aecap26

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My husband and I have been together for 15 years. I love him more than anything or anyone else in this world. We’ve both spent the last several years working to better ourselves physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually. We’ve grown to a highly-connected place where we’re finally feeling safe and free to begin to express our innermost thoughts and desires.

Our journey has led us to a place where we want to explore both our sexualities as a couple (I’m gay, husband is bi, lean gay) in a safe, fun, gay, open, and nude environment. We’ve landed on spending a Christmas weekend in Palm Springs.

We’re looking for ideas on places and experiences to try. We’re still working through our boundaries and what we may want to do, but so far we’re feeling:

*Clothing optional resort
*Body positive atmosphere for average guys
*Good crowd around our ages 43 & 40
*Healthy socialization
*Couples massage - both for stress/sports recovery and sensual from two strong beefy men.
*Nature fun
*Bathhouse/steam/sauna/spa
*Fitness/gym: both for actual fitness but also for fun
*Sling
*Voyeur/exhibitionist fun
*Possible 3threesome/group fun: either watching or being watched, maybe random walk-in
*Possible MMF fun
*Possible trans fun

At this stage in our journey, we would consider ourselves Vanilla with a fun swirl. Things that we’re not really into:

*Overly extreme, hard core, rape fantasy, or aggressive touching places
*Overly kinky/Pig Play
*Unsafe activity: bug chasing, unprotected anal. We’ll both be recently mpox vaccinated and COVID and flu boosted; we’re TBD on PrEP
*Hardcore drugs (weed ok)
*Individual play: we’re in this as a couple and it’s built on trust. We’ve set a hard boundary that we’re in this together 100%.

We would love any suggestions or sharing that you may have.
 

Cloudbear

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Honestly, I don't think it is going to go well for you. Maybe try and find a resort that allows nudity but no play areas. Things aren't going to be that fantasy-like.

Palm Springs you are going to see drugs. That goes without saying. Just be on the lookout and stay away.

The whole sexual fun thing only really works for a couple if they no longer see sex as possessive. If you have the least bit of comfortableness about who the other partner is with, it isn't going to work. The couples that I do see having a good time at these places know that the sex part is just for fun, and the relationship is built around other things. Let the other partner go off and have a little fun with stuff you are not into, and likewise yourself., If you should happen to find someone both of you would enjoy, THEN bring up the idea of a threesome or more.

And that's the other part. You are responsible for making sure your partner is also having a good time, and if they are not, helping them find someone or back off yourself. And at the end of the day, or the end of the trip, however you decide it works, you know who you are going home with.
 

aecap26

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Honestly, I don't think it is going to go well for you. Maybe try and find a resort that allows nudity but no play areas. Things aren't going to be that fantasy-like.

Palm Springs you are going to see drugs. That goes without saying. Just be on the lookout and stay away.

The whole sexual fun thing only really works for a couple if they no longer see sex as possessive. If you have the least bit of comfortableness about who the other partner is with, it isn't going to work. The couples that I do see having a good time at these places know that the sex part is just for fun, and the relationship is built around other things. Let the other partner go off and have a little fun with stuff you are not into, and likewise yourself., If you should happen to find someone both of you would enjoy, THEN bring up the idea of a threesome or more.

And that's the other part. You are responsible for making sure your partner is also having a good time, and if they are not, helping them find someone or back off yourself. And at the end of the day, or the end of the trip, however you decide it works, you know who you are going home with.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. We’ve been doing all the reading to find a place that might work and we agree the places that aren’t play-focused are the best fit for us.
 

drainedmt

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I've actually had a good experience at Vista Grande Resort and Descanso Resort, both of which are clothing optional and sex positive without feeling like sex clubs (no day passes).

Vista Grande is definitely dated but the pool areas are really nice. In fact, I've met many friendly couples there. Some are more exhibitionist and will leave their blinds open while having sex, others will invite you to join after getting to know you.

I have been single when I've visited and met other single guys as well. In fact, a couple of us younger (late 20s to early 40s) guys all went out together one night for platonic drinks and dinner and still chat on social media.

As for sexy fun, they have a lagoon, steam room, and again, a no-pressure environment. The guys and staff there are always nice even though I'm not the typical white jock.

Descanso is a more modern clean environment. It definitely had resort/relaxation vibes but at night definitely became busier in the rooms with several groups and couples. There's no public play areas there. I will say the crowd was predominantly white jocks and I did not fit in. But people weren't outwardly rude and I ended up being able to invite a white jock over who was not a guest. I believe it's a sister property to Santiago which has a similar vibe I'm told.

Hope this helps.
 

aecap26

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I've actually had a good experience at Vista Grande Resort and Descanso Resort, both of which are clothing optional and sex positive without feeling like sex clubs (no day passes).

Vista Grande is definitely dated but the pool areas are really nice. In fact, I've met many friendly couples there. Some are more exhibitionist and will leave their blinds open while having sex, others will invite you to join after getting to know you.

I have been single when I've visited and met other single guys as well. In fact, a couple of us younger (late 20s to early 40s) guys all went out together one night for platonic drinks and dinner and still chat on social media.

As for sexy fun, they have a lagoon, steam room, and again, a no-pressure environment. The guys and staff there are always nice even though I'm not the typical white jock.

Descanso is a more modern clean environment. It definitely had resort/relaxation vibes but at night definitely became busier in the rooms with several groups and couples. There's no public play areas there. I will say the crowd was predominantly white jocks and I did not fit in. But people weren't outwardly rude and I ended up being able to invite a white jock over who was not a guest. I believe it's a sister property to Santiago which has a similar vibe I'm told.

Hope this helps.
Thank you. We've been looking at Vista Grande and it seems like it's the best fit for what we're looking for: a casual, no-pressure environment. Glad to hear that you've had a great experience there!
 
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