Extreme Jealousy?

How extreme is this jealousy?


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    71

Gillette

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It might make you feel better to pick up an 8 to 12 pound sledgehammer, and just beat the shit out of a tire. Seriously, it's a great release for aggression and it provides a killer workout. Good for both your body and mind. :smile:

Seriously though, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGI9u_vpHS4

Whatever you do, don't try this with a claw hammer. I dated a guy who got the claw embedded in his skull doing this to a tractor tire while on the tractor.

It gets better.

I told the story to some people he would never meet to be embarrassed by it but when I got home I told him that I had shared the story of the time he got the hammer stuck in his head.

His response..."Which time?"
 

sbat

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I hate to tell you, but this post realy makes it seem like you are settling for "at least better than what your friends have" :frown1:

Although, I have to say that the dismal outlook on m/f relationships is what drove my interest in dating women lower. Not specifically what you have said here, but experiencing and seeing the same or similar with me and my friends.

Well, unless you get really lucky, you usually only get what you ask for in life.

He's asking for "better than his friends," and if he beats them by a nose, he's satisfied.
 

alwaysguessing

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By following the thread

If you're just going to be a dickhead, why bother posting at all? Perhaps I should intrude on your threads, presume to understand your motives better than you do, and then resort to snide comments when you ask for a reasonable explanation. That sounds like fun!

I'd like to know why it's so clear that my relationship is centered around competition with my friends.
 
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alwaysguessing

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You did not come here for relationship advice? But you posted a question in the Relationships forum!

And please stop denying yourself feelings and reactions to what your girlfriend stirs up in you. You seem committed to her so make sure you play fair. Get off your high horse now and then and be just as emotional as she allows herself to be on the subject of your obvious love.

This is also the jealousy forum and I asked for opinions on jealousy. I didn't ask whether or not I should break up with my girlfriend, whether or not we should have sex, or how I should behave towards her. People offered their opinions on those matters anyway, which is fine. But the fact is, I did not introduce those topics in the OP nor in the poll.

Making an effort to discuss our issues calmly, in a mature fashion, somehow puts me on a "high horse"? How will acting emotional benefit my relationship? I'm really not understanding this concept.
 

sbat

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If you're just going to be a dickhead, why bother posting at all? Perhaps I should intrude on your threads, presume to understand your motives better than you do, and then resort to snide comments when you ask for a reasonable explanation. That sounds like fun!

I'd like to know why it's so clear that my relationship is centered around competition with my friends.

You've been given good, if brutally honest advice from multiple people. The majority who have concurred that this is a relationship best consigned to history, all based on the narrative that you have chosen to share.

In response, I've read multiple defensive attempts to rationalize your rejection of the advice to stop the relationship, which ranged from guilt about what would happen to her if you left, to quoting poetry that talks about how 'love' requires a great deal of emotional suffering, to trying to convince us that your situation is relatively normal, and that it's worse for some of your friends.

It's that last justification that prompted my last post. I'm not saying you're making it a competition. I'm saying that you've realized that you're a lot more emotionally invested in the relationship than you were thinking at the time you wrote the OP (done in a fit of frustration, as you've admitted), and you're finding reasons consciously or subconsciously to stay in it. One such is to convince yourself that dealing with a girl that throws emotional bullshit at you is normal - and that in fact it's not so bad because, hey, you're at least having sex while some of your buddies are even getting cut off.

I'm even going to go out on a limb and say that I bet you didn't think people would be so strongly in favor of you leaving the relationship, that you expected a few women at least to say it's normal and to be reassuring - to give your investment in this girl some kind of validation or approval.

Maybe I am a dick for putting that kind of thought and analysis into what you are saying, but hey, you're the one that aired his laundry and asked the forum's opinion. If I make a thread soliciting peoples opinions, feel free to be as brutally honest as you want. I'd expect nothing less.
 
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alwaysguessing

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I hate to tell you, but this post realy makes it seem like you are settling for "at least better than what your friends have" :frown1:

I said that I feel lucky and appreciative of my girlfriend, and I'm not interested in anyone else. I do not believe that is the meaning of "settling". I though settling meant that you were dissatisfied with your relationship, but stayed anyway because you believe it is the best that you can do, even though you recognized better men/women were around and you wished you could have them instead. I think that's about the opposite of my situation, so my situation is near the opposite of settling.

Say that a woman is dating a man with a large penis. She listens to her friends gripe about their men having small penises, and she feels even greater appreciation for what she has. Would you say that she is settling?
 

