When I decide to see someone exclusively, I tell them that I'm looking for a husband, and that if they aren't looking for a wife, they should let me find my man. I tell them I'm prepared to spend the next few years learning the things about them I need to know to be a great asset to them, and that I expect the same in return. I give them a rough sketch of what I think is a sensible outline of how to carry on our life.
I like spontaneity, if within a structure. The older I get, the less time I allow for a man to make up his mind. I want to be married by 2010 because of my biological clock and my ideology (which dictates that I spend the first few years of my marriage childless and doting on my husband in ways he will not see again for decades). A lot of families split after the children go to college because the couple does not know how to be childless. When I was 19, I told my then-boyfriend that he had five years to figure out his life and decide I was the one. After two years, I told him I was sure about him, and that he had three years to decide if he wanted a future with me or not, but that if he knew sooner, he should declare intentions to marry me, or let me go find my mate. His response was to take me shopping for a ring in year four. But I think he never really knew what he wanted. I'd told him that if he didn't know we should split up despite our strong emotional bonds because I wanted a husband. Selfishly, he kept me and ate up a lot of time. I did worry that my schedule was doomed, but things have worked out fine. (I have seen the receipt for the insurance policy for my engagement ring by accident, and my man has asked my for my grandmother's blessing.)
I think the young man in question isn't really upset about is girl's demands. He's upset that he's a wishy-washy, immature brat who doesn't know what he wants out of his life. She should run as fast as she can.
