Ex still wears my clothes....3.5 years later

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigman79, Nov 19, 2010.

  1. bigman79

    bigman79 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle
    So to make a very long story short I went out with this girl my senior year of high school for about nine months, we were best friends before we started dating. She was a year younger then me and a couple months before I graduated we broke up, wasn’t a bad breakup but I was her first boyfriend and she “wanted to know what other guys were like”. Couple months later she gets with another guy and they are together for about a year and broke up about 5 times in that year. She still is pretty close with this guy even though it’s been about two years since they were officially together, and they are off and on fuck buddies. She hasn’t had an official boyfriend since then.

    Ever since we broke up about 3.5 years ago she has always kept me pretty close. When things were bad, she needed help, needed to talk, or whatever the situation was she would call me, even when she was still with the guy. She even asked me to one of her senior dances even though she was with her boyfriend at the time. So we have always remained somewhat close and she knows I would do anything for her, I’m basically her 911 call. However unlike her other boyfriend where they have stayed fuck buddies, we do not have that, in fact we never had sex and were both virgins at the time of our relationship. So it truly appears to be just a friendship between us now.

    I was an athlete in high school so I had a lot of my sports sweats and sweatshirts, and when we were together I gave them to her and she wore them all the time. When we broke up I didn’t ask for them back. However a couple months later she asked for some her things that I still had (snowboard and movies) and in return I asked for my sweats (even though I knew she had probably shrunken them to a point where I couldn’t wear them) and she told me that she didn’t know where they were and that her younger sister probably had them. I got a hold of her sister and she told me that my ex still wears them all the time. I basically just dropped the whole thing. A couple weeks later I saw her wearing my sweats. One of my friends was at a party and my ex and her boyfriend was there and she was wearing one of my sweatshirts and my friend brought that up to her which pissed off her boyfriend. At one point in their relationship her boyfriend actually dumped her because he said she still loved me.

    A couple months ago I see a picture of her and again she is wearing my sweats. We hung out about 6 months ago and somehow the topic of clothes came up and I brought up how I saw she wore my sweats in her picture and we laughed about how she lied to me about her sister having them even though she had them. And then today, some 3.5 years after we broke up yet again I see a new picture of her wearing my sweats!

    The thing that I think is so weird is throughout all this time she has continued to wear my clothes, even when she had another boyfriend, who also was very involved in sports. I would never wear an ex’s clothes (obviously since I am a guy I probably wouldn’t anyways but I’m talking hypothetically). It’s not as if these were clothes that I bought for her, these are clothes that I had for playing sports, some of which even have my last name on them. And it’s also weird because it’s not as if we are extremely close (still hooking up) but rather just friends. I think I am just use to hearing about people breaking up and a couple days later giving back each others belongings.

    Am I right to think that her still wearing my clothes some 3.5 years after we broke up to be a little weird? Do you think it has any type of significance?
     
  2. bnd

    bnd Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2005
    Messages:
    30
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Nah she's just a crazy bitch who kinda sounds like she has a thing for using guys.

    Don't buy into it and I advise you to drop all contact with her.
     
  3. B_heavypetting

    B_heavypetting New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2010
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    in a house..did i get that answer right
    she's into your sweats..not you. simple as that
     
  4. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    She's treating your things like trophies by now, not as anything specifically about you.
     
  5. draw22

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2010
    Messages:
    364
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    31
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    as disgusting as it is, my so called looser ex took my favorite pair of addida superstars ...white bottoms...wat a looser, thats so disgusting....of him. but ur ex is obviously still cr8zy 4u
     
  6. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,845
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,727
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    Sweetheart, what Bbuko said, they're trophies. No, I've never done it like that, although I have had some old jerseys from ex-boyfriends which sort of became my lay about clothes, as Mum would call them. I wore them because they were comfortable, not because they meant anything to me.

    But I've had girlfriends that have done just what your ex has done to you. She's won them, and she wears them proudly as a silent warning to others: "I'll take your clothes and leave you shivering." Of course, she could be like me and just feel very comfortable in them and not want to give them back.
     
  7. yhtang

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,565
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South East Asia
    There the wisdom in these words.