Countryguy63

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<snip>
Indeed, I recognize that her actions are not normal nor representative of the average woman.
<snip>

Still, I can't deny that the LTR's of my friends appear to be just as bad, if not worse than mine. I've drawn that conclusion based on my observations of their interactions and behavior, and complaints from my friends. Some of the jealousy and hurtful outbursts of those women make my girlfriend look like a saint. I feel lucky to have her when I think of how my friends are suffering. Plus, they don't get nearly as much sex. A couple of my married friends get no sex at all. To me, sex is the most crucial aspect of a sexual relationship. Maybe it seems shallow, but I feel very lucky and appreciative to have the sex that I am getting.
<snip>

<snip>
I'd like to know why it's so clear that my relationship is centered around competition with my friends.

First, hope I can clarify that I am not trying to disrespect you at all :smile:. Sometimes when we are putting ourselves out there for assistance and help, we can reveal things that we can't see about ourselves, but to those looking from the outside, it's clearly visible. I am sincerely trying to help. You are free to disagree with me, and if you ever want me to butt out, just say the words :wink:

That said, the above paragraphs reveals that you feel that despite how bad she is treating you, based on your friends relationships being "just as bad, if not worse", you feel it's ok.

You need the "best for you", not better than others, that aren't as good. Sex is great, but sex with trust and respect, and truly being loved is unbelievably awesome :biggrin1:
 

alwaysguessing

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Thank you sbat, you make some very reasonable and astute observations there. And I admit that you seem to have impressive insight into my motivation and rationale. I have no problem with anything you just said. I found your previous two comments to be terse and unhelpful, which is why I called you a dickhead, but you've made up for it now.

I agree folks have offered good and honest advice, and I've already expressed my appreciation several times in this thread.

FTR, I did not expect any women to reassure me, but they did anyway, by PM.

Also, several men and women posted some very nice reassuring comments in the thread too, and I'm very grateful.
 
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alwaysguessing

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You are free to disagree with me, and if you ever want me to butt out, just say the words :wink:

Not at all, my friend! I was not offended by your comment. I just didn't understand it.

That said, the above paragraphs reveals that you feel that despite how bad she is treating you, based on your friends relationships being "just as bad, if not worse", you feel it's ok.

No way do I think her poor behavior is ok. I'm not trying to justify her destructive tendencies by comparing her to my friends. I'm simply appreciating the good aspects of the relationship more, because I see them as rare commodities among my peers.

You need the "best for you", not better than others, that aren't as good. Sex is great, but sex with trust and respect, and truly being loved is unbelievably awesome :biggrin1:

Indeed, you are right. And I want to experience that with her.
 
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helgaleena

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I guess my use of the term 'high horse' got your attention. I meant that you are-- for good reason of course-- thinking habitually about your beloved, that she is the one who is broken and needs fixing. I am glad you are focusing more upon the positives, and I encourage you to join her in the drive for self-improvement as well. You both will benefit.

That is all. You doberman, you. :love:
 

alwaysguessing

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I guess my use of the term 'high horse' got your attention. I meant that you are-- for good reason of course-- thinking habitually about your beloved, that she is the one who is broken and needs fixing. I am glad you are focusing more upon the positives, and I encourage you to join her in the drive for self-improvement as well. You both will benefit.

That is all. You doberman, you. :love:

Doberman?
 

alwaysguessing

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Well, fuck me in the beard, sideways.

I'm about to get transferred 400 miles away for my job, for one full year. I don't know how to feel. Part of me is interested to see if the love between me and my girlfriend is real and will persevere. Part of me is terrified she will freak out and do something stupid (like get pregnant). Part of me is excited to experience a change in scenery and advance my career.

None of me is interested in pursuing other women.

I just don't know how to feel. My head is buzzing but I have a knot in my stomach. Ugh.
 

Incocknito

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Well, fuck me in the beard, sideways.

I'm about to get transferred 400 miles away for my job, for one full year. I don't know how to feel. Part of me is interested to see if the love between me and my girlfriend is real and will persevere. Part of me is terrified she will freak out and do something stupid (like get pregnant). Part of me is excited to experience a change in scenery and advance my career.

None of me is interested in pursuing other women.

I just don't know how to feel. My head is buzzing but I have a knot in my stomach. Ugh.

It sounds as though you're scared she'll find someone better than you. Which sounds like it wouldn't be hard to do.
 

alwaysguessing

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It sounds as though you're scared she'll find someone better than you. Which sounds like it wouldn't be hard to do.

All you have done in this thread is make unjustified personal attacks. I've tried to be civil and consider your position. I've asked you to explain your comments so I could gain a better understanding of your rationale. You ignored all that, and just waited for another opportunity to say something mean and utterly pointless.

Now, I'll just say, fuck off troll.