Extreme Jealousy?
- Thread starter alwaysguessing
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Incocknito
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The truth is everyone has issues.
The point of "being" with someone is that you both accept each other for your individual "issues" (some might say flaws) and help each other to work through them.
alwaysguessing you seem to not care about your gf very much and you're a little bit annoyed that she isn't "perfect". But for some reason you won't break up with her.
I think the tossers telling him to "run" are a bit over the top. I'm sure that with the right guy; a considerate and caring, "emotionally available", "available-to-go-to-therapy" guy his girlfriend would not exhibit these jealous episodes and other negative behaviours.
People can change with the right catalyst. Obviously some of you are anticatalysts.
I think you are both bad for each other.
The point of "being" with someone is that you both accept each other for your individual "issues" (some might say flaws) and help each other to work through them.
alwaysguessing you seem to not care about your gf very much and you're a little bit annoyed that she isn't "perfect". But for some reason you won't break up with her.
I think the tossers telling him to "run" are a bit over the top. I'm sure that with the right guy; a considerate and caring, "emotionally available", "available-to-go-to-therapy" guy his girlfriend would not exhibit these jealous episodes and other negative behaviours.
People can change with the right catalyst. Obviously some of you are anticatalysts.
I think you are both bad for each other.
as i tell my daft sister so often,
the problem is who she is!
you might scare her enough to put her on best behaviour for a few weeks, but that's an act put on for your benefit.
you're not going to change who she is by accepting this temporary charade.
and don't kid yourself that you're in control when it's you tiptoeing around, scared to look half the population in the eye, in an attempt to avoid conflict by cutting off your own balls.
the problem is who she is!
you might scare her enough to put her on best behaviour for a few weeks, but that's an act put on for your benefit.
you're not going to change who she is by accepting this temporary charade.
and don't kid yourself that you're in control when it's you tiptoeing around, scared to look half the population in the eye, in an attempt to avoid conflict by cutting off your own balls.
It's not a bad attitude. It is her problem. But you're still with her so one has to ask why. If you feel she's worth the effort then that's why I suggested going to therapy with her. If she's not, then you already knew your answer before starting this thread.
EDIT: you can always find great sex. She won't be the last if that's the only reason you're still with her.
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- sbat,
There are issues, and then there are issues
You'd know the difference if you've ever dated a nutcase. There are people in this world who are irrevocably damaged by their life experiences. Those who don't have hero complexes would do well to avoid them.
Well - while the jealousy is not your issue, its intrusion into your daily life and relationship are. I think if you want to stay with her you should reconsider. You might learn something... about her, about yourself, about whether there is any point in putting yourself through this any longer.
God, I hate it when I agree with this guy
Incocknito
Sexy Member
Everyone is damaged goods (to some degree).
My point is that they are obviously not right for each other. He is not helping her with her therapy and they aren't spending much time together that doesn't involve sex.
I don't think the guy's gf in this case is a nutcase. That's a strong word. She is just jealous. Or is that the definition of a nutcase now? Someone who gets jealous. If that's the case then everyone is or has been a nutcase at some point in their lives.
I think it's unfortunate that the girlfriend in this case isn't getting the sort of love and support she needs. She's blatantly being used for sex by alwaysguessing. Maybe they're both happy with that but it still does not change the simple fact that it is bad for at least her and probably him too.
My point is that they are obviously not right for each other. He is not helping her with her therapy and they aren't spending much time together that doesn't involve sex.
I don't think the guy's gf in this case is a nutcase. That's a strong word. She is just jealous. Or is that the definition of a nutcase now? Someone who gets jealous. If that's the case then everyone is or has been a nutcase at some point in their lives.
I think it's unfortunate that the girlfriend in this case isn't getting the sort of love and support she needs. She's blatantly being used for sex by alwaysguessing. Maybe they're both happy with that but it still does not change the simple fact that it is bad for at least her and probably him too.
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helgaleena
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I have heard that Borderline Personality Disorder cases , if sexually active, can be quite thrilling in bed. But it's a trade-off because they are unstable in the rest of life. It's fine if the OP wants to continue having sex, but using the term 'girlfriend for her gives her false and dangerous significance in his life. She will ultimately misunderstand how little she means to him. He is judgmental towards her crazy side.
Incocknito
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helgaleena
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It's just that the OP says she's been in therapy and also that the sex is so thrilling. Doesn't mean she's one herself. Hopefully her therapy will progress enough that she will realize he's just using her for sex and dump him, OR... the OP may actually discover he loves her just as she is, insecure clingy tantrums and all.
- sbat,
What is more likely is that things will continue as they are until she does something drastic enough for the sex to no longer be worth the trouble.
He may discover that he loves her, tantrums and all, for now. But 10 years on it won't be any bed of roses. OP you should end it and move on. You say you love her but I doubt that it's a deep love. Relationships that last are based on unconditional love and it doesn't sound to me like that's what you two have going on. If the relationship needs counseling before it even gets off the ground, then it's doomed. It's just going to be a pain in the ass, don't fuck your life for it.
If you are just in it for the sex, there's nothing wrong with that as long as she knows it. But I doubt she's mature enough to handle it.
OCMuscleJock
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Well you're not him. Like you said...that was almost 10 yrs. ago. She doesn't need to be with anyone till she can work out her issues. If things progress further in your relationship and her issues aren't taken care of, you BOTH will be hurt even more. God forbid you have a child with her and something happens. Just something to think about.
OCMuscleJock
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