Ex still wears my clothes....3.5 years later

[B_subgirrl]

Ya I know that. Lately I've been wishing that when we broke up that it was the last time i ever saw/talked to her. But "staying bestfriends" sounded so nice at the time. Too bad I don't have a time machine..

I like staying friends, although only one of my exes have been willing to give it a try. I can never quite understand how people can be close to someone for years, then want to stop all contact. Doesn't make sense to me. Good on you for giving the friendship thing a go.

I don't think you should end your friendship with her, by any means. But you need to figure out what you need to do to move on. Have you had any relationships (sexual or otherwise since then? - I think you may have discussed this somewhere, but I can't remember the details). I've found in the past that fucking someone else helps (helps me anyway).

 

[bigman79]

I don't think you should end your friendship with her, by any means. But you need to figure out what you need to do to move on. Have you had any relationships (sexual or otherwise since then? - I think you may have discussed this somewhere, but I can't remember the details). I've found in the past that fucking someone else helps (helps me anyway).

Ya I've been with and have had sex with other girls since her. Not an actual girlfriend relationship, but just flings I guess you would say. She doesn't talk to me about my life with girls, and when she does hear about me with other girls she doesn't take it too well.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Ya I've been with and have had sex with other girls since her.

And it didn't help? So much for my great advice then! :tongue:

Not an actual girlfriend relationship, but just flings I guess you would say.

I would actually avoid this until you are very much over your ex if I were you. It really wouldn't be fair if you still have strong feelings for someone else.

She doesn't talk to me about my life with girls, and when she does hear about me with other girls she doesn't take it too well.

I think you should treat her like you would any female friend. If you would tell other female friends about it, tell her. You might be special to each other, but neither of you has any right to be jealous regarding new relationships/sex partners. Just my opinion though - others may give you different advice entirely.

Another thing that works for me (although I'm guessing you've already tried it by now), is to remind yourself of all the reasons you aren't right for each other. It doesn't have to be in a mean way, just an honest assessment of the situation. And every time you catch yourself thinking 'I wish . . .' remind yourself of those reasons you weren't good for each other.

The transition from partners to friends is always difficult, but it can be done, sometimes more successfully, sometimes less so. Keep at it. I wish I had more advice for you.