. Don't let him have no samples from the cookie store.

    FUCK that. You can find better cock elsewhere. Let that fucker squirm.
     
  17. transformer_99

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    Poor thing, under the impression that the sun won't rise tomorrow ? That mankind will stop making female babies that blossom into beautiful women to have sex with. Ohh, boo hoo, he'll never get laid again. The guy is already getting action elsewhere and who knows where else, bring your "A" game or go find a social lepper.
     
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