    Do you intend to do anything about this "relationship" - if you can call it that? Sounds to me you don't mind her using you as a shoulder to rest on when she want one.

    If you are comfortable with that, good for you.

    I have a feeling the dynamics between you and your ex might change once you have your own girlfriend.
     
  8. bigman79

    bigman79 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle
    Well since you bring that up.

    When she started dating the guy and I was still single she would almost rub it in that she had a boyfriend. One time a couple of us were hanging out and one of my friends asked how me and some girl were doing. There was nothing actually going on between me and this girl but we wanted to see if we could get a reaction out of my ex. As soon as this conversation about this girl ended my ex got really quiet and wanted me to take her home, she didn't say a single word on the way home.

    A little after that I started seeing a girl (not an actual serious relationship) and my ex found out and every once in awhile my ex would ask a question about her.

    The interesting thing (to me atleast) is that ever since my ex has been single (about 2 years) she has never asked me if I was seeing anyone, or was interested in anyone. Yet, I have no problem talking to her about her guys, in fact I will usually ask if she is seeing somebody.
     
  9. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    New Jersey is plenty of explanation for this.
     
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Unlike most of the posters in this thread, I don't think what she's doing is weird. I still wear some of my ex's clothes 5 years after we broke up because they're comfortable. And you say you are still good friends so she may be wearing them to feel close to you.
     
  11. bigman79

    bigman79 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle
    I just think its just odd that she continues to wear my clothes, even when she was with her other boyfriend. She even wore my clothes when they were hanging out. I think I am just use to people breaking up, giving eachother their stuff back and never really seeing them again, let alone wearing their clothes. And even when I asked for my clothes back she lied and said she didn't have them anymore..
     
  12. DavidXL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    764
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    230
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    Maybe she wears them because they remind her of you and the times you had together. I have a jacket a girlfriend gave me 17 years ago when we were on a vacation in Wyoming. It is faded, but comfortable, and I still wear it sometimes. I stopped really caring for her about 15 years ago, certainly have no interest in ever seeing her or speaking to her again, but the jacket is a happy memory of the first girl I ever really loved.
     
  13. D_Alec_Baldtwins

    D_Alec_Baldtwins Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 6, 2010
    Messages:
    429
    Likes Received:
    2
    Keeping your clothes and wearing them - not so weird. If she wears them while she's having sex with another guy and yells your name when she's cumming - that would be weird.
     
  14. maxcok

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    7,392
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Elsewhere
    LOL!
     
  15. alteclan2307

    alteclan2307 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2006
    Messages:
    46
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    "imma be where i'm at"


    Lol, wow this comment is Waaay to funny, but it just sounds as if the clothes are comfortable. good luck figuring that out though
     
  16. HiddenLacey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2010
    Messages:
    5,470
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    248
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere
    I still wear an ex boyfriends tshirts to sleep in and we broke up almost 6 years ago. I definitely do not have a thing for him. They are simply comfortable and washed to the point of being snuggie.
     
    #16 HiddenLacey, Nov 22, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2010
  17. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    When a garment is worn to rags in my possession it's my clothing, not the property of the person who gave it to me. If I wear something that used to belong to my mom, does that mean I have a thing for my mom?

    Quit making so much of it after all this time. Some people have a thing for second hand clothing in general, too. It's called being cheap. I will admit to that. Making use of garments that were designed for something else, or combining articles that would never have met if not for my receiving them is part of my creativity.

    I used to wear mens pajama bottoms as blouses all the time when younger, whether I knew whose they were originally or not!
     
  18. bigman79

    bigman79 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle
    Ya I know what you mean. She gave me a t-shirt for a birthday or something and I still wear it every once in awhile even though its faded. I think the difference is that the clothes she wears are mine (not a gift) and some even have my name on them..
     
  19. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Honey, what she's doing really isn't that unusual. Between this and your other thread about her, I suspect you're having trouble moving on.
     
  20. bigman79

    bigman79 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle
    Ya I know that. Lately I've been wishing that when we broke up that it was the last time i ever saw/talked to her. But "staying bestfriends" sounded so nice at the time. Too bad I don't have a time machine..
     
Draft saved Draft deleted