Exercise Advice

nakedguy77

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The back story boils down to this.y wife was diagnosed with cancer last year, she went through surgery and chemo and is in remission. Prior to that, while neither of us was in line to be mr or Mrs america, we were in decent shape. In the intervening time we have put on 20-30lbs. I am trying to get her out of the house and go hiking again, or get into a gym but she super emotional and depressed.

Y'all have any insights that might help point me in the right direction to help her get up and get moving again?
 
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51arledge

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I have 2 different, but not mutually exclusive, recommendations:
* The Washington Post today has an article by a female personal trainer who talks about how weight lifting finally kicked the depression she's been fighting for 30 years, and which none of the antidepressants ever helped.
* Yoga. It's all about mindfulness by way of insights into how your body stands, sits and moves...and thereby freeing yourself of the obsessions with daily life.
 

socalfreak

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Well, assuming nothing was surgically removed/altered, etc.... And there are no physical limitations placed on her...
Maybe think of something she's mentioned in the past as looking like a fun thing to try & do it together.
Even if it's something you detest (jazzercize, anyone?), if it gets her moving again, it's worth it.
If her depression is significant, therapy may be of value here.
If it's not, then it's a matter of reminding her how lucky she is to be able to do things.
"Victim" & "survivor" can be the exact same set of circumstances. It's a matter of mindset. (Did you get your butt kicked by cancer? Or did you fight it and wind up on top with a few battle scars?).
I hope this helps.
Good luck to you and your wife!
 

Snarky_succubus

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Well, assuming nothing was surgically removed/altered, etc.... And there are no physical limitations placed on her...
Maybe think of something she's mentioned in the past as looking like a fun thing to try & do it together.
Even if it's something you detest (jazzercize, anyone?), if it gets her moving again, it's worth it.
If her depression is significant, therapy may be of value here.
If it's not, then it's a matter of reminding her how lucky she is to be able to do things.
"Victim" & "survivor" can be the exact same set of circumstances. It's a matter of mindset. (Did you get your butt kicked by cancer? Or did you fight it and wind up on top with a few battle scars?).
I hope this helps.
Good luck to you and your wife!
100% this. Just encourage her (even indirectly) to get back to living life. Even if that just starts with taking her on dates or a walk in a park... anything to make her feel normal again and proceed from there.
 
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nailz

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I was going to say weights and yoga, but I see someone beat me to it :)

Both can be done in the privacy of your own home if she's feeling self-conscious.

I'd also recommend giving her some space and privacy, at least in the beginning.
I never had inhibitions working out in front of my bf or others in the past, but I had a really nasty battle with COVID-19 that totally destroyed both my health and self-confidence. I've been slowly building both back up but I've been super self-conscious and shy about working out in front of others since I'm not used to being so weak and helpless. Going from squatting over twice my bodyweight to barely being able to squat without any weights at all is very humbling :(

So make sure to give her lots of space until she feels confident enough to involve you in her workouts ;)
 
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nakedguy77

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I was going to say weights and yoga, but I see someone beat me to it :)

Both can be done in the privacy of your own home if she's feeling self-conscious.

I'd also recommend giving her some space and privacy, at least in the beginning.
I never had inhibitions working out in front of my bf or others in the past, but I had a really nasty battle with COVID-19 that totally destroyed both my health and self-confidence. I've been slowly building both back up but I've been super self-conscious and shy about working out in front of others since I'm not used to being so weak and helpless. Going from squatting over twice my bodyweight to barely being able to squat without any weights at all is very humbling :(

So make sure to give her lots of space until she feels confident enough to involve you in her workouts ;)
space and privacy has never been an issue with us, we married in our 30's after other relationships and that was a must. and yse, she was self consious about the scars from surgery but i think they nice, they a map that reminds us of where we been and how we survived.